Sweet Escape

SLOANE

Knife in my left hand, fork in my right.

My father is sitting at the head of the table and me beside him. With a firm grip and a swift motion, I can plunge the knife into his neck-

“Sloane !", my mother calls making me raise my eyes quickly to meet hers. My heart starts beating faster in my chest, I just hope I can hear her voice when she speaks because it's difficult to hear with my loud heartbeats that are hurting my eardrums. Let alone the voices in my head that never seem to shut down.

“Your father asked you a question", she waves her fork and points it to her left where my father is sitting and waiting for me to answer.

"Sorry, I just zoned out for a second. What was it again? “, I hardened my tone trying to sound as confident as I could and I aced it, like I always do, like I was taught.

“How was the practice?", my father asked again cutting his steak, his voice so calm and relaxed.

I lowered my gaze and started toying with the lettuce and other vegetables on my plate like I had been doing for the past twenty minutes, “ which one?".

The table went quiet, it was already quiet but it got even quieter. Both of my parents stopped eating and I could feel the tension radiating from their piercing stare at me.

“ all of them. Honey?", my dad added a ridiculous pressure on the last word sounding forced, and I swallowed.

I didn't say anything wrong, I didn't ask something inappropriate or anything. But these are who they are and their lifestyle, life's not fair, they said.

“ it was good, I-",

“ Lindsey told me you spent twenty minutes in the bathroom, “Mom cut me off, "is there a good reason for that ridiculous amount of time to spend, in a bathroom ?“.

Fucking Lindsey. I wasn't allowed to stay away from that bitch for longer than ten minutes because my parents would be afraid I'd sneak unallowed food and eat it there. And not just that. They wanted to have full control of me.

" Well... I ... I don't know I just-”,

" I don't want that to happen again, ten minutes is long enough “.

I let out a sigh, relieved that I don't have to explain myself because I haven't thought of an excuse. And who the fuck would remember to think of an excuse about why they spent a normal amount of time in the bathroom? Me. I did.

Mom and Dad continued their delicious meals while I forced myself to swallow the vegetables. Because, well, aside from the need to stay alive and not die from starvation. My mom wouldn't allow it, because simply, she wants me to have a perfect body, for modeling.

“Work out for half an hour before bed”, mom said wiping up her mouth. She snaps her fingers and a servant, Maria, approaches handing her a tablet and a pair of glasses.

She turns it on and begins to swipe and type while my father eats slowly distracted by his phone.

Mom just sent me to my room but I know better, unless she says the word 'leave' I shouldn't move yet.

“ you've got to go to try out the outfits. Nelly called saying that they were ready, then you have a practice at the horse field, after that,” she pauses, "Oh, Camilla's assistant called and said that your coach is sick so swimming classes are canceled for tomorrow", my stomach fills with butterflies at the thought of having free time,

“So you'll read the two books I bought the other day", my secret smile disappeared as fast as it came. “Dinner with the son of Mr. Lebowski at eight p.m. Don't forget that, I'll send Maria to pick up the dree for you and by seven p.m. tomorrow, “She hands the tablet back to Maria taking her glasses off with the other hand,

"You better finish reading those books, Sloane . You'll have plenty of time “. She thins her lips. And I look down at my plate,

"Yes Mother”, I whisper.

"Good “, she says.

One... two... five... ten seconds pass and she hasn't dismissed me yet. Was there something else she wanted to say?

I dared to raise my eyes at her finding her ice-blue eyes looking at me intensely lost in deep thought.

" you may leave now”, she finally says, after what feels like forever. I don't waste a second, pushing as quietly as I can off the table and taking small steps careful not to make a sound.

There was something she wasn't telling me. But everything that came out of her mouth was bad so I doubt that her thoughts were any better.

...

At my house, Lindsey, “my best friend", leaves and goes to her house - at least at night time- her job is to watch me and monitor every move of my parents, mostly my mother. But she's a total bitch. I miss Nora.

Nora was the girl my parents hired before Lindsey, she was a snitch but she was better than this evil that I'm stuck with.

Nora would let me sneak some snacks from time to time and by that, I mean letting me stay at the bathroom for minutes longer than I'm supposed to without telling my mother.

Honestly, though, I do, I sneak food and eat it secretly but it's not every day. And my mother never finds out because I only eat it for pleasure. And after the pleasure is gone I'd stick my two fingers in my throat and take it all out and flush it down the toilet. As if nothing happened. And that's how I don't gain weight.

But lately, I've been sneaking food a lot because of Lindsey.

