PROLOGUE
" I was surrounded by storm and you took my only umbrella away "
...
I stood at the edge of the cliff as the gentle wind brushed through my face, cuts peppered, making a sting feeling on my face, my feet didn't care about me as they tried their best to make me fall and all I did was whisper back
Just a minute more.
I watched the hills which stood enduring the sting while I barely managed to keep myself steady and maybe I didn't want myself steady.
Hills endured the wind and that that would dare its way, limitless, brave and proud.
the fire roared louder and higher than it ever did, on the car stuck to a tree.upturned. I could see a girl, whimpering, hands shaking and unable to fully get hold of the tree. Her hands red of her own blood stained the tree and the grass, she crawled herself away from the car, her feet kicking as if she was trying to swim on the cold ground that didn't respond to her, she had her all body shaking.
I Looked at her face and her eyes were closed, her shivering hands taking it to her face.
a coward. I made a sound though she was in her own little world which was perfect for her till then.
Her face dark of smoke, her clothes torn and shredded and her hair just as tangled as her mind, her clothes torn as she keeps trying to get away but can she really? I can see she was giving up as her lungs calmed a little and her body didn't care to survive just for some rest, I can see she was not even fighting for it and that angered me.
I did not care to help, nor will I be able to and I knew that, so I just watched. Not the girl but the hills,
they too didn't care, neither did the tree nor the leaves, the wind even aided to her misery.
If nature doesn't want to help... why should I ?
They just laid watching it like a movie as if it never happens, their immortal lives had never held so much fun, as their immortal lives were always going but never ending
My eyes shifted to the poor fellow, crushed under the weight of the car, he had done nothing wrong but to do his work.
His face was hanging, his body didn't have his original form rather he was covered in burns. I wonder if he is alive, I hope not.
I could see her figure slowly pushed herself to the tree as if she had found new found strength and she looked up
I could feel a laugh coming up in me and a question
" want me to cheer? "
She looked down, defeated. The more she tried to keep herself contained, more blood rushed out of her.
She looked around, her graze alerted from one tree to another and then another. She knew better to scream.
She had no one and she was a no one
.
In that moment I knew that It didn't matter to be steady anymore, what I wanted to watch was over and so was my last breath, as I saw myself struggling near the car, I pushed myself off the cliff.
Misery never ends, it just becomes dull.
.....
" marry me "
" in your dreams "
With that the girl was chasing the boy who had just rejected her. The halls of mansion suddenly too narrow to fit just 2 children, running with laughter just coming out and they knew no value of it as if it was free to give and take.
The workers of the mansion, looked at the children and a smile appears on their face as they dodged and ducked them all around the mansion. The worker following them just to see and keep them in their minds for days to come.
" if you don't...then.."
They have run so far that they were at the garden. The girl came to a pause, trying to catch as she laughed even louder trying to scare the naughty boy who didn't seem to have lost energy and stood in front of her, who smiled and provoked her further just to see her erupt giggle.
"then...?"
"then I will throw you out " she put her hands on her mouth as if this were a secret told between lovers.
the mud touched their feet as the she giggled a little more but she saw no response to giggles and jokes but a silent boy with no smiles on his face, this made her loose her smile and her hands fell from her face to the hem of her skirt.
" not if I catch you first " he spoke with his hands suddenly out and ready to tickle her, his face put into a beautiful smile as she returned the mood and ran.
This time she was in front and he was running just to catch her.
The garden filled of them and their memories as they ran all over it, their feet muddied and the clothes on the verge of fully becoming brown. When he finally caught her. And so he tickled her
unmercifully, till her laughter was all that was left in her.
But now all she could hear was barking.
the dog were crazy. She could hear their bark grow louder as she stood their muddied, he wasn't their now. And she was scared. The dogs might catch her.
She looked with her haze all over. It went from one tree to another to yet another as the barking was all
that left of her. She was running now, the laughter suddenly too thick to come out of her, as she stumbled around someone and darkness had her about its finger.
-
I was there again. Right in front of those eyes.
the pungent smell of whiskey and vomit surrounded me, as I passed the empty bottle of liquor, cigarette buds thrown with no pattern and a body of someone I barely knew.
