The Beginning to a Beautiful Ending

I like you because and I love you despite! I like you because we have things in common and I love you despite flaws and faults of your own. The first act of life is exciting until it is not. It is because that you have found someone who has or will become so important to you. They become your every morning and every night. They fill all voids and keep you smiling through the night. You have become attracted to them because you have things in common. They are goofy. They drive you crazy. You begin to love everything about them and how in this moment everything feels right. Until the light dies. The second act of life, that is where the depth comes in. You love the flaws and faults in your life. Including your own. The depth is not always about falling in love or living your happily ever after. We go through the most incredible and vein shredding things. Sometimes it tears us limb from limb and sometimes it kills every cell in our body. Yet, it is beautiful. Rich. Surreal. Without everything we are given, good, bad, or indifferent. We would not be who we are today. I believe this can be underappreciated sometimes, because we get hurt, used, abused and so much more. We forget what these things have for us. Life is too short for regrets. Forgive but never forget. Fix your crown and keep on going. Hop on your horse and ride your life away. Sing your pain away. Make something of your name. Build yourself beyond anything you could have ever imagined. Confidence in yourself can make you glow brighter than the sun. loving the flaws and faults in your life can make you bloom into something so breathtakingly beautiful. Just do not forget yourself in the mix of the love, lust or being lost. To save your life even more, ignore the incompetent minds. However, do not ignore the ones who are trying to help you conquer the world in your own way. In a way, sometimes an outsider knows you better than you know yourself. That feeling that overwhelms you and leaves you in awe is so hard to describe. If only it lasted an eternity, but it would not be as appreciated or meaningful as it is now. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if everyone thought this way, not only is that wishful thinking but it is not logical either. What I really do not understand is why we pick people who treat us like we are nothing. We accept the love we think we deserve. Love gives chances more than chances get deserved and this is greatly taken advantage of. Maybe we are meant to let someone unravel our clothes thread by thread, gently pulling the string top to bottom and just melt for a moment. Make ourselves become so weak we cannot move or maybe we just do not want to when two hearts are different. The kind ones get neglected. Some people recognize what a blessing it is to meet someone with such a heart and others look at it as “What is in it for me?” That is where it lies. Let someone become so in awe with you, that every day is an adventure and with whatever happens next to you, just know everything will be okay. You have no worries. No fears. Nothing holding you back. You have let yourself free for a moment. Do not be gullible. Be cautious yet courageous. Be bold yet beautiful. Be dark and twisted and full of opportunity. For me personally, my biggest problem is I get too butt hurt too easily as people say these days. I get to be the purest and truest version of myself without judgement. To hear the words be so true you can hear the emotion pouring out of me. Through my voice you can hear my wall breaks as I release it all to you. Can this be done and not be used against you in the future? I want to unravel myself in front of one person and keep them forever. How do you tell if it is real? You feel valued, appreciated, loved, and know you can trust that person. You slowly let your guard down knowing they could destroy you, but they will not. you believe they will always love you and treat you the way you deserve to be. If that does not happen then what? People change and things change. Someone can reveal themselves as such and yet turn on you in an instant. To tell the difference between what is real and what is not, it is a mystery. We are all just playing the game of life and seeing where our future lies. Those who genuinely care for you and value you will fight for you every day and never take you for granted. They will be afraid to lose you and never want to give someone else a chance to have you. When you find someone that is committed to love you day in and day out. Protect you and give your heart a comfort zone that is when you know it is real. How do you get to this point? You need to truly embrace yourselves to become one, no one does that. I have always been told hope for the best and prepare for the worst. This is still the hardest lesson for me to learn. Here I am back to wishful thinking about why disappointment exists. I do not know what hurts worse, the parents pulling the disappointment card, or it is coming from your favorite person in the world. How would things be if the whole world did not know disappointment? Just joy, love, laughter, smiles, and the purity of happiness. Can you feel it? The purity of happiness filling your soul as if your favorite song is being played loudly on the radio and you are driving on an empty open road with the windows down. Do you feel it? Is it hitting you? Are you soaking it in? In a blink of an eye two hearts meet. They are in sync. Beating as one. Who do they belong to? What is going to happen? For you, who came to mind? Can you feel their presence like the wind? Sometimes I just want to sit in a tree with someone or lay in the grass and read them my inner most thoughts that are normally kept to myself. Unshed my demons. Through words and when I look at them, they do not even flinch an inch. My passion, secrets, dreams, meaningful moments. I want my soul to leave my body and take theirs, hand in hand, enjoy every second of it. I want that person to truly be enriched by the moment not to fall in love with me but to see a different part of me. We get tired of holding everything back. Your heart hurts so much you want to scream, you want to sing the pain out loud, let the world hear your sound. For me, I want to live free oh I just want to be me. I want to live by me and no one else. If I chose to die today, would you let me walk away from my pain? I am going to shed my skin, watch me become someone new, be someone free, would you let me die today if I said please? If I begged and pleaded, would you let me wash down my memories and release me to the wild? Can you feel my despair? Can you tell I am not here? Can you tell that I am tired of the games? Can you see that I am more than broken? I cannot be mended. Do not become me. I want to unravel and become the gravel. Watch me pull myself together in my beautiful shell, you cannot break me anymore you cannot heal me anymore. I am not okay, but I will be more than okay. Please do not stay. I am strong. I am me. In the blink of an eye two hearts meet. With a gust of wind, we can flee. Never knowing what is meant to be.