IS THIS A GOODBYE
I was moved to the edge of emotion as I watched Jimmy crumble into a pulp on the floor. That transported me to the hospital where I woke up to find my father on the floor.
But unlike my father who sunk onto the floor in overwhelming joy, Jimmy was in despair. That broke my heart into many unamendable pieces. Just as seeing him helplessly coiled up in the bed and crying deep into many otherwise lonely nights but for my presence.
"Thank goodness your program has run to a fold because I 'can't see you going through this sapped as you are," I muttered as I helped force him out of the bed and into the bathroom, one of the days.
As the days became weeks, Jimmy became more despondent and couldn't do anything for himself. I would prepare him for sleep and leave for my apartment after he had slept. But when I returned the next morning, he would still be in bed, the exact way I left him.
That made me panic greatly. So, it became necessary that I moved him to my apartment at the opposite wing since he wouldn't let me outsource his care.
"It scares the living daylight out of me to see you this way. Why would you not want some professional care, do you have a death wish?
"Isn't it better for one to die a fool than for he to live as one?"
Although he maneuvered an evasive distancing of himself from the ignoble tag, 'fool' with the use of a third-person pronoun, it was still bad enough to fan a weak flame of anger up down my belly.
“All of these were no fault of his but I needed to hear it. Impatiently, I urged him on, ignoring my feelings.
Hey...! Where's that coming from?" I managed amidst a disapproving scowl I wore. I forced a grip on myself, leaned forward, and took his hand in mine posing a cool exterior so I could get it all out of him.
"The death of my father now means I have to abandon the initial hope of a miracle of finding my mother that I have held onto for many years. It is as good as saying that life has ended for me." That, again, rang in my head like a tingling of the bell.
"It's far from that, I think you magnify the situation here...but keep it coming.
What makes it that bad?"
"You should already know that we are broke when you look around you. My mother didn't just walk she tricked my father and got away with our lives - all that my father labored for his entire life through a divorce, except this block of house desperately begging for scouring.
My father was broke for so many years but on the contrary, my mother has been rumored to live large off his sweat. He would later develop multiple health complications and only made it this far on donated drugs.
I wanted to go to Mexico in search of her the first time my father had a heart failure, perhaps she might show empathy and loan us some money from her largess, but I won't be released from school.
Therefore, I postponed in the hope I would find her faster leveraging the advantage of my office when I graduate.
Great, I just graduated but it has all just ended too," he submitted in a tone carrying deep despair.
"Hmmm...So, you must have gone to school on scholarship, then," I chipped in.
"No, I used what I had to get what I wanted. I fought on the street as a mixed-martial artist and got paid. That way, I paid my tuition and lived on the rest," he deposited with a note of finality.
"Most times, life could be like the seat belt, it hooks when you pull it forcefully. Today is the perfect day that I thought we should go ahead to sail our ship to positivity. Still wanna go on a voyage with me, huh? I tailed off flashing him a bewitching smile as I pulled him into my bosom.
We entangled, lacing our hands synchronically around each other, snuggling till sleep. That appeared to have done some magic. He rejuvenated at a good pace. Small smiles were beginning to grease his lips more frequently. It made me happy and I fell deeper for him.
I had questioned my rationale for having him in my apartment and even caught myself being afraid given the unrelenting agitation of my hormones whenever he was close to me, but something strange happened.
It was not until some incredible events of the next several months started unfolding that I was able to deduce why the sensual pull I used to have for him receded controllably to a chaste but deep affection.
Meanwhile, in the third week of Mr. Hanson's demise, my father decided it was time to come home - there was something very important that he needed me to attend to.
I jittered internally when he first mentioned it. It was not just because Jimmy had not felt whole; the fact that he had started showing faint signs of recuperating, although far from being his old self was more than enough for me, but because I could barely live a day without him and I wasn't ready to answer the question, 'is this a goodbye?'
In the following week, I was dropped off at the airport en route to Caritas by a taxi. Jimmy tried but failed to deal with the reality of my departure. He wailed unashamedly loud and broke completely down when I picked up my luggage.
Driving in such a state of mind was not in our interest, therefore, I overruled his initial plan of dropping me off and booked a taxi that severed us painfully apart while he was still in tears.
The trip recorded the most horrible 14 hours of flight in my experience. My heart was on fire oscillating between the two most important men in my life who appeared to need me equally at the same time.
The urgency in my father's voice was as scary as the dim thought that tripled in to suggest I may not see Jimmy again.
"What if my father is sick and dying too?" I shuddered and cursed out audibly at whatever was responsible for such thought and appended a silent prayer to douse it.
"There can be anything else as cruel as losing one's only parent." I entertained. I mean, wasn't that what ground the man my heart beat for into a pulp before my eyes?
My father was at the airfield where he joyfully resumed his duty to me, driving me home. As always, we talked about many things and everything and tried to leave nothing out although we failed.
However, we would continue later in the night from where we stopped earlier. Then, he disclosed that he wanted me to take over the family business immediately as he was beginning to feel his strength fizzling out easily in the recent past.
"Ideally, Lyon your eldest sibling is supposed to take my place but he disinterestedly communicated his unwillingness as he said to be way deep into building his name that he can't abandon it.
What was worse than that was that I asked Martha to do the same I asked your brother to do and she said she doesn't consider the stress I go through as worth all the money in the universe. She also declined the offer!"
"Honestly, Dad, she was right. You have worked so hard all these years and I feel you need to live a little.
"But I live," he said grinning faintly.
"Yeah, but a bit too quietly”
"You say that like it's a bad thing. I am sixty-five, not twenty-five. Anyway, how about a visit to Mexico on the weekend? He proposed halfway out of my room.
