An Unlikely Connection

The first day of college was nerve-racking. I parked my newly bought used car perfectly in the student parking lane between two heavy pickup trucks. I kept critiquing myself about how I parked in lanes, so when I did this, I was happy. So far, my day has been going smoothly. I opened my door, and the ambient sounds of the garage mixed in with the chattering of people hit me all at once. It reminded me of my high school rush hour during transition periods, but this was double the volume. Good thing I brought my headphones to drown out the noise. I played a playlist that shuffled video game soundtracks that were epic with orchestra-level instruments, then walked over to the elevators.

Two elevators were situated adjacent to each other. I took the furthest one because it didn’t have anyone standing near it. The moment I walked into the elevator and turned to reach the button panel, a woman wandered in. She almost ran into me if it wasn’t for my quick reaction to step back. Her enormous boobs bumped against my chest before she stopped.

“Oh, sorry,” she said with a gasp. I turned down the volume of my music so I could hear her better if she spoke again.

“You’re good,” I said.

“Cool.” She pressed number two on the panel. On that floor, it took us up to the sky bridge that led to the campus. “Are you going here as well?” Her question made no sense to me. I thought she would know that I was on the same floor. She could’ve guessed, judging by my appearance and today’s date being the start of the fall semester.

“Um, yeah.”

“Sorry. That was a dumb question. I’m so nervous right now. I’m a freshman.” I wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying. Her outfit, beautiful freckled face, brown hair, and rounded, fat body were hot. She caught me staring at her, so I nodded my head to pretend I was paying attention to what I said. “Are you a freshman, by any chance?”

“Yes,” I said, cracking my voice. “I am.”

“That’s good. What classes are you taking? Besides the one class we all have to take.”

“PE, history, math.” She gasped as if she saw something crazy. It startled me, and I jumped a bit.

“Me too! We might be in the same classes.” I told her the names of my professors, and it turned out she also had them. I was kinda excited that a beautiful girl like her was my classmate. “Just in case we get drafted into being partners, or I’ll need assistance on some homework.” She paused mid-sentence to unlock her phone. “Can you give me your phone number?” That question made me internally scream for joy. On day one of college, I achieved a girl’s number before I even knew her name.

“Sure.” We exchanged numbers without telling our names first, so I made a motion to ask. “What’s your name?”

“Kathleen Reilly. You can call me Kat if you like.”

“Okay, Kat. Joshua McEwan is my name.” Her eyes popped open at the sound of the elevator doors pulling apart. She looked over her shoulder while blindly putting her phone back into her purse. “Hey, since we got the same classes, let’s walk together.”

“Sure.” I realized I had already said that word, so I said, “Yes.”

We walked to our first class together, taking in the sights of our campus and having small talk. I found that Kat was a year older than I was. She took a year off from school after graduating. I should have done the same, but at least I didn’t have to go through seven hours of schooling in college.

The first class we entered was American History. This curriculum started when the Pilgrims came to settle in what is now known as New England. My professor’s room had two columns of rectangular black tables that were positioned in eight rows. No one was in the room, so I checked my watch while taking a seat in the back. I was thirty minutes early.

“At least I can choose the best seat,” I said.

“You are right about that,” Kat said, taking the second seat at a table in front of me. “Finders keepers.”

“Losers weepers,” I whispered. I sat in the first chair near the aisle at the far back. This spot had quick access to leave, plus it suited my left-handed boundaries. Anyone who was right-handed would have arm space to move around in.

As time got near the start of the class, the room began to fill up. There was only one seat left next to me. My professor came in and looked shocked to see his class filled up. His eyes bulged through his glasses.

“My, my. What a turnout. Sorry for being late, everyone. I had to talk to an old friend,” he said as he was turning on the ceiling-mounted projector. It seemed like I was the only one paying attention. Everyone kept talking to the people around or was going through their phones. “Okay. It’s time to get this noisy class started.” Just before he was about to shut the door, someone wedged the upper tip of their longboard to prevent the door from closing. It bounced off the board, making it slowly swing open.

“Jesus fuck, dude!” A woman said. The chatter of the students stopped like someone turning down the volume to mute. It made my ears mildly resonate from a quick volume change. A tomboyish-looking woman with blonde highlights in her black-brown hair and tatted arm sleeves. She looked pissed as she quickly scanned the room, finding the person who hit her board. When she looked at the professor, her expression changed quickly. “Sorry! Am I late, Professor? This campus was confusing to navigate.” Her German accent came out. It was light, but I understood every word.

