Here I am!!!

"I promised you to read your work so here I am... I have read it through and I must say, that I am hooked in a way, but think there is still some work to be done here... (Please keep in mind that this is all opinion-based and not to make your work sound bad... I enjoyed to read it and want to help. All my comments/critiques are meant to help you and if they dont, then just ignore them) Beginning with the title: Even though it fits the story perfectly, is it nothing that grabs my attention immediately. "Cabin in the Woods" does sound like a tutorial for your next camping trip and not so much like a horror/mystery story in my opinion... I know how hard it is to change a title but you should really give it some thoughts... Next up is grammar and English... I know English is not your first language... Its my third language so I know how hard it can be... But maybe look it through one more time, or ask someone to do it for you... There are no mayor issues but definitely some stuff that can be done... Also... Work on your synonyms and word choice... Use thesaurus.com or something because it really improved my writing and I am sure it will help you too... Again if you need help just shoot the message... Coming to the story itself, and I would say, that I am hooked, but I think you are to "kind"... Play a bit more with the reader... Wait a bit longer before you make us feel safe... Maybe end the "chapter" earlier... And definitely wait with giving us so many infos... I am currently 236 chapters into my story and my reader know roughly 40% of what is going on... My story is build around the mystery though so it is the purpose that the reader finds the info slowly by themself... But you see what I try to say? Give us less info and give it bit after bit, and not in so big chunks... Your dialogue feels like info-dumping... Make it less explaining but more showing... Let the old man show the dogs to the girl instead of saying us that there are dogs... You know what I mean? Again just ask me for help and I will do my best!!!! End your chapter earlier... And start it earlier too... Make the girl wander through the forest a bit... The the sudden dragging feels more impactful... End it with the man so the reader has time to process it before the next chapter starts... Brutal cliffhangers are perfect!!!! Again I loved to read this and I think the set-up is very interesting... If you put even more time into this, you will end up with a very great story I am sure of that!!! Thank you so much for sharing and shoot the message as soon as you need help with something... If you ever want me to read something from you again than again just shoot the message!!! Yumi :)"