My mother told her to be so strict with me and show no mercy or else they'll fire her but that was unnecessary because she's already a devil.

At lunch, she would order a big ass meal and make unnecessary sounds, enjoying the food just to tease me. And I'm a person that is so easy to be teased.

But because of that, I'm growing weaker. I'm fainting a lot, losing my vision for a couple of seconds...

It isn't good, it isn't healthy, it isn't good for the business. If I get sick it'll make my life worse because neither my parents would care if I'm dying. The work has to be done. The business must continue.

And I'd rather do that in a healthy body and a clear mind.

Taking a shower after the workout, Mom added ten minutes today and I don't know why, and I don't care either. They've been ruling my life since the second I was born, I don't have to worry about anything.

Throwing myself on the bed completely naked I stare at the white ceiling above me.

This feels so comfortable, the bed, the soft warm blanket against my cold bare skin. My tired body finally had a moment of relaxation from the busy day I had.

I have so many tasks to do every day to the point where I can't believe that I've done all that in just one day and if I hadn't checked the time now and then I'd be convinced that I lived two days instead of one.

Closing my eyes, the darkness starts to shift into new colors.

Blue,

Hearing new sounds all of a sudden I sink deeper into the thought or... memory.

Waves,

Someone. A small figure running on the sand of the beach, short hair... is it a boy?

Yes, of course it is. The same boy who's been hunting me since... forever.

The little giggles as I try to keep up with him, running and running. He turns around, his face is blurred and I hear his voice.

“Come on! “, he encourages me to run faster until I run past him into nowhere...

Who is he? Is he a memory or just an illusion I created to feel less lonely? Is he a real person?

Someone slams the door open and I open my eyes widening them at the reminder that I'm completely naked. Quickly I sit up and yank the blanket covering myself.

“My god! What are you doing?", my mom.

“I was just-",

“Get up", her tone is hard, she gathered her long hair in a loose bun on top of her head using a scarf. Her wrinkled face is angry. Despite her age and the signs that she's old, my mom still manages to look elegant with her beautiful taste in clothes and her healthy hair. But I don't look like her...

I've always tried to find out who I look like the most but I don't look like any of them, and it's strange. But people constantly say that I have her eyes and have my dad's sharp jawline.

Remembering what she asked me to do, I stand up fisting the blanket into my body too hard I almost dug my skin with it.

My mother closes the door and then walks towards me looking me up a nd down. Without a warning, she takes the blanket from my hands and throws them away.

“Wait!", I yell trying to cover myself desperately. I know it's just my mother and she has seen me naked many times growing up. But she and I don't share that kind of relationship and I don't... like her.

She circles me studying every inch of my body and I try my best to not let the tears cascade down my face.

She puts her hand on my right shoulder squeezing it lightly and it almost feels good to have pressure on that area. But then she squeezes too hard making me hiss, “Straighten up, never bend your back to the front too much".

I know, I know, I know, I know.

"Whatever happens, don't let that son of a bitch touch you tomorrow”, she pauses, " at least not yet”.

She means Lebowski's son.

God I hated my life, my parents would use me in every way possible, and they would make me sleep with people to get more deals and more money. I lost my virginity to an old man who was twenty-five years older than me. And it wasn't nice, not one bit. And I was only sixteen years old.

My mom meets my eyes again, “Get the scale”, she orders.

"Can I wear something first-”,

"Get the scale, Sloane . Stop pissing me off”.

I drop my hands by my sides because it's useless to cover up at this point. Not that my hands were covering much of my breasts anyway.

I walk through the walk-in closet and find the machine. I carry it back to the center of the room and place it on the floor and step on it. Please don't be more than 120 pounds, please don't be more than...

120 pounds. I read on the scale screen

I let out a deep sigh relieved, who knows what would've happened if it was more? I do. She'd starve me until I got back to the perfect weight.

My mother nods in approval. I take the scale back and place it where I found it and when I go back to meet her again I can't help but feel exposed and my arms automatically go up around my body trying to hide it. But then I catch her eyes staring at my chest for too long.

It's a crime to call my mother's tits, breasts because of how flat she is.

I cross my arms in front of me and tuck them under my breasts making them stick out more not missing the look of jealousy that I catch in her eyes. And the light twitched in the corner of her mouth.

Yes, feel it. Get jealous. Feel insecure, feel bad about yourself you bitch.

“Go to bed, now", she finally leaves my room closing the door behind her. Finally, I can get back to relaxing.

...

