Prologue
“You’re helping in the kitchens tonight.”
“What?” Clara swung around, facing her mom with wide eyes. “Mom, no! I want to go out with Lucy tonight!” She knew her tone was too exasperated, too irritated, and as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could suck them back in but going off the flush in her mother’s cheeks, that wasn’t going to happen.
Her mom was frozen in the kitchen, holding two mugs in her hands, in the middle of making hot chocolates for them both for their Friday night movie tradition. “I’m sorry, did you actually ask me if you could go out with Lucy? Because I must’ve forgotten that conversation.”
“Well... no...” Clara threw herself back onto the couch, her arms crossed petulantly across her chest. The battle was already lost, no matter what she said now. Didn’t mean she wouldn’t try, though. “I was gonna ask, just after the movie was finished. Lucy desperately needs some girl time and I know you want me to keep being the awesome, supportive friend that I am.”
She could hear the eye roll from across the room. “Jesus, darling, lay it on a bit thicker, would you?” There was a pause and Clara huffed, annoyed that she’d come down for the movie in the first place. There was nothing wrong with kitchen duty and most days, she didn’t mind it but not tonight. “I thought you’d enjoy it. You’re becoming such a good baker.” There was a succinct pause before she continued, “Plus the worst thing that could happen is you might lose a finger. Or two.”
Now it was Clara’s turn to roll her eyes. She was an only child so well accustomed to the protectiveness of both her parents but if she gave them even an inch, they’d both wrap her in cotton wool and never let her leave the den. “Mom, I absolutely suck at cooking and you know it. I always add too much spice or not enough or forget ingredients altogether. Henry was complaining the other day that I was the only person he knew that could actually burn water.”
“You burnt water?” She echoed as she walked into the lounge, carrying two steaming mugs and one eyebrow arched in question. “How do you bur–?”
Clara cut her off with a huff. “I was just boiling water for pasta!” She looked away from the amused smirk curling her mom’s lips up, fighting off her own smile. “I kind of, maybe, forgot about it... and then the water boiled dry and the pot just, y’know, began smoking.”
Her mom sucked her lips between her teeth, her eyes twinkling as she set their drinks down on the coffee table before taking the seat next to Clara. “That does sound like something you’d do.” She reached over, smoothing a hand down Clara’s head, smoothing any fly-away hairs. “I just want you to be confident in your role within the pack. I know it’s hard for you sometimes, but setting yourself up this early will mean you always have a place and one where you won’t get hurt. There must be something else you’re interested in right now, that doesn’t involve leaving or transferring when you’re of age.”
“I told you already, Dad’s been teaching me–”
“Now, you know how I feel about that techy stuff,” Her mom interrupted, staring at Clara hard. “It has its place but it can’t be the only thing you do. It’s not the only thing Dad does, either.” She reminded Clara pointedly.
Clara sighed, bringing her heels up onto the couch so she could hug her knees. “Why’re we talking about this now? I’m only seventeen, I have time.” She lay her cheek on top of her knees, turning to stare at her mom suspiciously. “Who’ve you been talking to?” Her mom grabbed her hot chocolate, blowing on it and avoiding eye contact with Clara. “Mom.”
She huffed, a perfect imitation of Clara, before muttering crossly, “Theresa.”
Clara sighed, leaning over so she could rest her shoulder on her mom’s shoulder. “Nothing’s set in stone. I’m curious about the kinds of courses I’d be able to do and which ones would require physical attendance. I’m good with computers and I know that I’d be able to find a way to use that to help the pack.”
“Dad does it as a hobby, Clara.” Impatience colored her tone, even as she leaned forward to put her drink down so she could wrap an arm around Clara. “It isn’t something you do as a job, even in the pack. You need to find a role where you can pull your weight. Everyone has a duty–”
“–within the pack. I know, Mom.” She sighed, familiar with this conversation. “I wish you’d just give me a chance to show you what I can do.”
“That’s all well and good, but your dad and I would just feel better if you stuck closer to the den.”