My mother.
The great women who married the son of a gang lord who had his business failing, just for the love. they fought for each other to their family and promised love under the starry night.
She laid their and the white powder, set in stripes on the table next to her laid just as still. At that time I didn't know what it was and when my mother offered them to me with a smile to her face and a
bottle of wine in one hands.
I remembered when she smashed the bottle once when I was 9.The bottle came flushing in just next to me and I knew she didn't miss.
On one of those night, my father has refused to come home. Her body as if a noodle and her legs didn't answer to her as she stumbled upon a kitchen counter She had prepared a glass with a sly look
on her face. I don't know how she managed to flow herself to the sofa and sit but she did.
She pushed the glass the down, slamming it as I feared it might break like the last one.
she poured herself a glass. As I sat, starved not for food but for something I knew she would never give me. she eyed me and a soft smile appeared and by all these dreams, i knew she meant no good because her smile was simply to sweet, too beautiful...too dangerous.
She was beautiful of course because people called her a wallflower and she knew it. She did her work as a wallflower maybe better than how my father did his work.
She looked at me and ordered me to get a glass, and when I did she simply poured it into the glass.
she pushed it towards me, her eyes were always on me and she looked at me And just said drink.
I had always saw myself question of the liquid she would gulp down as soon as it came in front of her. I finally had been asked to do something by my mother and so I got it to my lips and I looked at my
mom as she was staring. I could smell the burning smell and i knew the taste would follow its smell and so I looked at her once again and shook my head.
Maybe I could hear her
'one work and she can't do it' and I feared she would say it.
I was happy to not have shook my head hard enough to move from my seat.
As the bottle landed on the wall opposite to her.
At least she didn't say what I feared she would
here she was-
Her mouth was left open, as if it were open just for me to get a lesson. The white foam flowing through her mouth as her eyes were fixed on nothing else but me, even when I moved I knew it followed me. Her dress was barely on her as I went towards her and got the liquor bottle, I knew she loved it, she even told me it was medicine once and I felt proud that I had come up with such a clever solution.
Mother will be very happy. And that is what I wanted.
I touched her fore head and nothing was felt as the body lay, cold and death, her hands now had free will as they spread on the sofa.
My father was coming and I love to do something each time I see him here, each time I look into his wide eyes face, with an open mouth and a closing heart as he lay next to her for just a second before
they took her away.
Oh I have seen it so many times and still l never get bored.
I didn't close her eyes, I wanted to but I felt her flesh stink and I didn't want the stench, her smell was unbearable for me in those day when I was only 10.I didn't want any part of her on me.
Father would come any moment, I was waiting like I always have. And could see clock return its position when finally he came in.
with a lover.
The darkness has consumed me again and I was under its control, I wanted it to grant me just a litte bit of warmth. Did I ask for too much? I love to question myself but no answer wanted to show itself.
The darkness was her cage and her armour. I needed it, every second of a working day. I was never going to get out of this and I knew it but still I hoped to one day hope for a day when I could see the nature and it's breath would be recognised by me
But before it's breath can even take place, i was yet again back at the face of my mother.
She laid harmless. No wish originating from her. She was dragged away by people she would rather never know.
I turned to the hard cold door just next to me as if asking for me to open it.
And so i did.
Because i was my mother's obedient little girl.
But i couldn't, only muffed voice of my father, i knew he was yelling and maybe I wanted to just be the precious daughter to him.
I learned new words, i never understood them but i knew better than to use them. I waited for him to tell me about it but a cat doesn't teach a lion to climb. And so the doors never opened.
And i learned to live with one less room for me to venture.
I laid flat on the cold harsh surface of the Azael mansion. I knew my father was screaming, pacing everywhere as his body couldn't contain the anxiety and I just wanted to do what my mother would.
so i waited.
And waited
And waited
But till when?
Another question that was left blank
Finally, at the end of the long dark journey i was met with the same pair of warm hands.
Telling me to catch him.
To get him.
So i stood up again.
But this time I was at the bottom of the cliff with hyenas staring right at me.tart writing here…