“That is ridiculous!", my mother's shouts downstairs wake me up. I take my phone and unplug it from the charger. It's six in the morning. I have thirty minutes left.

“Last time I visited, it wasn't even that bad", my mother continues to shout probably waking the whole house. I'm pretty sure she's in the living room downstairs and she's speaking so loud that I can hear her from my room and the door is closed.

But as much as I want to know what's wrong, I close my eyes again because these are the last few minutes of rest and then I would start my endless day.

One hour later I'm sat at the dinner table eating my breakfast. My first meal of the day is my favorite, unlike lunch and dinner. Because I finally eat something that doesn't include vegetables.

I take a sip of the freshly made orange juice and start eating the big bowl of oatmeal and fruits on top. Gosh, this is delicious.

“You're changing school", my mom announces suddenly making me almost choke on the food in my mouth.

What? Why?

Looking at my confused face my mom explains, “I was talking to the principal of Lockwood School and she said that because of that fire, they're going to close to renovate”.

The fire. The fire that I started.

A small smile tugs my lips but I hide it quickly. It was last week, I was peacefully attending class when the teacher started to look at me weirdly. After class, he asked me to stay dismissing Lindsey as well because it was private talk. Once she was out the door he got close to me and tried to kiss me, I fought against his fat old body but he managed to catch my lips with his stinky mouth. Before his hands made it any further over my ass, I broke free and ran for the door.

When I got back home I told my parents but they told me to shut up about it because of the damn deal my father recently got. He called the famous model magazine, Rose Du Soir, asking to put my face on the cover of the new issuance of the month. They told him that they would reply soon and my parents didn't want any trouble to occur in the meantime while they waited for an answer. Because my mother has been dying to see me in the magazine for the next month and be included with the other models and celebrities.

So, I took my revenge by myself and burnt Mr. Kampuch's, the pervert teacher, office. The day after, many girls commented on the school's official website about how they got assaulted by him and they were thankful for what happened. Many of them assumed that someone did it, and most of them were confident that it was a girl and I've never felt happier and proud of myself.

The good news is that I didn't get caught, I was good at sneaking and doing things secretly after all.

“We're moving out", my father is the one who speaks. "Well temporarily", he adds.

Fine by me, we always travel it's not new. But what for? It's the school being renovated not our house. And there are other high schools in Paris, I could just attend one of them.

Well, it seems like my parents have been planning my life since the second I was born. I sit there and watch them live my life, pushing me towards things and pulling me away from others.

“Actually, honey, we can't leave just yet. What about the contract of La Rose Du Soir?", my mom asks, "Besides, she could study at Marymount High School", she adds.

“We already talked about this, Claire. We're going", he doesn't even take his eyes off his plate while speaking to her and I know how annoyed my mother gets when someone disrespects her like that but she the only person that she can't face is my father.

Something feels off. My father has been trying to contact the CEO of the magazine for so long. And he's going to give up on it just like that?

The only thing that would make my father lose interest in something is when he finds something more interesting.

“Why can't I keep studying here in Paris? Why do we have to move?", I dare to ask knowing that I wouldn't get any answers but it doesn't hurt to try.

My father sets up his fork and knife on his plate announcing that he's finished with his meal." You two can't even let me eat in peace can you? You made me lose my appetite “.

My mother glares at me as if it's my fault. Whatever.

"Frank called", he says. Frank, my father's best friend.

“He's inviting us to a party claiming that it's a big party with multiple celebrities, businessmen, magazine CEOs, company owners...“, he explains, my mother's eyes round and shine in excitement.

"It would be a great chance for us to get a deal or two from that party. And that's the main reason for it. People want a new face, a new generation, younger and prettier”.

For fuck's sake, what will happen at that party? Am I going to get sold out or some shit?

"Pack your bags because we're staying there for a while”, my father says getting up from his chair and leaving the dining room, my mom following him asking more questions and getting more details.

Wait. Frank lives all the way in America. Are we traveling that far away? And for how long?

"Sloane? “, my father calls making me immediately stand up, “Yes, father?".

“Don't you ever think that you'll get any bit of freedom there. You will continue your practices and everything. Your mother will take care of it".

Fuck. You.

Yeah, you are my managers and my assistants. Everything but parents.

My anger slowly dissolves when I remember that Frank has a son, Ilia. A hint of a smile tugs my lips remembering my old friend. God, I miss him so much, the last time we saw each other was when he was five years old and I was eight. I can't believe that it's been ten years since. Hopefully, it wouldn't get awkward and Ilia is still that funny kid I once knew.

…