Clara sat up straight, blinking at her mom. “Dad agrees with you? Since when?”
She ignored that, redirecting like she always did when she didn’t like the question she was being asked. “You’re my only kid, sweetheart, and only seventeen. You don’t know how important you are to me. To us.”
“I’m aware.” Clara muttered but her mom just kept talking over her.
“If you were to leave or transfer, we wouldn’t begrudge you that. Every shifter should explore the world and their place in it...but in saying that, you know what family and pack means to us. We just wouldn’t really know what to do with ourselves if you were to go...” Clara sighed heavily and her mom trailed off before she could get any deeper into that particular, and familiar, guilt trip, clearly aware that she was fast approaching Clara’s limits. She leaned forward, touching a hand to the top of Clara’s. “Sweetheart, we just worry about you. If you went off to school, what would happen if you were in danger? Who would protect you? Humans are unpredictable at the best of times. You would be hours away from us and we would never know if you needed us.”
Clara snorted at that, her wolf amused at the idea of humans ever being a danger to her. She might be a submissive juvenile, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have teeth. Humans were wary of what they didn’t understand, but that meant that they avoided shifters more often than not. Shifters were ruled by their animalistic natures, following the instincts of the animal more than human reasoning. SilverRiver was a pack of wolf shifters and humans tended to give any predatory shifter a wide berth, not that her pack spent a lot of time around humans.
Before Clara could answer her mom, an alarm began blaring through their family quarters. It echoed throughout the rooms, making her flinch back. Her mom jumped up but then froze, her eyes going distance as she pack-linked with someone. Clara watched her, waiting, her temples already throbbing from the piercing of the alarm.
Her mom finally gasped, her head jerking back. She was pale as she looked over at Clara, commanding, “Stay here.”
Just like that, Clara’s usual overbearing mother was gone and a dominant soldier stood in her place. Her mom turned, heading for the cabin door. “I need to find your father. The entire pack is on lockdown so make sure the front door is locked behind me. Use the deadbolt and don’t open the door for anyone but us, even if you think you trust them.”
Okay, that was a huge, concerning bomb to throw down. Clara quickly hurried after her mom, trying to catch her before she could disappear through the door. “What does that mean? What’s going on? Where’s Dad?”
“I don’t have time to explain. Please just do as I say, Clara.” She turned to give Clara a tremulous smile, which wasn’t really reassuring at all, before she touched Clara’s cheek in a soft, swift caress. “I’ll be back as fast as I can. Stay here, stay safe.”
Clara remained frozen next to the door long after it had shut firmly behind her mother, her heart pounding as she considered what the still blaring alarm could mean. Finally, she took several deep breaths before reaching forward and setting the deadbolt. She backed away from the door slowly, as if someone was going to burst through it at any moment–which was ridiculous because they were in their quarters deep in the SilverRiver den. This was the safest place for any of them, but the alarm was still blaring incessantly and somewhere, outside the door, Clara could hear shouts and howls, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying.
She stepped backwards, wrapping her arms around herself as she trembled, her wolf quiet and watchful. She’d heard the alarm go off like this before but only when the pack was doing drills, preparing for the eventuality of an emergency.
This wasn’t a drill, though. There was a feeling in her gut that was telling that something terrible was happening.
Her parents were both soldiers in the pack, which wasn’t unusual for two dominant wolf shifters. What was unusual was that true mated pair had just one child, Clara, who happened to be their complete opposite. She was a submissive wolf and her nature and made itself known from very early on, so everyone had accepted that she’d never be following her parents’ footsteps. It wasn’t completely unheard of for a submissive to enter soldier training but it had been obvious that it’d never be the path that Clara would end up taking. She was too gentle, too soft–something her parents had never made her feel weaker for but she still felt, especially when she looked at other juveniles her age.
She hated feeling like a disappointment to them, like somehow her genetics had failed and she was letting them down just by being her.
