Toxic, Wasted Love
Being married to you for a month was like living in a nightmare.
We didn't even know each other before getting married.
A marriage set up to fail before it even got started.
Once both of us lived together, that's when the real Hans came out.
Nothing I did made you happy unless it was me becoming part of your world.
Our issues ended up being unresolved, leading to unrepairable.
I smoked weed twice before stopping, which only made things worse.
When it was money, you feed it for your habits, not considering my feelings.
It just wasn't for me, but I know it's good for medical purposes.
If I ever told you no, it unleashed the monster inside.
Things just took a dive downhill further, but a plan to be free becomes harder in these living circumstances.
Eventually, after not being a weakling anymore, a part of me toughened up.
The side you tried peeling away resurfaced, so a submissive wife who only followed every command was gone.
They say some women fight back, resulting in death.
I'll fight for my life just to get away from you.
That's exactly what happened when I ran into you like a damn linebacker, then running for my life.
Even if I ended up with a few bruises, or taking a beating...I survived.
When the divorce was final, my life was given back to me.
I became broken yet beautiful all over again believing every word you spoke.
"No one will love someone ugly like you ever again, especially after being with me."
Those words cut like a fucking knife that I actually believed them.
Honestly we just weren't meant to be, that was pretty clear.
Both of us are to blame when I'm the fool who rushed in, you were the predator who caught me.
With you Hans, it was just a toxic, wasted love from the start.
My life became my own again, getting stronger taking it as a life lesson.
Even if there was those hard darkest days, they got better.
After everything is said then done, I found a real love after.
Only to find out a few years later, you ended up in jail at my hometown.
Funny how life works in the end, I'd been long gone to Louisiana.
I'd say karma served you right in the end.
Yet I survived to tell the story of a toxic, wasted love.
