Inamorata

Mila -

I could barely breath, even as I stumbled outside and down the front steps into the fresh afternoon air.

Dropping down onto the grass, I suck in the air around me and try to calm my anxiety.

I don’t know what I’m doing…

My mind flood’s with everything that has changed for me since Cassiel got me out of here a month ago, everything was just so different now and that didn’t seem like it would be changing anytime soon. I had never been more grateful for everything they all had done for me but I was not born for this, this life they had, full of riches and freedom. I was still trying to get my head around it all.

What would it mean if I accepted them all? What would it do to me or them? How was I supposed to live now if we did this? Would I live here? In their lavish palace… was this even what I wanted?

I didn’t even know how it was done and that was probably something that they should have warned me about before I accidentally bit Xade. Blowing out a breath, I flop back onto the grass and just stare up at the sky.

“Mila.” Cassiel’s gentle voice caresses me softly like it always does and I sigh with sweet relief.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble as he comes into view and sits down beside me on the grass.

“Don’t be sorry baby. It’s not your fault. We understand it’s a lot to take on and think about.”

“Thank you…” I sigh. Offering me a small smile he hold’s out his arm as he lies back onto the grass and I curl myself against his side. Smoothing a hand up and down my spine, he knows just how to calm and center me. “It is a lot Cass…” I whisper and feel him nod.

“I know baby.” He sigh’s and squeezes me a little.

“What would it do to us?” I ask after a few moments pass, just needing my question’s answered for my own sanity and he stills for a moment. “All of us…” I add quietly.

“I don’t know exactly… from what we’ve seen and heard… it’s a very intimate experience and it would be one that each of us would go through with you, one by one. But… it will bond each of us to you, permanently, deeper than anything you could ever fathom… and it would do the same for you to each of us.” He’s quiet a moment as his free hand smoothes up my stomach and ribs, tickling over my breast and pressing above my heart. “We would feel you… wherever you are, we would be with you, right here.” He whisper’s quietly.

“How?” I whisper back both afraid of his answer but craving it.

“We mate with you… and we have to bite you too.”

I shiver at his word’s. It scares me but excitement travels straight down my spine and I shift a little against him.

“So we have sex?” I ask quietly and he chuckle’s.

“Yes… it would be a little different than the other time’s but everything would be fine.” He reassures me and I nod while chewing at my lip. “It’s a kind of ceremony that we do but if it’s done, it would never go back.”

“So…?”

“So none of us could ever leave, Mila… but neither could you…”

“So I’d be stuck with you?” I tease as a smile pulls at my lips and he chuckle’s.

“Unfortunately.” He jokes back and I playfully jab him in the rib’s. A moment of comfortable silence passes between us before he speaks. “Mila?” Popping two fingers under my chin, he lifts my face from his chest to look at him.

“Yes?” I whisper.

“I am unequivocally, wholly and so blindly… in love with you.” He whisper’s, his warm, welcoming gaze, instantly melting me. “From the moment I first saw you… I knew that would never change so no matter what you decide, I will always love you.”

My eyes water and his face blur’s a little but it flood’s me with warmth.

“Cass…” I whisper and feel his eyes on me. “I- I think I love you too…” I croak a little. His hand lifts to me cheek and swipe’s away my running tear’s as he pulls my face gently to his and kissing me with soft, warm passion.

“Just promise me one thing?” He whisper’s breathlessly when he draws back and I nod. “You’ll take as long as you need to think, Xade will be fine as will we all.”

“I promise.” I whisper and smile up at him.

Lifting his hand and tucking my hair behind my ear he smiles brighter.

“So unbelievably beautiful.” He sigh’s contently and makes me flush. “Come back inside and let’s get you fed.”

“Sooo… how’s this going to work?” I chuckle as I look at them all standing at the foot of the bed but Xade is nearest to me, anxiously awaiting my order’s.

“I’ll take the couch.” Atlas say’s quietly and backs away from his brother’s and walk’s over to the chesterfield, dropping his body onto it and tucking an arm behind his head as he stares at the ceiling.

“Xade’s going to have to be next to you.” Cass hums and Xade’s gaze lights up as he looks at me hopefully.

I snort out a laugh and nod as he dashes to my side and leaps onto the bed, wrapping himself around me quickly.

The surprise on his brother’s faces as well as my own is still something I’m trying to get my head around.

Cass smile’s at me hopefully as they all do at who can claim my other side.

Orion roll’s his eyes and waits for no one as he comes up the bed and drags the pillows out from behind my head and replaces them with his warm body, pulling me back down to rest my head against his stomach while stroking my hair. Ezra nudges Cassiel who comes up to my free side with a grin as Ezra climb’s onto the bed and curl’s himself around my leg’s and rests his head on my mons. Cass carefully fit’s himself at my free side and drapes his hand across my stomach.

“So beautiful.” He whisper’s into my neck and presses a soft kiss there that makes me smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I whisper back as he sigh’s and their limb’s get heavy around me as they all start to drop.

My eyes search across the room and land on a lonely looking Atlas.

I hate that he has to be away from me and over there alone…

I don’t like it… I wish thing’s weren’t like this for him…

An idea pop’s into my mind and my brow crease’s as I chew on my lip and think it over…

I wonder…?