Chapter 1
Trigger Warning: This story contains graphic depictions of child abuse, sexual assault, and violence. Reader discretion is advised. If you have experienced trauma related to these topics, please be aware that this content may be distressing. Please understand that this is not meant to hurt anyone, it is more to try and give light and a voice to those who have endured something simular. It does get better.
Will I wake up to silence today or will it be another day of indiscriminate fear? I continue to wait for the inevitable loathing from the devils dark asylum. Another few minutes pass and still nothing happens. I decide to get and see the devils grand plan for the day.
Walking down the decrepit stairway it became more and more clear that doom laid not at the beginning of my day but at the end of the day. This is how it always goes, my day starts out great but by the end of the day its terrible, gone to shit. I walk cautiously to the living room and with my heart beating louder and louder with each step. As I round the corner and look into the small unkempt room, the smell that hit my nostrils was a powerful but familiar smell.
There upon the couch was the devil of my fears and his malevolent mistress asleep upon the floor. My parents, who I adequately describe, are snoring away all the while surrounded by the toxic sludge they overly indulge in. The toxic mix is an assortment of items; there are needles used and new, (but who could really tell) baggies of heroin and meth. These are what the smell was. It smelled heavily of a mixture of sweet, chemical, and metal. Around the multitudinous array of drugs you can also find many bottles of whiskey empty of its drunken contents.
I slowly and quietly walk away because I know if I awoke them the devils wrath will come to play. I went up to my poor excuse of a room and get dressed in what clean clothes I could find and head out to meet my bus for my last year of middle school.
As I sat on my half empty bus it drove past my house, I could hear the laughter from the freshmen and their grotesque jokes about everyone on the bus. I wondered if they knew I lived there. As the bus drove away from my home I thought about its decaying structure and I felt ashamed to have to call it a home. I could only sit there and just keep staring out my window watching all the beautiful homes and families go by. Eventually the bus pulled up to the school and everyone got off one by one, and each one of us went inside for another eight hour long day of learning. I made my way to my first class, I sat down and waited. My first class came and went, it was really a small History class so it went by uneventful. The next class was my favorite, Art class, now I enjoyed this class but my problems always start here. I sat down at my easel and I work on one of my paintings. It is of a home next to a grassland with horses running freely. I went into the paint room to get more green paint, completely unaware that I was followed. I heard the door shut and lock behind me, all the while the light turned off. The darkness swallowed me like a whale eating krill. Hands, hands were everywhere touching, groping, and tearing clothes off.
Pain, fear, and panic consumed me and all I wanted to do was scream but found that I couldn’t because my mouth was covered hard by an unknown hand while another gripped my throat squeezing. It felt like hours being held to the ground and with every thrust the pain became more and more extreme, over and over it went new bodies joining in the fun till finally with a rough trust the final person finished by sending a cool substance drop onto my body. I had squeezed my eyes shut and heard the door shut again, I waited for more but silence only greeted me like and old friend. I waited a few more minutes before I gathered myself and could properly stand up. The pain was excruciating and I could hardly walk an inch. I found the light switch and turned it on. I found my clothes torn but still wearable but I also found many condemns and a note next to them.
A slut like you doesn’t need to give consent. We decided that your not worth a dime to anyone so we could do what we pleased. Hell the teacher didn’t even give a damn about you. also bitch we wouldn’t want any diseases from your poor ugly ass.
I don’t know how long I stood there reliving every minute of it until the Art teacher came in to get me. I always thought he was a good person but that was only a mask he wore. He came in and laughed at my pitiful state but all the while sent me to the office for trying to have sex with another student. I walked down the hallway with the S.R.O. officer and didn’t realize I had grabbed the note and stuck it in my pocket. Of course when I got to the office the principle didn’t believe me when I tried to tell her what happened. She simply said that none of the boys in that class room would do such an atrocious misdeed but I definitely would do what I was sent their for. Like mother like daughter she said, the Art teacher wouldn’t lie to her about anything and he definitely wouldn’t touch such an disingenuous student like my self. To make matters worse the school had called my father and told him what had happened and was sent home.
As soon as I got home and walked through the door all I seen was my fathers fist and everything went black. I woke up in my bed naked and my father next to me waiting. ” So you want to sleep around like a hoe,” he sneered angerly, “then fine I’ll treat you like a hoe then.” I tried to get up and pled with him and tell my side of things but found my arms were tied to the bed along with my legs. My legs were tied to the bed so that they were open with perfect view of my damaged core. I looked over to plead once more with my father but he was undressing and to my horror not only did he climb on top of me he shoved his hardened appendage in me. I tried not to scream but I couldn’t after the damage from earlier, I couldn’t hold it in and I screamed and screamed. He wouldn’t stop and the more I screamed and pleaded for him to stop he trusted harder and harder till you could hear him slamming it in from down the hallway. When he had finally finished he got off me and dressed himself but before he left he turned around and told me that this was so I wouldn’t carry any children in this world, he smashed his fists into my uterus a few times till I was barley conscious. He left me their not even caring to untie me and I drifted off to a cold and pitiful sleep. I felt hands touching me again and I slowly opened my eyes to find my mother putting clothing on me. She didn’t say a word to me and simply left a bowl of soup and walked out. I ate the soup quickly and fell back asleep soon after.
