With Love, Lord Eastwood

Life on the Eastwood estate was quite splendid, if you don’t mind me saying so; with a high garden, tall windows, six chimneys, an enormous number of statues and everything else that goes with the lavishly rich lifestyle of the nobles. The estate was placed between the endless fields stretching far across the horizon and even the mere look at the mansion made you think that only the most respectable people could ever dwell in such a place.

The master of this house was called Lord Eastwood. And yes, he was very respectable indeed! With a great snowy mustache which grew all the way to his ears, and his pocket watch always tucked neatly inside the pocket of his royal blue vest. It had to be royal blue, mind you! Since only the royal was ever good enough for Lord Eastwood. He was rather strict and always had a very precisely planned schedule. Accordingly, he also hated everything and everyone that caused even the slightest change in his routine. He just couldn’t cope with such nonsense!

Lord Eastwood also had a big liking for the fine arts. For nothing says “royal” more snobbishly than a big framed portrait hung on the wall of your manor. It doesn’t matter which artist, or whose nose is portrayed. It just needs to have a fat price with lots of zeros behind it. And to be honest, besides those zeros, Eastwood didn’t know squat about the art.

He did learn some fancy words from his painting vendor, just so he could impress his guests, but he didn’t really understand them. Nor did he care about them. He didn’t like to get dirty, and painting did sound quite dirty indeed! If you’d ask him somewhere very privately, he’d even tell you, that in his humble opinion, artists were nothing but a bunch of nitwits with too much time on their hands.

In reality, Lord Eastwood was passionate only about two things. Scotch and riding. Well three actually, since he liked to ride women almost as much as he liked to ride horses.

You’d think that Lady Eastwood would have a lot to say about this, wouldn’t you? Sadly, she didn’t utter a single word in a very long time. You see, a strange illness took over her a few years ago. It made her become somewhat ... loopy. No matter what you’d tell her, she would only smile and nod back at you.

Lord Eastwood was nothing but devastated when her illness started. He would lock himself in his study for hours, quietly sobbing into the night. All this made everyone in the house sympathetic, imagining how great of a love story there must’ve been between them. But as it turned out in the end, he was only too scared to face the looks and evil tongues of his fellow nobleman. You see, having a loopy wife was very unroyal indeed.

Anyhow, as the time passed, he got quite bored and once again opened his doors to a variety of esteemed guests. Nonetheless, he still spent a lot of his time in the cabinet. Sometimes with his guests, other times with nothing more than the humble company of the maids …

A soft yet determined knock woke Eastwood from his thoughts.

“You called, my Lord?”

“Oh miss Lavender, but of course!” he cried, smarting himself in a matter of seconds. “Do come in darling, do come in!”

The doors slowly opened, and the most beautiful girl entered the room. She was positively burning with flames of auburn hair and had the eyes of pure emeralds. When she crossed the room, she walked with such grace that even the biggest gentleman wouldn’t be able to keep their manners, let alone our poor Lord Eastwood.

“Are you in need of some refreshments, my Lord? Or does your cabinet need some dusting?” she asked swiftly.

“Oh no, darling, nothing of such, just a little company if you don’t mind me asking,” he said with a sparkle in his eyes.

As you have probably guessed by now, miss Lavender worked as a housekeeper. Funnily enough, she had no work experience before, yet the curves of her sleek body looked great in her uniform, and for Lord Eastwood, there was no better reference.

“Oh, but sir, I have so much to do around the house, surely you -”

“Nonsense! The house can wait for a minute or two! Do sit down with me for a moment,” he said, smoothing his lap.

Lavender sighed under her breath and sat on the farthest chair in the room. You see, she was one of the most frequent guests in his cabinet, yet she was proud to say that to this day the only one that kept her skirt on.

Eastwood smacked his lips and started to pace around the room. When he reached the mini bar, he clumsily tipped the glass, so it rolled across the table and went crashing to the floor.

“Oh my,” he exclaimed, “it looks like my cabinet does need some dusting after all! Do make it quick, miss Lavender, dear!”

Hardly able to keep her temper, Lavender stood up and grabbed the sweeper. She barely made a few steps, when a silky voice ringed in her ears.

“Oh, but miss Lavender dear, I think you’ll need to get on your knees. You see, this will be the most ... erm … efficient way.”

Lavender stopped and looked dead into his eyes. There was not a trace of compassion behind them, only a menacing little twinkle. Knowing what was going to happen next, she sighed and dropped to her knees.

Now, unexpectedly, a series of events happened all at once.

As you predicted, Eastwood tried to take his chance, his eyes fixed on Lavender’s buttocks. At the same time, Lavender’s sweeper was flying high towards his forehead and just then, the doors suddenly burst open.

