why do I love him

“Max, I’m sorry; please come back. You’ve got it all wrong. She’s lying. I swear.” “I don’t want to hear it. Aiden, what I did was bad, but you took your stupid revenge plan to a whole other level. I can’t believe I even fell in love with you. This is so stupid. You made me feel special and loved when my dad left. I just don’t understand why you did that.”

“M-max I’m sorry” “Save it, Aiden; I’m done saying goodbye.”

2 weeks earlier

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

“Yo Aiden, how are you? Are you going to the Halloween party that Allana is hosting?” I don’t know, man; I don’t think she wants me there.”Aiden replies as he tilts his head down. “Alright, well, if you want to come, you can, but I’ll only go if you do.” “You act like I’m the only person you want to be around. Oh, do you like me, Max?” Aiden teases him even though he knows what Aiden is saying is true. However, he doesn’t want to admit it.

Deep down, he likes him but is too afraid to admit it in his defense. He has homophobic parents, and all his friends are straight with girlfriends and boyfriends. He feels like the odd one out, and he can’t help but feel how he feels. His friend Oliver knows that Max likes Aiden, but Max just won’t admit he does.

“I’m messing with you, Max; no need to get shy, haha.” As they walk to class, Max stops abruptly. “You are good, Max. I like you.” “Never mind, let’s just go.” “Max, wait, what’s wrong?” Max starts to feel tears coming on but sniffles them back. “Nothing; let’s just go.” Aiden tugs at Max’s arm. “Max, please tell me what’s wrong. You like who? Is it me?“ What does Max say at a rapid pace? Aiden drops the subject, and they walk to class.

School is eventually over, and both boys go home, both even more puzzled than before. Is this a love story or a sad breakup? Neither of them is aware of what’s going to happen, but both are aware of their feelings toward each other.

Max had finally had enough of his cry. He grabbed Aiden, pulling him into a hug. Aiden is in complete confusion but just lets it happen. Both boys are now asleep. Aiden’s dad, Mark, comes to check on him to find both boys sound asleep. Aiden is in Max’s arms. His dad slowly walks out, and right before he shuts the door, he hears Max call out Aiden’s name, and Aiden’s dad checks again to see if he’s awake. Realizing he’s not, he starts to chuckle and closes the door. Boys these days, he says Later that night, Max and Aiden are talking about homework over the phone, but Max can’t help but wonder if it’s him; he can’t tell if he wants it to be him or not. Does he want it to be? “Max, honey, are you okay?” A voice startles him out of his daydream. “Yeah, sweetheart, go ahead and go back to bed.” “Okay, are you there, Aiden?” Aiden stayed quiet for quite a while. “Are you there?” “Yeah, yeah, I’m here, sorry.” “Hey, dude, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” “Nah, I have a boyfriend, though.” “Wait, you have a boyfriend?” “Yeah?” “Oh cool”.

Later that night, Aiden sits in his room, pondering his breakup.

I’m scared to tell anyone he’s gay or that he likes Max. He doesn’t want to tell Allana why he broke up with her. He feels bad because she looked so hurt when he did it. Allana said she understood, but how could she understand if she didn’t know why he did it? As thoughts race through his mind, he hears a knock at his door. He quickly wipes his tears and quietly says, Come in.

“How are you doing?” His mom said, “I’m doing, and Dad told me about the breakup.” “Did you tell her why?” “Nope, and I don’t intend to anytime soon.” Well, you should. It’s not right to leave her clueless like that.” All of a sudden, there was another knock at his window. The knock startled Aiden and his mom. He looked out the window to see Max knocking. He gave a glance to his mom, waiting for her to leave. As she rolls her eyes, she quietly says, “Next time, tell him to use the door,” with a smirk on her face.

As she shuts the door, Aiden opens the window. Max lets himself ask, “What do you want, Max?” Aiden says with teary eyes, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Max says this as he wipes his tears away. “You won’t get it.” “Try me, “Max says confidently. “There’s this boy I like..” And Max tilts his head in confusion. “Well, he doesn’t know I like him, and I like him and wish we could be together, but.” Aiden stops himself, and as they lay there, both boys realize how close they are; neither of them is fazed. Aiden starts to cry again.

October 19th

Neither one of the boys spoke of the bed incident. Both of the boy’s friends had noticed a slight change in Aiden’s behavior; he wasn’t eating as much, nor would he wear short sleeves. Aiden had a traumatic past, and his friends started to worry about him, especially Max, but after a while, they shook it off, or at least mostly.

6th period came around, which is science for both Max and Aiden, as well as their friend Noah. All three of my friends are partners in a science project. Both Max and Noah ask Aiden if they can do the project at his house. Aiden is hesitant but reluctantly agrees.

Max shows up fifteen minutes earlier than he’s supposed to, and Aiden is confused and asks him what he is doing when Max tells him he wants to talk. Both boys are now in Aiden’s room as Aiden closes his door. Max pins him to it, saying he knows. Aiden lifts his head in confusion. “Get the hell off of me.” Aiden says this as he starts to get what he means and pushes him away, pretending he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “What do you mean?” he says?

Max looks tense. Aiden starts to feel bad for pushing him now. “Listen, Aiden.” A sudden knock on the door interrupts them. Max is still looking at Aiden; his face is red and confused, and his arm starts bleeding. Max is confused, asking

“What happened, Aiden?” Aiden ignores him and walks to the door. Noah walks in and says, “Oh, hey guys, oh? You guys look tense.”

Max rolled his eyes and walked away. “Wow, dude, you’re okay,” Noah said with confusion”. During the whole study session, the boys were tense, especially Aiden.