“No. Take a seat, please.”

“Yes, sir.”

She glanced all over the room to find where she could sit. I wanted to blurt out and wave to make her see there was a spot near me, but I didn’t feel the need to. Her eyes found the chair but locked on me for what felt like a good five seconds. I was stricken with a burst of sudden attraction by how attractive she looked. Her brows were perfectly arched over her greenish-amber eyes. She had what I called an Egyptian-style eyeliner that came out as a point to the side of her head. The more I stared, the more details I liked. Under the nose was a C-shaped silver ring. It had two tiny cones that didn’t touch one another. Her face and jawline were shaped beautifully, plus she had a small cleft chin.

“Wow. I’m in love,” I whispered with the back of my left hand covering my mouth as I looked at the open seat. As she came closer to me, my heart started beating fast. My body got tingly, which made me get a slight unwanted erection. I was wearing jeans, so it fucking hurt the more it grew in size. Her perfume smelled more like men’s cologne than the fruity, girly scents I smelled from girls. I didn’t mind the smell, but it made me self-conscious if I smelled as good as her.

“Alright, everyone. It’s time for roll call. I’ll be doing this for a few weeks; then I’ll stop,” the professor said. While he checked the roll call, I peered at the girl sitting next to me to check out her tattoos. I noticed birds, insects, and flowers going up to her arm. They were wickedly detailed. When I looked at her face, she was slightly smirking while indirectly looking at me.

“Hello (Hi),” she said. When her head turned over to me and her eyes came up, I looked at the door. She giggled in a soft chuckle. “I know you were staring,” she whispered right into my ear. The skin around my neck sent a shiver down my spine. She stretched her arm into view across the table. “Do my tattoos bother you?” I looked down at her arm and then her fingers. They were bare of any coloring but were polished as they glistened under the lights.

“They don’t,” I answered, looking at her from the corner of my eye.

“Do you like’em?” I didn’t want to sound weird by saying I loved them, so I gave her a simple response.

“Yeah, they’re cool.” She didn’t react in any way that seemed to acknowledge my compliment. I looked at her to see what was going on. Our eyes met. Her eyes gleamed deeply into my soul, and I couldn’t look away. This girl’s beauty was the best thing I have ever seen in my life. I admired many women, but being this close to a girl like her was something special.

“So,” she said, turning more of her body to face me. “Which one do you like the most?” Right as I was about to answer, the professor called my name.

“Yes?” I said. I thought he wanted me for something, but it was just a roll call.

“Joshua,” she said slowly. “Joshua... Mind if I call you Josh?” Only my parents called me that. When it came from her lips, I accepted it wholeheartedly. A girl like her could call me anything she wanted, and I wouldn’t give a damn.

“I don’t mind.”

“Wunderbar (Wonderful). My name is—”

“Yose Böhme,” the professor said.

“Here,” she raised her hand. “I like to be called Yosefin too. If it’s not a problem.”

“That’s not a problem.” The professor read out a student to my left named Collin Carver. His long black hair caught my eye. It looked longer than mine. I kept my curly hair in a bun because I was too lazy to comb it out every day. He didn’t say anything to the professor but raised his hand in a nonchalant salute.

“He’s got some nice hair,” she whispered with her hand over her mouth. Her quiet comment brought a strange case of deja vu that was unrelated to Collin.

“Böhme?” I said, slowly turning my head to face Yosefin. That last sounded oddly familiar. I couldn’t find where I heard it last. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I concluded it wasn’t that important to pursue at the time.

“Is there something interesting about my last name, Josh?”

“Oh... uh... It’s nothing.”

“Is it nothing?” She leaned closer to me with her one brow raised. I felt intimidated in a fun kind of way. “You whispered my name like you’ve heard it before or something of the sort, ja (Yeah)?”

“I do. Maybe when I was little. But I can’t remember when. I guess it’ll come back to remembrance later down the line.”

“Okay,” she quickly said, leaning back into her seat while shrugging. It sounded like she was disappointed with what I said. I tried judging her face by how she responded. Nothing seemed wrong, plus she kept her smile going.

“Okay, class. Listen up!” The professor kinda shouted. “This is what we’ll be doing in History 1301.”

After the professor gave the rundown of what we needed to do for the entire semester, he put on a video of pilgrimage history. When I was in elementary school, I never turned away from any sort of video watching. These were like a mental reality break from focusing on any kind of work. If the video were two minutes, I’d watch it.

