After The End
I don't remember the event of the disaster, I don't even remember certain details, segments. That entire short period has been erased from my memory. Only after the end of the world I remember a period of consciousness that I cannot explain, because I was as dead, just as everyone else on earth, frozen forever in a giant block of ice. I didn't panic, which might be understandable in the given situation, I calmly observed the frozen world around me, the glassy walls of the ice cave and the block of ice in which we were all caught like insects in amber. There was little light in there, only a few glimmers that refracted hundreds of times on the icy rocks and penetrated into the open eyes of those of us who met our ends awake and aware. I was freed from everything, feelings, pain, physical needs, even aging, I felt a peace that I had never felt before. The peace of someone who has absolutely nothing left to lose. All I had was the play of lights and shadows, the ice and a small remnant of consciousness and my eyesight that was eternally watching the new, cold and silent world that would never change again. That lasted a long, long time, but not forever, as I had hoped.
It started with blackness. The light was gone, completely, as if it had been turned off by a switch. Then pain, first in one part on my body, then on three, then on seven, then everywhere, like a fire that spreads and consumes everything in front of it. I was burning alive, and I couldn't move or speak. What is your version of hell? This could've easily been mine. I could have sworn I heard human voices, and understood parts of sentences, or maybe I just pulled them out of my own almost completely extinguished consciousness.
"She's in agony, painkillers won't help! We will lose her!”
"Put her in induced coma!"
After those words, which I may or may not have heard, everything disappeared, voices, ice, light, darkness, pain, and the last trace of my existence. The next thing I remember were trails of light. This was not the same light as before, there was no numbness and stillness, nor the feeling that I no longer had a body. I could sense the weight of my body again, I had eyes that processed the painful light around me, thoughts that were no longer calm or carefree. The peace of non-existence was taken from me. I was useless in this new state, much more so than when I was dead in the ice. My vision was poor and blurred, my eyes could hardly bear the light that was too strong for me, I couldn't move my body. How old was I? I couldn't remember that either. I was desperately trying to remember who I was and if I even existed, if I ever existed.
A bright light was shining from somewhere, and I saw, with my ancient frozen eyes, a woman in a white dress, passing by me. Braided into her long hair was a model of an old-fashioned wooden ship, complete with sails, ropes and everything. I heard my own hysterical giggles. Someone in the room commented that I must be hallucinating. That comment really annoyed me. I was sad that they pulled me out of the ice, and I had the impression that they had no idea what they were doing. They were pushing me on a stretcher around white rooms, scanned and tested and scanned me again, I felt pokes and pricks on my arms where they drew blood and injected nutrients directly into my blood, excruciatingly painful needle stabs in my thighs, for which I guess they were taking my bone marrow for tests, they were running low voltage electric charges into my muscles and other invasive tests and treatments that I just wanted to put behind me as soon as possible. Why didn't they just leave me in the ice when they are treating me like I'm not even alive and like I can't feel anything? Why there is no day or night, and all I see is artificial light and few shadows?
Finally, after what I felt like a long time, I saw a face. Brown hair, shoulder length, female face, about thirty-odd years old and yes, haha, a helmet with a bunch of wires on it, which was my "ship" apparently. They underestimated me, I wasn't hallucinating, I just thought it was a ship for some reason. I laugh and the same annoying voice from earlier comments that I'm hallucinating. Again.
"Your grandma is hallucinating, you ass!" I said. My voice is shrill and low, but everyone immediately fell silent.