Clara sat back on the couch, her eyes locked on her quickly cooling hot chocolate. How long had it been since her mom had left? Ten minutes. Fifteen? Surely, she’d be back any minute now. She was just finding Dad, finding out what was going on and then coming back.
Glancing at the clock that hung on the wall above the TV, Clara winced at the confirmation that it had, in fact, only been six minutes. Her knees bounced nervously as she considered everything her mom had said. Clara had never been one to disobey, but curiosity and fear were waging war with those natural instincts to submit.
What if her parents needed help? What if her pack did? What if her going out there and helping was the reason that someone wasn’t hurt?
Ha! Hilarious. Like she’d ever be anything but in the way. Her intrusive thoughts could fuck right off. The only help she could provide lay behind a keyboard, now that her mom would ever understand that. She didn’t take her mom’s attitude to heart, though, because once she was able to put cold, hard proof in front of her, her mom would realize that Clara had a point.
In the meantime, Clara just had to convince her mom to let go long enough for her to go to school and further the skills that her dad had already given her. He had given her a good foundation but everything changed so quickly, Clara knew that she needed to go out and learn more, find out all the stuff that she didn’t know. If going into the city and studying with humans was the thing that furthered those skills, then that was what she needed to do.
Finally, after what seemed like forever but in reality had only been twenty minutes, sweet silence dragged Clara out of her thoughts and plans for her future. The quiet it left should’ve brought relief with it, but instead, an ominous, sick feeling curdled through Clara’s stomach. Her wolf whined, pacing, which only increased the anxiety spiraling through her body. She almost wished that the alarm would start up again because she knew that the silence was bringing something far worse with it.
She wondered again about leaving, trying to find her mom or dad, but she didn’t want to be a distraction. Logic told her, too, that just because the alarm had cut off, that didn’t mean it was safe. She was seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone and looking after herself. She was not a pup that needed constant reassurance. She didn’t need anyone to hold her hand, no matter how terrified she might be.
She wrapped her arms around her middle, ignoring the little voice that protested that, the one wishing that someone would come and reassure her, just this once. She may not be a pup but that didn’t mean sitting here, not knowing what was happening out there, wasn’t some kind of torture in itself. She repeatedly told herself that it was probably a false alarm, that nothing bad was happening out there, that her parents were just about to walk in the door, grinning and shaking their heads when they saw her pale, worried face.
Lies, lies, lies.
A pounding knock made Clara flinch backwards, her eyes flying to the door. There was no accompanying sound, which made her doubt who it could be. Her parents wouldn’t knock at all and most packmembers would at least call out, announcing themselves... wouldn’t they? Clara swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry. She remembered her mom’s words about not opening the door for anyone, even if she thought that she trusted them.
The harsh knock came again and Clara forced herself to stand, taking a shaky step towards the door. “Wh–?” Her voice came out as a cracked whisper, so she cleared her throat before trying again. “W-who is it?” It was stronger this time but still with a distinct waver in it. She dropped her head, resting her chin on her chest, wishing she could be more like her mom, who wouldn’t have even blinked at this kind of situation.
“Clara, it’s Theresa.” The voice that responded was familiar and Clara felt her body relax minutely. The maternal dominant paused before adding, “And a couple of soldiers but they’re on our side. I promise.”
Our side? Clara wondered at that, staring at the wood of the door as she considered her options. Theresa was somebody that she trusted undoubtedly–she was basically in charge of the whole pack, working alongside the alpha. All internal pack matters, especially those that weren’t urgent, went to Theresa before Philip. She’d been an essential guide in helping Clara start to find where she fit into the large pack, especially as the submissive pup of two dominant shifters.
She stepped forward, pressing her forehead to the cool wood. “Theresa,” she whispered softly, knowing that the other female would hear her. “Where’s my mom?”
“Clara, open the door, sweetie.” Clara tried to tell herself that she was just imagining the break in Theresa’s voice. “I don’t want to do this without seeing your face.”