“Ah,” Yosefin said, flipping her phone face down on the table. “American history. Fascinating stuff, don’t you think?” Her excitement amused me in a way that intrigued me. The tomboyish appearance mixed with the thrill of history seemed off. I believed tomboys took an interest in sports or boyish activities. Not history. Collin showed his attention by taking a nap with the right side of his face facing me. “Josh,” she said, poking her finger into my ribcage. It tickled enough to make me jump.

“Hmm?” I hummed.

“Just making sure you’re not brain dead.”

“Sorry. I was... distracted.”

“I can’t be that cute, can I?” My heart paused for a moment. “JK. I’m not that interesting,” she said immediately before glancing at Collin. “That dude must’ve gotten no sleep last night.” I rested my hand over my heart and took a single deep breath to calm myself down. I honestly thought she knew I found her attractive and was trying to tease me to confess. “So... what’s your schedule like after this?”

“I got that freshman class after this.” She rolled her eyes to the left and then hummed in a low pitch.

“Let me see if I have that too,” she said, pulling a folded paper out of her back pocket. It was odd for her to say that. All freshmen had to take that class. “Ja. I do. Right after this one.” My day got better. Two fine girls were in my classes.

All of my classes ended at three. Unfortunately, Kat only had two classes with me. But at least Yosefin was in all four of them. Collin also had the same classes. That dude slept through all of them. He made me wonder if he might have some sort of sleeping disorder.

At the end of that day, I connected slightly more with Yosefin than I did with Kat or Collin. Kat seemed friendly, but she didn’t stay consistent in wanting to talk. Collin wanted to sleep at any chance he got. Yosefin couldn’t keep away from me. She had a nice balance of interest in wanting to converse. I found out she was a gamer like me. We didn’t talk enough about what type of games we were compatible with, but I felt there was something we both played.

At the end of the second day of my classes, I was hungry and thirsty after not having a good breakfast before I came to campus. I headed to the cafeteria to buy a chicken and egg salad box. The moment I sat down at a table, I saw I had forgotten to grab a drink. I sat up halfway, then heard what sounded like an electric motor zooming down the hallway next to the cafeteria. Lord, behold, it was Yosefin riding the longboard. She came in here, swerving in and out past people.

“Really, Yosefin?” I said, stuffing my mouth with my salad. She caught a glance of me when she passed my table and circled back over to me.

“Josh!” Yosefin shouted. Her voice echoed throughout the room. She seemed surprised yet happy to see me here. Her mouth was shaped like the happy face on those drama masks. “What are you doing here all alone?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I was hungry.”

“No one should sit alone, especially when eating,” she said, rolling her longboard under the table and taking a seat to my left. Collin came out of nowhere, agreeing with her statement. “See, Josh?”

“Where did you come from?”

“My mother,” Collin said before stuffing candy in his mouth and then walking away. Yosefin reminded me that it’s better to have someone than to sit by myself. It sounded like a stupid motto. I didn’t need anyone to sit with me while I ate. But I accepted her presence. I couldn’t tell her she wasn’t wanted. How could I say no to a hot, tatted-up girl?

“Since you’re sitting with me, do you mind giving me a drink? I forgot to buy one before sitting down.”

“Sure thing.” She jumped over to the vending machines before I could hand her money.

“Wait a sec.” I took out my wallet halfway out of my pocket. She slammed on the brakes, making her hop on one foot to stop as she looked back at me.

“Lemon-lime soda, right?” How did she know that? It was like she read my mind. The guess threw me off to the point that I stopped chewing my food.

“Yeah...”

“Keep your money, Josh. I’m getting one for me too.” She skipped over to the machine, then hopped next to the Coke machine that housed lemon-lime soda. Her ass jiggled inside her jean shorts upon landing. Such a sight was engraved into my mind and stayed on repeat until she came back to me with the drinks in hand. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” She downed a quarter of the soda before I got the chance to sip mine. “Thirsty?”

“Nah,” she said after she burped. “I was craving some sugar. It’s my cheat day.”

“Cheat day?”

“I’m a bit chubby.” Chubby felt like an exaggeration. Her body looked fine to me. It had shape. The perfect mixture of fat and muscle. “Got a bit of a jiggle issue in some areas.”

“What, your ass?”

“You looked, didn’t you?” My face heated up from blushing hard. “Oh my god, Josh,” she said, hiding her smile with her soda.

“I didn’t mean to. It just happened.”