“Tea, my Lord?” came a smooth voice, echoing over the yelps of Lord Eastwood, who just received a well-aimed blow to the head.

“My sincere apologies, sir, am I interrupting?”

Trying to focus his eyes, Eastwood stood up shaking his head.

“Oh, no, not at all Elijah, just a little … accident,” he said with a panting voice, “Did I hear you say tea? Tea would be just grand, thank you!”

Elijah’s eyes fell on Lavender.

“And what would be your business here, miss Lavender? Didn’t I specifically tell you to polish the staircase?”

Lavender, who was still hard on the floor, stood up, fixed her skirt and half skipped towards the doors.

“I’m sorry, mister Brooks, sir, I will attend to it right away!”

As soon as she left the room, she burst into angry tears, quickly walking through the hallway, not even looking in which direction she was going. She paced for quite some time before she finally let herself fall to the floor, silently sobbing into her knees.

“Are you alright?”

A gentle hand reached to her cheek, brushing her tears away. Lavender sobbed.

“I swear to god, Elijah, one day I’ll polish those stairs so hard, his royal ass will slip so graciously he’ll never be able to stand straight again!”

Elijah smiled.

“And I will provide the very polish myself,” he said with a mocking face. “Alas, I’d even go so far as to say that my father tried to use the same tactics once or twice in his career. He hated the old git almost as much as you do.”

You see, Elijah’s father, mister Brooks, was also a butler at the Eastwood estate. He had worked and lived there for more than forty years. At some point, he fell in love with one of the maids and hence, Elijah was born. Sadly she died soon after giving birth, leaving mister Brooks with a newborn baby and a broken heart. Refusing to accept his lover’s fate, mister Brooks never settled with another woman but instead raised Elijah all by himself. And what a good job he did! Elijah was brought up as a true gentleman and in the end, he stood proudly as the only logical replacement for his father when the old age took him.

Being raised on the estate taught Elijah many things. He soon learned that in order to survive, he must play everyone’s favourite game of lies and deception. And being gifted with a remarkable sense for charm, he soon mastered the very foundations of said game. With his chestnut eyes, smooth brown skin and forget-me-not smile, which caused the tiniest dimples to appear on his cheeks, he grew into a man who could easily manipulate just about everyone.

And yet his game fell completely when it came to Lavender. From the first time he ever laid his eyes on her, he was drawn to her. It wasn’t only because of her beauty. There was something … different about her. He wouldn’t admit or even think about being in love. No, he abandoned love long ago. But there was something.

So it was with a beating heart that he ran after her, just as soon as the tea was served. His heart almost skipped a bit when he found her broken on the floor. He knew there would be consequences for whatever happened back in the cabinet. Lord Eastwood did not forgive quickly and his pride was definitely not to be taken lightly. Still, Elijah did not have it in his heart to trouble Lavender with that. Not now.

“Why don’t you take some time off and go to the stables. Alexei will surely put a smile on this gloomy face of yours. And please do stop crying, it’s hardly worth spending tears over the greed of an old man’s delusions.”

He stroked her cheek again and brushed another shiny tear away. Lavender stopped sobbing and raised her head, locking her gaze to the warm darkness of Elijah’s eyes. For quite some time they stood frozen in time, allowing themselves to be caught in the moment, when without warning, Elijah finally broke the silence.

“Go then, try to catch some sun before it sinks back into the night,” he said with a croaky voice.

Lavender, who was still under the influence of the previous moment, took some time before she went back to their old formality.

“Oh yes ... thank you, mister Brooks, sir!”

She stood up and, trying hard not to look back, quickly walked towards the gardens.

It was a fine summer evening, with birds happily chirping in the trees and tiny kittens playing in the last streaks of the sun. Lavender couldn’t help but smile as she walked outside. It felt good to be away from the house. As if all the troubles were left behind. She closed her eyes and breathed in the warm air. A soft smell of horses filled her nostrils and reminded her of Elijah’s advice, so she turned and walked in the direction of the stables.

Even from the distance of a few yards away, she could already hear an unmistakable voice of an irritated Russian.

“What is meaning of dis, Buckley? You are more stupid than horse!”

“Am not! Me mama always said to do it this way!” came an offended voice.

“I am very positive dat she did not say to sveep floor with rakes you imbecile!”

“And why aren’t you two working, may I ask?” cried Lavender, hidden behind the corner.

Alexei and Buckley jumped for at least five inches each, looking around in alarm. Giggling hard, Lavender came into the view.

“Oy! I’ve almost pissed me pants Lady Lavender, don’t you be scarin’ me like that,” said Buckley, who was still shakingly clutching his heart.

