roxy.

on a cold and dark day, roxy found herself standing alone on the edge of a bridge. the icy waters below mirrored the chill that had seeped into her life following the sudden demise of her beloved father. his loss was a void too vast for her young heart to bear, leading her down a path of despair and grief.

“what am i doing?..” she muttered, staring down below her. "i can't do this." on the verge of tears, she stepped down from the ledge keeping her from falling.

roxy started to head home, her hands in her pockets, brushing against the soft, red fabric. a heavy guilt weighed on her heart, pulling her down with each step she took, as if her father's death was her fault.

"i'm so selfish." she thought as her footsteps echoed in the quiet night, the only sound breaking the silence. each step was unhurried, measured, as if she was in tune with the rhythm of the night. the faint rustle of leaves underfoot and the distant hoot of an owl rang through roxy's ears.

she blinked , striving to hold back the tears, her hands secure in the plush pockets of her jacket. the day was marked by a biting 42-degree chill, a clear sign of a crisp october day.

roxy recalled her past, before any of this had happened. she loved school. she loved seeing all her friends, she even loved all her 9th grade classes. she especially loved athena, her best friend since first grade.

roxy remembered the countless hours she and athena spent together, their laughter echoing in the school hallways. they shared secrets, dreams, and even the occasional heartbreak. athena was more than just a friend to roxy; it was during these times that roxy came to understand her own identity, her emotions for athena were beyond mere friendship.

they had a tradition of eating lunch together under the old oak tree in the schoolyard, sharing stories and planning their future together. roxy cherished those moments, the simplicity of their friendship.

but now, things were different. the school hallways seemed quieter, the old oak tree lonelier. athena had moved away, and roxy was left navigating the turbulent waters of high school alone. she missed athena’s infectious laughter, her insightful comments during class discussions, and the comfort of her presence.

thinking about all she's lost, roxy's eyelashes collected tears as the small drop of liquid trailed down her left cheek.

then she was home. roxy reached her hand into her black purse and pulled out a set of keys. one for her front door, one for the mailbox, and the third for athena’s house. although athena, her brother, and her parents no longer lived there and likely changed the locks, it remained a symbol of the enduring trust between them.

additionally, roxy possessed a half-heart key chain adorned with the letter “a,” while Athena had a matching one with the letter “r.”

roxy let out a weary sigh as she stepped into the house, her gaze falling upon her mother perched on the worn brown sofa, eyes swollen from tears.

“roxanne!” her mother’s voice cracked with relief, and she sprang to her feet, rushing toward her daughter. "where have you been? i've been worried sick!” the embrace tightened around roxy, who winced inwardly.

she despised that name—roxanne—the one she was born with, the one that felt like a heavy shroud, a label that doesn’t quite fit her true self. in the quiet corners of her mind, she clings to the nickname "roxy," a rebellious escape from the weight of conventionality.

"roxanne, ugh," she thought, standing there, glancing towards the big, brown clock that sat just above the fireplace. it read 11:33. "i was out that long?" roxy once again thought.

as roxy stood there, as her mother’s arms wrapped around her, she felt a strange sense of comfort. she wasn’t finally felt like she wasn't alone, that she had a family who cared for her, even if it didn’t always feel that way.

“mom,” roxy began, her voice barely above a whisper. “i need to talk to you about something.”

her mother pulled back, looking at her with concern. “what is it, roxanne?” she asked, using the name roxy so despised.

“it’s… it’s about dad,” roxy said, her voice trembling. “and… and athena.”

her mother’s eyes widened slightly, but she remained silent, giving roxy the space to continue.

“i miss them, mom,” roxy confessed, her voice choked with emotion. “i miss dad so much it hurts, and athena… i miss her too. more than i thought i ever would.”

tears welled up in her mother’s eyes as she pulled roxy into another tight hug. “oh, roxanne,” she whispered. “i know, sweetheart. i know.”

"i'm going to my room." roxy said, pulling away from her mother and heading up the stairs.

her mother sniffled. then choked out, "roxanne?"

roxy closed her eyes for a few seconds, turned back around and replied, "yes?"

"i love you so much, and so many other people do, too. just know that."

roxy smiled. "thank you, mom."

roxy had a rather spacious room, complete with its very own bathroom. her family’s financial status was neither at the high end of wealth nor did they struggle financially; they were comfortably situated in the middle class.

roxy’s bedroom is a vibrant and personal space that reflects her interests and personality.

the room is dominated by a loft bed, under which a curtain provides a sense of privacy. a desk is tucked under the bed, providing a quiet place for roxy to study or work on her projects. above the desk, fairy lights twinkle softly, casting a warm glow on the workspace.

a beanbag chair sits in one corner of the room, offering a cozy spot for reading or daydreaming. nearby, a whiteboard hangs on the wall, filled with notes, reminders, and doodles. next to the whiteboard, there are cherished pictures of roxy and athena, a testament to their enduring friendship despite the distance between them.

the walls of the room are adorned with nirvana posters and a bisexual pride flag, proudly displaying roxy’s love for music and her identity. the flag is positioned near the corner, next to the posters on the wall by the top part of her bed.

a full-length mirror stands against another wall, its border entwined with vines and fairy lights, adding a touch of whimsy to the room. a drawer and a closet provide ample storage for roxy’s clothes, while also serving as a secret hiding place for her journal.

next to the bottom part of her loft bed is a small bookshelf, housing a collection of books that range from picture books from her childhood to novels by stephen king. it’s clear that roxy is an avid reader who has devoured every book on her shelf.

the top of her bed is a plushie paradise. sanrio plushies like cinnamoroll and pompompurin share the space with deku, bakugo, and plushies from my hero academia. a flower pillow with a smiley face adds a cheerful touch to the cozy bed.

in addition to these elements, roxy’s room also features a fuzzy, white rug on the floor. a record player sits on the top of the bookshelf, with a stack of vinyl records from various artists, such as nirvana, radiohead, and alice in chains. a plant in a colorful, hand-painted pot sits on the windowsill, adding a touch of nature. the room is a true reflection of roxy - vibrant, cozy, and full of character.

with great effort, she hauled herself up the ladder to her lofted bed. once at the top, she flopped onto her pillow, clutching her deku plushie with a grip stronger than any embrace she’d ever given her mother.

she shut her eyes, attempting to soothe her racing heart. there were so many thoughts in her mind.

"why did dad have to die?"

"did he have to leave?"

"it's all my fault."

roxy tried to stop the tears from escaping her eyes by closing them once again.

"does athena not like me anymore?"

"she hasn't been responding to my texts."

"i'm overthinking."

"i need to calm down."

she sat up from her bed, still clinging to her deku plush.

"i'm going to make some tea.