“Calm down.” She patted my back as she took a seat next to me, giggling. “Don’t fall head over heels. I’m definitely not your type.” Her voice got softer, and it sounded a bit sad in its tone. I contemplated asking her why I shouldn’t. It had only been two days since we met, and I didn’t want to seem like a creep trying to explain why I found her attractive. “Hey. Whatcha staring at, Josh?” When I came to my senses, I found I was looking at her the whole time.

“Nothing.” I shoved the salad into my mouth to play it cool.

“You know you’re blushing, right?” Caught like a deer in headlights. “Seriously, I’m nothing special.” That was a bald-faced lie and another bash against herself. That was the last straw for me. I had to say something that would make her feel different about herself.

“Stop that.” My words made her momentarily freeze in the middle of drinking. “You’re... beautiful.” The force of my heart was pumping so hard that I felt lightheaded. When I looked closely at her cheeks, they were slowly blushing. “Look who’s blushing now.”

“Shut up.” We both laughed at each other. I nearly choked on my food from not holding it in my mouth. She had to pat my back to help me get my food down.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Hey, before I go. I want you to have this.” She handed me a folded notebook paper from her right side pocket that still had the ripped edges on it. Inside was her number. Under it, she had her gamer username.

“Really?”

“I’m old-fashioned.”

“You could have told me this before class ended.” Her blushing face got redder as I saved her information on my phone.

“I know, but I was shy. I don’t have friends I can meet in person. I was homeschooled since middle school in the seventh grade, so bear with me if you make me shy, okay?” I felt concerned she didn’t get to experience the perks of public school. It sounded like she hinted at a sheltered experience in schooling. If I were the first person she talked to in person, I would have to tolerate what made her comfortable.

“I’ll keep that in mind. If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way about you.”

She tucked the left side of her hair around her ear and then said, “Gosh, really?”

“Mhmm. We’re connecting pretty fast. Yosefin, have we met before somewhere?”

“Uh...” She said with a light chuckle, looking to her left for a long moment. “I don’t know,” she mumbled while shrugging her shoulders.

“Damn. It feels like I should already know you.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Josh. But,” she paused to point at her phone, “Text me when you get home. I wanna play some games with you.”

“I will.”

“Fantastisch! (Awesome)”

Our friendship boomed from that day. Yosefin and I talked nonstop for days. We chatted for long hours on the phone, texting, or gaming to the point that we stayed up late into the morning. My sleep schedule was fucked up to the point that I kept getting four to five hours of sleep before class. It didn’t bother me because I was addicted to talking to her. I liked her way too fast, so I didn’t feel comfortable seeing her as more than a friend. The honeymoon phase of befriending a hot, friendly girl overwhelmed my emotions, so I had to turn down my interest in her. What I didn’t want to happen was to scare her off. I had a bad experience of being too upfront and lost my chance of having something tangible. With Yosefin, I had to take it slow, keep it friendly, and establish a strong friendship before moving anywhere else. I barely knew her, so I needed to do my due diligence to understand who she was.

The third week of college, after I met Yosefin, ended without it being the slightest bit stressful. None of my professors gave me any assignments to work on the weekend, so I was chilling at home until she texted me saying she wanted to hang out in the college’s den. From freshman orientation, it was a place to relax and play all sorts of games, ranging from consoles to table games.

I drove to the campus under the cover of needing to take a test so my parents wouldn’t deny me the chance to see her in person again. She was an unknown mystery I hadn’t revealed yet nor mentioned to them. When I traveled to the back end of the campus, I saw Yosefin standing in the hallway facing an empty private room while looking down at her phone. Her hair was loosely coiled. She wore overalls that stopped above her mid-thigh and a pink shirt tucked into them. Both wrists had bracelets that varied in two different sizes. She looked so stunning.

I was hidden from her sight, so I texted her to look to her right. When my message came through, a smile appeared on her face as she pulled her hair behind her ear when she looked at me.

“Josh,” she yelled quietly with her arms out for a hug.

“Yosefin,” I said in the same volume. I gave her a firm, close hug. My crotch bumped into her hard enough to make it slightly hurt, but I did not react to the pain to ruin the moment. Her perfume was different this time. It smelled like strawberries and vanilla. “Wow, that’s a nice smell you got.”

“Thanks. I thought you might like it. I got it yesterday.”

“It’s got my stamp of approval.” I gave her two thumbs up to show more satisfaction. “So, have you been to the den before?”

“No. It’s my first time.”