A whimper escaped Clara’s throat, no matter how hard she pinched her lips together. Her eyes were already burning, that horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach growing and growing until it was everywhere. She considered leaving the door shut, as if that would stop whatever Theresa was about to say from being true and her world wouldn’t shatter into a million pieces...because right now, she knew. She knew that there was only one reason that her mother and father weren’t standing on the other side of this door. Her wolf lay down, her head on her paws and her tail low.
“Please.” Clara begged, not even really sure what she was asking for but there was no reply. She inhaled deeply before stepping back to unlock the deadbolt, pulling the door open.
Theresa stood there, her face drawn in grief, with two soldiers on either side of her, both looking grim. She took in every detail, noting that Theresa didn’t really look any different, dressed in a purple tie-dyed skirt and white tank top. She reached up to swipe a loose strand of hair from her face and her bangles jangled merrily on her wrist–a strange, happy sound that was discordant and out of place at that moment.
The two males wore the standard black cargo pants and black shirts that enforcers wore when on duty but it was a splash of color on the one on the left that caught Clara’s eye. On the right side of his face, near his ear, was a smudge of dark red. It was dried, looking almost rust colored, and smeared as he’d tried to clean it up but missed a spot in his hurry.
Blood.
“Theresa?” Clara started, dragging her eyes back to the maternal female but Theresa only shook her head, her eyes hollow and devastated. Clara fell silent, focusing on laugh lines that surrounded Theresa’s mouth, the gray streaks that curled through her brown hair and the auburn flecks in her brown eyes. Clara looked at anything that could distract from the words that were starting to come out of Theresa’s mouth, the sound muffled like Clara was hearing them underwater.
“There’s been an internal battle within the pack.” Theresa took a deep breath, gearing herself up for what she had to say next. “We’ve killed the traitors and those that followed them, but Phillip was killed.” Clara blinked, trying to process the repercussions of their alpha being dead. Before she could organize a clear thought, Theresa continued, “Your dad, he fought at Phillip’s side. He defended his alpha, long after he was gone. Someone–” She blinked watery eyes, looking away from Clara briefly and regaining her composure before looking back. “Robert was attacked from behind. Someone tried to warn him, but it was too late. He died quickly, and once he was gone...” Theresa cleared her throat. “Once he breathed his last breath, your mom chose to follow him.”
Clara gripped the door, her fingers digging into the hard surface until her nails throbbed. She felt one tear under the force but the pain centered her. It felt like all three of the wolves on her doorstep were waiting for her to say something but what could she say? How was she supposed to react to the news that her parents, the two most important people in her life, her only family, were gone? Her entire world was imploding and nothing would ever be okay again.
Less than an hour ago, her mom was smothering her and demanding she stay in the pack and not ever consider leaving and now she was just... gone.
“Clara?” Theresa stepped forward, her hand reaching out to touch Clara’s shoulder but she flinched away.
“Mom wouldn’t leave me alone. Not if she’d had a choice.”
Theresa glanced at the soldier on her left, the one with blood on his face, before turning back to Clara, her expression sympathetic. “You know how mated pairs are. It’s very rare that one can survive the death of the other, not without turning feral.”
Clara shook her head, adamant. “She wouldn’t leave me. They wouldn’t leave me.” She heard the broken note in her own voice and didn’t move away when Theresa moved to hug her. The older female held Clara tightly against her own body, almost as if she were willing Clara to stay together.
“We’re here for you, Clara. You’re not alone.” Theresa’s floral scent filled Clara’s nose, making it hard for her to breathe. It was just another way to show her that her mom wasn’t here. “We’ll all get through this.”
“Get through what?” Clara gasped out, feeling like her throat was closing up. She knew she was just seconds away from completely losing but she had no idea how to stop it. Theresa turned to look at the enforcers again, her body tense against Clara’s.
She met Clara’s eyes solemnly, inhaling deeply as she stated, “Creating a new SilverRiver. We won the battle today, even though we lost many, including Phillip. So now, we rebuild.” She let out a shaky breath. “The pack now has a new alpha.”