“You knov I like you Lavy, but If you do dat again you may find horse shit on your bed, da?”

Lavender giggled again.

“Firstly, I am not a Lady, Buckley, and secondly, do that Alexei and you may find your walnuts crushed, if you know what I mean”.

She paced around the stables and stopped in front of a handsome brown stallion.

“Hello Levi, how are you today?”

Alexei narrowed his eyes, “Oh, I know dis face, what has happened?”

At first glance most people would avoid Alexei. He was tall, robust looking, with a rough shaven head and an angry thick brow. But beneath all those muscles, there was a kind and warm heart that was beating ever so strong for everyone he cared about.

“Nothing of a concern, Alexei, just ordinary problems from the big house,” lied Lavender, trying to sound as casual as possible, still gently stroking Levi’s mane.

Alexei snorted. “You must be almost as stupid as Buckley, to think dat I vill believe you. Nov, be a good lass and tell me, da?”

Buckley, offended once again, tried to open his mouth in protest, but Alexei quieted him down with a meaningful rise of his thick brow.

Lavender kept quiet for a few seconds, still absently stroking Levi, then finally sighed.

“I think I finally did it, Alexei. Crossed the line, you see,” she said, feeling warm tears gathering. “He tried it again, of course he did. I should’ve just run away, as usual, but my temper got the better of me.”

Alexei’s face didn’t even twitch, he just gazed at her with his great grey eyes.

“I hope dat he remembers not to mess with my Lavy again. Dat stupid man. I put horse shit in his bed, da?”

Lavender half giggled, half snorted.

“And who do you think will have to clean his sheets after that, eh silly? I bet I’ll get all the dirty work from now on anyway. At least Olivia will be happy.”

“Ah dat old cow, I spit on her. I bet my left ball sack dat she visited his cabinet more often dat I cleaned my toes.”

He reached with his big hand and patted her on the shoulder.“Do not trouble your mind Lavy, he vill forget sooner or later. Also, I think dat Elijah vill keep dat old cow under control, da?”

With watery eyes, Lavender managed to twist her lips into a soft smile, trying to mouth the words of gratitude, when Buckley suddenly stumbled back into view, carrying what looked like a large steaming kettle.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch,” he cried, putting the kettle on the ground, hurriedly shaking his hands.”

Both Lavender and Alexei looked at him in surprise.

“My dear Buckley, would you be so kind to tell me what is dat you are doing?”

Buckley looked up questionably, still shaking his hands in pain.

“Me mama always said that tea makes everything better. I cooked one to make Lady Lavender smile again, ain’t I?”

This time, Lavender really did manage to put on a smile.

“Da, da, very good. But did she also tell you to lift the boiling kettle with bare hands? You stupid horse!”

“Ah, let him be, Alexei,” giggled Lavender, “thank you, Buckley, you are as sweet as the morning dawn,” she said and gently kissed him on his cheek.

Buckley went as red as beetroot, his balding head shining. He was a plump and short man in his late twenties, with curious eyes and a few missing teeth. He was born and raised on the estate as well, his mother being the nanny who brought up at least three generations, including Lord Eastwood. But even though his mother was one of the brightest women one could meet, Buckley could hardly put together enough brains to be taken seriously. Yet even if sometimes he was “more stupid than horse,” as Alexei would put it, Buckley was one of the most hardworking and purest people you could find.

And for him being kissed by the most beautiful girl on the estate was almost as rewarding as being appointed the new Lord of the house. After that he couldn’t stop giggling no matter how hard Alexei teased him. In fact, Lavender could still hear him being at it all the way to the main house, even though she had left the stables quite some time later, when the sun was already taken by the night.

She had such a wonderful evening that she almost completely forgot about the cabinet and all the nasty business with Lord Eastwood. Yet, the sleep did not come easily. Once she was inside the house, all the memories came hurtling back into her head, as if they were tiny ants, nibbling their way into her brain. She rolled around the bed for some time, when another memory came to mind. A memory of the warm chestnut eyes, which finally took her into a good night’s sleep.

It would have been a very good sleep too, if she hadn’t been harshly awoken by the sound of shrill screams echoing through the house in the early morning.

As it seemed, Olivia was on her way to the cabinet, to do some dusting, you see, but instead of Lord Eastwood, she was rudely greeted by none other than his cold, unmoving corpse.

Nobody knew how it happened, even though everybody had their own theory. In the end, the doctor declared death due to cardiac arrest, and since Lord Eastwood was quite old, the story seemed plausible enough for everyone.

To tell the truth, apart from Olivia, nobody seemed to be too devastated by the news. As it was, everything went on as normal as ever at the estate. Everything except Lady Eastwood, who seemed to be smiling and nodding more enthusiastically than ever.