“Same. It sounds like a cool place,” I said, walking past her to head to the den.

“Josh,” she said, pulling on my shirt. “Before we go, I need to talk to you about something.” She entered the private open room to my right.

“Okay?” I took a seat at the same table she sat down at. “What’s up?”

“I need to ask you a question, or more like tell you something.” My mind began racing with possible questions and scenarios she might ask me to answer. I felt whatever she wanted to know was serious because she wasn’t smiling or making direct eye contact. “Do you remember a kid named Yose back in middle school?”

“Yose?” I said several times to remind myself of that name.

“Short black hair. Greenish eyes like mine.”

“Yeah, I do! I knew I felt something familiar about you.”

“Wait, you do?”

“You must be his sister! I wonder what happened to him?” Before she could answer my question, I went off to another train of thought. “He was not really fond of most of the class. He was a quiet kid.”

“Yeah...” That word sounded off to me. She blankly stared down at the table, nibbling her thumbnail.

“Yosefin?” She put her index knuckle on her chin and then rubbed it back and forth while she continued looking at the table. “Hey. Yosefin. What’s wrong?” I was worried about her silence, so I tried to shake her out of whatever she was doing. It broke the hypnotic gaze and made her look up at me. “Did something happen to him?”

“Josh...”

“Yeah?”

“Pinky, promise me you won’t freak out.” Her breathing began getting faster, and the blood in her cheeks got redder. It looked like she was going to pass out in front of me. I was getting nervous watching her freak out a bit.

“Should I get you some water?” I slightly moved back to get ready to sit up out of my seat, but she softly held my hand. The skin on her palm was damp and warm.

“Don’t go. Please stay with me.”

“Yosefin, you’re scaring me. What is going on with you?”

“I’m so fucking nervous,” she said, holding her head in her hands against her face. “I have to tell you something about me.”

“Okay...”

“Fuck!” She jumped out of her seat to prance in circles around the room.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” I stood in her pathway to block the endless cycle of going in circles. It worked, but she wouldn’t look at me anymore and kept her arms crossed around her body. “Did I say something to make you act like this?”

“No...”

“Well, it feels like it did.”

“You didn’t,” she said, finally looking up at me. “I’m sorry that I’m making you feel like this, Josh. My anxiety is fucking with me really badly right now.”

“Shit. What can I do to help?”

“I don’t know!” I looked around to find something I could do to calm her down enough so she could say what was on her mind. Out of desperation to make her settle down, I offered my pinky.

“I swear.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm.” She put her arms down and then slowly locked her pinky around mine.

“Would you swear to me again, but specifically what you’ll swear on?”

“I swear I won’t freak out.”

She took two deep breaths and then suddenly spoke fast, saying, “The kid you remembered was me.”

There were no words for me to say, mainly because it sounded like a slur to me. It took me a long time to process what she said. How could a beautiful woman like her be that awkward kid from my middle school years? They didn’t look anything alike, except for their eyes and maybe their hair color. She physically looked like an adult woman. Her hands were small; she had big boobs, hips, and a woman’s voice. There couldn’t be a chance she was a guy. I would have noticed in an instant.

“Josh? Why are you silent? You told me you weren’t going to freak out,” Yosefin said, somewhat clutching my pinky tighter.

“I’m not,” I said with a light chuckle and let go of her pinky. I tried to keep my composure steady, so I wouldn’t freak out. The longer I looked at her and compared what she told me, the realization of being bamboozled became apparent. “Are you fucking joking? You’re Yose?” My question was answered when she showed me a picture side by side of Yose and herself at age sixteen. They almost looked alike. “That ain’t you, is it?”

“It is.” I had to give her and the pictures a double-take. She was serious. No smile, calm voice, direct eye contact. “Here.” She showed me her under-twenty-one driver’s license with her thumb under the sex label. The letter M was printed on it.

“No way,” I whispered.

“It must be hella fucking weird seeing me like this. I resemble nothing like how I looked as a kid. Then yet again, who does, ja?”

“Yeah, no shit.” The butterflies I had in my stomach started attacking me in a way that made me feel sick.

“Josh,” she said, taking a step closer to me. “Don’t freak out. You promised me.”

“You’re a dude?! What the fuck!?”

“Josh, calm down!” My fight-or-flight was conflicting with itself. I felt tricked. I wanted to leave after being fooled for two weeks, because she was not what I thought. But my curiosity to know how this was feasible kept me in the room.

“I feel... I feel like I got duped into losing all my money. I want to gag right now.”

