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I would like to be able to understand people. I wish I could understand why, why I can't just be a normal person. I hate them, I hate them so much because I don't understand them; I envy them, I envy them so much because I don't understand them; why? Why is comfort so easy for them to feel where no one should see it? Why? Why can't I just feel it? I go out into the street, I see the people and each person seems different but everything is harmonious and I don't understand the laughter, I don't understand the murmurs, I don't understand the voices and I don't understand the whispers; I don't understand, I can't understand why what is supposed to be right is wrong, why what is supposed to be wrong is right; I don't understand emotions, reactions, life, ethics, society, people, hope; I am not able to understand why, why everything is like this. I can't understand my skin, my hands; I can't understand their needs, their vitality. Why? Just why? Why am I trapped in this skin, in these bones? Why? Just why? Why doesn't anything work? Why does nothing seem to fit? I'm tired of seeing in the mirror someone I'm not, something I'm not; to see hands that are not mine wrapped in skin that does not belong to me and I simply do not understand why I have to do this every day. I would like to understand humans, understand how they do it, unserstand how. Sometimes I wonder if they simply live in ignorance, if they understand themselves.