“Okay, you guys need to tell me what’s going on; you guys are being so stingy!”

“Wait, did y’all sleep together?” “What, no, why would we do that?” “I don’t know because you guys like each other, duh.” “Wait a damn minute, who said this?” Max says, as his face turns red, “Well, you’re not denying it.” Noah says that while messing with the two boys, Aiden starts to get flustered now. “We were not sleeping together,” Aiden says with a not-so-convincing voice. “Ya well, see about that,” Noah says.

“Anyways, are you guys going to Allana’s party?” “I don’t know if she will want me there.” Aiden says Max quickly agrees with Aiden’s statement. “Well, you guys should, plus Aiden, you haven’t drunk in quite some time. You should come and have some fun. I don’t think Allana would mind.” “I’ll think about it, dude.” Max was tense for the rest of the study session and couldn’t get the thought of losing Aiden out of his head. “Max, hello? Are you paying attention?” “Oh yeah, sorry,” he said quickly. “Oh well, I’m going to go,” Max says.

“Bye boys, have a good night. I can’t wait to present our project tomorrow.” “Yeah, yeah, whatever, get out.” “I’m going to leave.” “Max Wait, I’m sorry, I relapsed. I didn’t want to, but I’d, and you were right. I have a confession, so please just let me speak.” “Aiden,” Max says it with a pitiful look, then something inside of him snaps with realization. “Wait, you relapsed?” “Yeah, I did.” “Aiden, you were doing so well. Just why, Aiden? What the hell, dude? You promised Jesus, Adian.”

Aiden’s eyes start to tear up. “Wait, are you seriously mad at me? I’ve been trying so hard.” Aiden starts to get worked up now, and as tears rush down his cheeks, he starts to shout. “After everything I’ve been through since you promised you’d be there for me—not to yell and not argue—you’re still doing it. I’m trying my best, and you’re just making things worse. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I should’ve kept it to myself.”

You’re not even 5 minutes into the conversation, and you already have that stupid expression on your face: “Aiden, you know that’s not fair.” “What’s not fair is that I came to you like you asked me to, and you’re getting mad again.” “You need fucking therapy.” “Ok, you know what, Aiden? I’m sick and tired of you using me as your personal dummy and coming to me with everything. I didn’t want you to, but I felt bad for you, so I told you to.” Aiden’s eyes widened, with tears running fast down his face as if they were racing.

“Aiden I’m sorry. ” “Save it, Max. Get the hell out of my house.” “Aiden, please, I’ll do better. Please, I take it all back. Don’t do this.” “Better? You do better, yeah, right, leave mad; just go before you make things worse.” “Aiden I’m not leaving you again.” “Well, that’s ironic, isn’t it? You say that, but we both know that you never cared.” Aiden screams as he steps toward Max. “Aiden, you are bleeding.” Max says with concern. “I’m fine. Stop acting like you care, Max; you don’t.”

“Aiden You want to see, not care. Fine. I won’t care, but don’t say I tried to resolve this mess. I care for you deeply, and you just let anyone love you. You have an issue you need to resolve before we can be friends, dude. I love you; I do, but you’re making it hard for me.” Max is now sobbing just as much as Aiden. Aiden drops to the floor, and in a panic, Max drops with him.

Aiden breathed. “OK, sorry, it’s ok.” Max tried calming Aiden down, but Aiden just got even more irritated. “Leave, Max. I hate you. I’ve tried too hard, and when I found out you had a boyfriend, I collapsed. I can’t anymore. I just can’t.”

“Wait, why are you bringing Matt into this?” Because I’m done with this conversation,” Aiden says in between gasps of air. “Aiden, look at me.”

“What else do you want from me? ” “I want you to look at me.” “Fine.” “Listen, Aiden. I love you, but you need to compromise with me. You are my best friend, and I want to grow old with you.” Max chuckles, saying, “I know that’s cringy to say, but it’s true, dude, I want what’s best for you.”

“Max.” “Yeah?” “Get out, please.” “You know what Aiden is fine with if you don’t want help.”

“I will leave, but I’m here if you need me.” Whatever. As Max leaves, Aiden heads up to his room, still sobbing and bleeding. while Max is walking home, sobbing still, as well as walking down the road, as it starts to get darker and eventually

It starts to rain. Max, walking home in the rain, sees a flash of light. A car, maybe? He thinks, but before he can give it a second thought, it all goes black.

A distant voice is heard in the distance. “Help someone. Hold on, Max. Hold on, please. Max. Don’t leave me. I love you. Please don’t leave me.” Max is still barely conscious when, in the distance, he hears another voice, a male voice: “We have a 16-year-old Caucasian male with trauma to the head; we need an ambulance.”

Sirens wailing, Max still in and out of consciousness, Aiden sitting in the ambulance, crying like a baby all of a sudden.

“Beep,” “he’s flatlining; we need to start compressions; someone helps.; we need another person back here.” Aiden is now freaking out. “Wait what, please, Max? Don’t be dead, please, Max. I love you.” “Sir, we need you to let go of him, please.” “He’s got no pulse, starting with CPpersonal. Ok, we got a pulse.” Aiden was still sobbing as he started to calm down, but he still had the thought of him dying in his head. What if he killed him? What if he has permanent damage? what if? *Where here*... “Okay, we got a 16-year-old Caucasian boy hit by a car. We have a weak pulse and some lacerations around his legs and torso. We have a minor one to the forehead, and that’s it.” “Okay, let’s get the O.R. prepped.”

“Move I’m on my count of one, two, and three.” “Ahh, sh*t that hurts.” Omg, omg, I can’t believe this is happening...