“Please don’t do that. I hate that noise.”

“How is this possible, Yosefin—” That name was hard to say. It didn’t seem right to speak it anymore since I knew who she was. “How is this possible, Yose?”

“Hormones through puberty and mutations that went the other way and led to what you see now.”

“Huh?” I yelled. My voice was loud enough to echo and make her jump. “What? I don’t understand.”

“Which one?” She somewhat wept with a trembling voice.

“All of it.” Her face dropped into what looked like the visible form of the word, oh. “How did you get like this?”

“I don’t know where I should start.” She sat back down in her seat with her head inside the bend of her arm. Her hair sprawled over the table, and I could see her nibbling on her thumb. “Josh, where should I start?” I couldn’t decide what sounded the most important. They all sounded like crazy reasons, so I eventually chose to ask her to explain to me what ‘mutated ’ meant. That seemed pure science fiction.

“Uh, you said mutated. So, explain that.”

“Okay.” She leaned up with her hands together in her lap. Her hands tightened. They somewhat shook, and her nails turned red from the fingers pressing down on the back of her hand. While she was getting her thoughts together, my mind went off into something I didn’t think I would suspect this early, to understand why she became this. “I—”

“Do you have..?” I stopped myself from continuing in the hope she’d know what I would say.

“Do I have... what?”

“Do you... Well, y’know...”

“No. I don’t know.” It was tough for me to ask if she had what I had. A woman having something she should not have was not computing in my eighteen-year-old brain. I even considered her to be an alien. “Josh, what are you trying to ask me?” The more she wanted me to tell her what I wanted to know, the more I felt timid. I couldn’t imagine this being possible. It didn’t make any logical sense. “Oh! Are you asking me if I have fake tits?”

“Huh?” I blurted, shaking my head and hands to make it not seem like I was acting perverted. “No, no, no!”

“Oh, okay. They are real, by the way. I will let you touch them if it proves to you they are.” My heart rate rose as my dirty mind found it amusing that she offered me to touch them.

“Really? You’ll let me see?”

“See?” She gasped. “I said touch.” My dumb-ass mind said the wrong thing, but she found some amusement in my mistake. She cracked a quick smile that broke her sad frown. “I wouldn’t mind that too, just not here for obvious reasons.” Then she quietly mumbled, “For the sake of facts.”

“Of course,” I said, playing off as if I didn’t ask if I could touch them. “But that wasn’t what I wanted to ask of you.”

“So, what do you wanna know?”

“Do you have...” For the life of me, I couldn’t say it, so I pointed down at her crouch.

“Ah! That?” I nodded. “Uh, I do,” she sighed. “It doesn’t work, though.”

“Doesn’t work?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow. “What the hell does that mean?!”

“That would answer in part of my mutation aspect. I have severe, untreatable, incurable azoospermia.”

“Az-zoo... What now?”

“I-” she paused to turn her chair to face me. “I’m sterile, Josh.” The bombshell of the information left me frozen with shock. There were no words I could say to express any reaction. All I could do was stare at her, dead in the eyes. “My doctors believed the moment I went through puberty, my DNA began to go in reverse,” she said, air-quoting the last word.

“Reverse?”

“I turned into this naturally. My voice got higher, my hips got wider, and I grew tits. I am as female as it gets, minus, y’know,” she chuckled, but only for a quick moment. “So... yeah...”

“So,” I drew out the word, trying to make sense of how I could see the visual transformation from then to now. “Can you...” Yet again, I had a tough time being forward with my questions.

“Josh, can you be blunt with me? I’ll tell you everything you want to know. I don’t care if it’s extremely personal. I just don’t want you to be grossed out by me.” When she said grossed out, I had to think for a second about what she was concerned about. It seemed like she wished to keep her image less awkward.

“Why do you want me to be so open?”

“You—” She hesitated and stopped to think about what she wanted to say.

“You, what?” I leaned forward to show her my interest in wanting to know. “Say what you were going to say.”

“Let me say this first,” she whispered, fumbling with her thumbs while looking at them. “I was seen as an afterthought around the kids back in middle school. No one cared to know me or be my friend. I was the odd, quiet kid.” She slowly raised her head to look at me. “You were the only kid at the school who at least spared a few words with me.”

“Yosefin... I mean, Yose... umm. Which one do I pick?”

