Chapter 1
What makes a human human? Is it the fact that we have characteristics like humans or our personality? No matter how much I try to understand, I can’t. The girl I am studying is totally different. Her brain functions differently from other people. One time she is super happy, and another time she is very upset. What can I do to understand her better? The first time I started studying her, I tried to talk to her. It was awkward. It’s not like her life is bad or good. I was thinking about doing different activities. The first time we went to the beach, she was smiling. As I saw her feeling the breeze on her body and instantly smiling, I hurriedly noted it down in my notebook. I told myself, ‘You are here to work, not to sleep.’ I called her last time to know about what she has been doing. She confirmed to me that she is doing just fine. I said that I’m happy to hear that.
One time she was crying because there were not enough onions in her burger. I called the fast food place. They apologized and said they would give me a refund if I wanted. I asked her if she would like that. She told me that she understands them and now, from next time, they better not scam people with onions.
It was sunny, and she was amazed by the colorful caterpillar that was eating leaves. I thought that we had seen this for a long period of time, everybody sees colorful caterpillars often, so what is fascinating about them? She said that those are rainbow fairies, and nobody kills them because they are so beautiful.
Another time, she was very angry, her eyes were red and filled with intense rage and it would be a lie if I said I wasn’t terrified of the situation. I thought anything terrible could happen. As I approached her cautiously, fearing the unknown, she reassured me that everything is fine with her. I let her watch the cartoon Mimi on my tv. It left me puzzeled and made me more curious to understand her. I asked her for reasons she thinks she might act that way. She responded by saying she does everything her brain tells her to do. I said that brains have a lot of thoughts, and sometimes we get this urge or desire to do something but we don’t act on it, and proceeded with a question: ‘What about you?’ She normally replies that she never thought of it. Does that mean she has no control over her brain? I am confused as much as you are. How is that even possible? It is not like someone is controlling her brain.
I often find myself contemplating what lies beneath her reactions. Is there a tale of past experiences that mold her responses? Or is it an innate disposition that defies conventional norms? The more I ponder, the more I realize that understanding her might be an impossible feat.
I asked her a question: ‘So if you have the urge to do something horrible, what do you do?’ She replied by saying, ‘I watch Mimi.’ (Mimi is a popular cartoon in this country.) I asked another question: ‘Does Mimi keep you calm?’ She replied by saying, ’Yes, and there is this kid named Mimi, and she gets to do everything she wants. I want to stu
