Memories of her

Memories of her

Chapter 1:

I was strumming the strings of my guitar but I could feel that something was wrong. I couldn't feel the music, on realizing that, I gave out a quick but frustrated sigh. I started humming while trying to feel the music inside my body and moreover, inside my heart. Unfortunately, I couldn't feel anything. I've always thought that creating music was easy but clearly, it's not. My fingers were wrapped around the pick and I kept my wrists loose. I tried moving my hand up and down again, touching the strings. Maybe I don't have it in me? Maybe my family is right about me and my music being trash. I got up from the chair, I was sitting on and placed my guitar over my shoulder. I walked out of the room, only to see both of my parents on the dining table, talking to each other. I needed to get out of here and I headed straight to the door. I practically rushed but before I could unlock the door, I heard a voice calling out to me. It was my mom. I didn't have a choice but to go and face their words of disappointment. I bet she's going to tell me to focus on my studies more than my music. Why? Because even they know that I suck at it.

I walked to the dining table and looked at both of them. My dad's eyes detected my guitar and his eyes told me to throw it away. My eyes though, swiftly shifted to my mom's hand and I can imagine her murdering my guitar with the knife that she's holding to cut some apples.

"You know, you should keep that guitar away for a while and take your books." She said in a modulated voice. I knew it! I knew she was going to say this. I looked over to my dad, who was looking at my mom.

"I'm going to go out for a while," I said with arrogance in both, my eyes and my voice. I started moving my legs to the door again and I heard my mom call out my name again but I didn't care about that anymore. I needed to get out of here. I unlocked the door and stepped out of the house. With that move that I had just made, I practically invited death.

While rushing out, I spotted my elder sister, Ava with a boy, who was about her height. He had long hair and that's when I was confused between him and my sister. I couldn't decide who had longer hair. She waved bye to him and was now walking to me but I'm pretty sure that she didn't realize that she was digging her own grave as I started walking towards her faster.

"Hey, who's that boy?" I asked before she finally looked at me and took a break from touching her hair and blushing like a tomato. She was startled, because I'm pretty sure that she was not expecting me, but me being me. I'm here.

"N-no one." She said but she didn't look at me. She started walking to the door again and told me to mind my own business.

"Yeah, but that's not fun!" I yelled so that my voice could reach her. When my voice finally reached there, she flipped me the bird and smiled in a very sarcastic way. How do I know that it was a very sarcastic smile? It's a hidden talent that very few pretty people have, like me.

I started walking again. I knew the exact place. That one place, where everything felt so simple, so easy and peaceful. But, before that, I had to go meet my friends who were blowing up my phone. I walked to the park, where we usually meet because we've been doing that since we were children. It's like I have always known them. But I was never the center of attention. I've never really liked being the center of attention nor have I ever experienced it. I saw my friends from a distance and waved at them. They waved right back at me but sighed before looking at my guitar.

"What is it now?" I asked them but they didn't say anything and just stared at my guitar, which was over my shoulder. I looked at them without any facial expression, like I was a dead man. All four of us- Me, Grace, Oliver, and Penny, sat on chairs, we had arranged in a circle.

They didn't talk about me and my guitar anymore, we were just bitching about the teachers of our school and how they have made our lives, theirs. It's like... It's not even our life anymore. According to them, life is supposed to be easy, and by easy they mean, school at 16 and then college at 18, before getting a job at 25 and then marriage. If that's what life is, then I am the world's richest person. We spoke briefly and it was nice before we started talking about Grace's boyfriend, who none of us liked. He was into drinking and smoking but apparently, Grace was into bad boys. I couldn't stand or in my case, sit this bullshit anymore. I told them I had to go home early but I knew where I wanted to go.

Before I even realized, I was there. I sat on top of the city, on a cliff. I could see the whole city. I noticed the beautiful sunset, while strumming the strings of my guitar again. I looked at the sky and saw how it was bluish-back in color, with a pinch of orange. Maybe, we all could relate to it. The bluish-black part of the sky represents depression, that has taken over most of us but that's when that pinch of orange comes in. That pinch of orange represents hope. Even though we're lost and depressed, there is always hope of becoming better. There is always hope of becoming a better version of yourself. I believe that you can only do that by being yourself.

Well, I couldn't get the tune right. Plus, I was exhausted. Of course, it must be exhausting being this pretty. I started walking home after a while as I looked at the moon and then back at my feet. Why can't I do it? What's wrong with me, huh?

I reached home and sneaked into my room very quietly so that no one would throw another argument at me. My eyes shifted to the dining table. My elder brother and my sister were sitting there, maybe my mom was in her room and my dad would come back later from work. Yes, I'm the middle child in my family. After all, maybe that's why they think I'm useless and can do absolutely nothing but degrade their name. My dad's a lawyer and well, my mom doesn't work anymore. She doesn't need to do anything. We're kind of rich but that doesn't affect me. My brother, John, who is about 4 years older than me, aspires to become a lawyer like my dad and my sister wants to become a doctor. So, that makes me the useless one. Why? Because according to them, I don't have any aim in life. Neither do I have a dream but that's what they don't get.

I do have a dream. A big one. I want to become a rockstar. I want to create music that will create history. I want to prove that everyone is wrong about me and one day, I will and when I do, I'll never look back. It'll be me and only me. Everything I will create and acquire will be mine. I believe that music is amazing. I mean, who doesn't believe that? It makes us feel different things. It makes us happy. It makes ME happy and that's what I want to do. I want to make music that will make me happy. I want to be happy and no one will ever snatch that from me. EVER.

It's not that my parents are wrong, they're just different. Not everyone's wrong, they're just different.

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