“Call me whatever you like.” Her smile came back, but it was lightly formed. The corners of her lips barely moved up. It looked like she was happy in some sort of way, but not entirely. “Yose is still my legal name.” She handed me her driver’s license again to show me her name. The card said Yose. “As I said, you can call me whatever you like.”

“So, where did the name Yosefin come from?”

“It was an easy add-on to my name because it’s the opposite gender,” she sighed. “Since I look like this.” I stayed with her current name to be on the side of the current moment. The former name felt truthful, but it didn’t match her look anymore. And I didn’t want to constantly flip-flop between the names.

“I’ll say Yosefin,” I concluded. “You can continue... if you want to.”

“Like I said. You talked to me.”

“Barely, if I recall.”

“Hey, I appreciated that. Plus, it was one of the things that kept me going in life. I don’t think I would be here if it weren’t for me wondering what Joshua was up to all these years.”

“What do you mean by keeping you going?”

“Let’s not talk about that today,” she deflected, glancing away for a quick moment. “It’s pretty depressing, and I would like to get through this first before expunging that memory any time soon.” There was a moment of silence that lasted roughly five seconds before she continued. “I never had a real friend to talk to in person, so don’t be reserved because of what you now know of me.”

“Okay,” I said with no confidence in my voice. It sounded like I was confused, but I went along with the flow.

“Okay...” The atmosphere between us got serious, so I took an opportunity to hopefully break the darkness in the room by asking a blunt question.

“So, you’re a guy? Like me?”

“If you consider what I have, minus how I look and sound,” she answered, giving me one finger up. “Then yes.”

“Girl?”

“If that’s how you see and hear me, I could be.”

“Could be?”

“It isn’t what I am,” she said, shifting her attention to gaze at the window. “We can say yes, but we know it’s not true. It’s a liveable and agreeable lie.”

“This is so fucking weird to think you can be both.” She found my comment laughable. It made me quite optimistic to see her giggle, but I felt nervous that it wasn’t genuine. It was short, and her smile got smaller. I was scared to clarify if I offended her in any way, so I remained silent.

“I’m sorry. I tried to shoo you away. And if you wanna stop seeing me, I’ll understand.” The whole ultimatum felt wrong. This was a dramatic suggestion that felt like one of us would get the short end of the stick. I understood enough that if I completely stopped talking, it would upset her in some sort of way, but I needed some time alone to digest everything she told me.

“Yeah,” I said, not knowing what else to say. We said nothing for a long moment, so I decided to leave. I was annoyed about being tricked like that, even though she didn’t mean to. She was cool, awesome to talk to, and a beautiful girl, but what she revealed left a sour taste in my mouth. “I’m gonna go home.”

“Okay,” she said in a quiet voice while looking at the ground. When I left the room, I stopped outside the door to look back at her. Her head was down, and her hands were up to her face. She looked sad, but I didn’t want to ask if she was. Therefore, I left and went home.

For the entire weekend, we didn’t talk over the phone. I found myself blankly staring at nothing as I thought about what she had told me. Sometimes I would check my phone, hoping she would text me to say hi. It was like she was ignoring me, but I was also doing the same thing. She stopped getting online to play the games we played together.

When I wasn’t waiting for her or doing anything, I searched online to understand the things she went through. Everything I saw didn’t match, plus I saw some extremely disturbing shit I didn’t think people would do to themselves. She was a rarity, according to her words and the zero examples I found. Once I reached several dead ends in my research, I considered calling her to break the silence, but what was I going to say after not speaking for three days?

On the fourth day, a new college week came. Kat and I were the first people in our history class again. She talked with me about her crazy day at a jazz music festival she went to on the weekend. I didn’t pay attention to most of it because I was nervous about seeing Yosefin. Kat didn’t notice me ignoring her because she kept on talking without any pause. She chattered continually until the class filled up with most of the students, then stopped. I kept my eyes fixated on the door, waiting for Yosefin to arrive. The moment the professor came in, my heart sank. It dipped further when he closed the door halfway to start the class.

“Alright, class. We’re going to be discussing what went down in Salem,” the professor said. While he was setting up a PowerPoint presentation, I kept my attention on the open door. When he swung the door closed, the tip of a longboard prevented it from shutting. In came Yosefin. “You’re late again.”

“My board ran out of juice,” Yosefin said without looking at him and taking her seat next to me. “I didn’t charge it all weekend.”

“Yo! Do you need a charger?” Collin asked. “There’s a plug-in next to me.

“Thanks, but I’m good. I brought a portable.” I waited for the class to settle into focusing on the lecture before making any advances toward her. At first, I interlocked my fingers over my mouth to look less suspicious of the professor when I wanted to see what she was doing. At first, I looked at her face. There was not a hint of makeup anywhere on her face. Next, I noticed her lack of attention to the professor’s talkative lecture. She wasn’t paying attention to him in the slightest. She was scribbling lines in her notebook.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“I don’t know,” she answered softly.

“Are you okay?” She stopped scribbling for a moment to side-eye me.

“Do you... hate me?” I gasped at the thought of hating her. There was no solid reason for me to dislike her, so what she said made no sense.

“No. Why would you ask me a question like that?” Her slouched posture became straight the moment I said that.

“Because of what I am. I’m not what you expected.” Before I could add on, the professor told me to be quiet and listen.

“We’ll talk after class, kay?” I said with my mouth covered.

“Okay.”

After class, I waited alongside the wall of the classroom for her to get out. She was the last one out. When I approached her, she braced her body like she was about to get hit. Her stomach was somewhat tucked in. She slightly bent over and turned her body away from me.

“So,” she said after holding herself with her left arm. “You really don’t hate me?” I shook my head no, then she unexpectedly dropped her board to hug me tightly, with her face digging into my chest. I almost fell back from how hard she slammed into me. She began weeping uncontrollably. “Oh, thank god!”

“Whoa. Calm down.” I had to take off my backpack and hers so I could hold her better. Her cries didn’t let up. I rubbed and patted her back just to make her ease up from the chaotic crying. “What is up with you, Yosefin? Why are you crying so hard?”

“I thought it was the end. I thought I fucked up a chance to have a friend.”

“Oh, god. I didn’t mean to make you think that. I’m so sorry, Yosefin.” My actions made me feel sad that I accidentally caused her emotional distress. “Gosh, I’m so stupid. I should’ve talked to you.”

“Josh, can you promise me something?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Don’t you ever do that to me again, okay?” I locked my pinky around hers without her offering it for a swear.

“You got it.” After I let her finger go, she hugged me again. If I had to guess, hugging felt more special than a pinky promise. “I’m sorry, Yosefin. I’ve never met someone like you before. I take back what I said about being tricked and the way I acted.”

“Apology accepted,” she said, clearing her eyes and wiping away her mucus with a smile on her face. “I have issues, Josh. I overthink situations in my head a lot because of what I am. Needless to say, I don’t have any IRL (In real life) friends to help me with that.”

“You should fear that less now since you have me.”

Yosefin’s smile grew bigger on that day. We squashed the momentary awkwardness I created and went back into our hyper friendship. At the end of the day, we went to the den to have some fun, relax, and enjoy each other’s company. We stayed in that place for hours. The sun was setting when we finally left. When I got to my car, my little sister, Vanessa, texted me asking if I was okay since I hadn’t returned home in the time she would see me.

“Ah, crap. I gotta head home. My sister is getting worried,” I said, texting my sister that I’d be home soon.

“You’d better hurry back then,” Yosefin said.

“Do you got enough juice in that board?”

“Ja!” She turned on the board. The battery meter blinked green to show a nearly full charge. “So,” she mumbled with a smile on her face. “I’m not weird or anything disgusting of the sort?”

“Nope, but this is a new thing I’ll have to understand. I’m all for getting to know you more.”

“You still wanna talk with me?” It amazed me that she would ask a question like that. I wanted to remind her of the hours we spent together, but I dismissed that thought because she tends to overthink things. It was an honest question, plus she looked eager for my response.

“Yes, Yosefin. Is that what you want to hear?” She nodded her head rapidly, then gave me a tight hug with my arms locked to my sides.

“Yay,” she whispered with controlled excitement. “Ich hoffe, ich werde keine Enttäuschung sein, mein Freund. (I hope I won’t be a disappointment, my friend.)” I didn’t understand a word she said, but I knew the last two words. Her German was so pronounced that it felt like I was being coached in the nicest way possible. She didn’t look mad, so it must’ve been a joke.

“That sounded scary.”

“You understood what I said?”

“No,” I nervously chuckled. The back of my throat felt dry, so I had to swallow hard to lubricate it. “Just those last two, I know. I have zero clue what you said for the rest.”

“Oh,” she smiled tightly, like she was planning something sinister.

“What did you say?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, rolling her eyes as she lightly giggled. “Text me when you get home.” She stood on top of her board, then slowly took off, waving goodbye. “See you later, Josh!” With that, she zoomed out of the garage.