Forever Love

It’s been twenty-seven days since I graduated from Oakwood University. It’s been twenty-six days since I last kissed Justin Wordsworth. Justin is my forever love. We’ve been engaged for two long years. It’s been an impatient journey on my part. And a slow commitment on his.

Kyle Colby, my best friend, introduced me to Justin three years ago during our Sophomore University Honor’s Banquet. I sometimes think Kyle regrets Justin and I became a couple in the first place. It’s not my fault that Justin’s lips taste so good. At the banquet, we kept talking and flirting; two hours after meeting him, we were making out in the back of his pick-up truck. We’ve been a hot item ever since.

Being in love is a beautiful adventure, full of endless pathways and doors. For me, my life is just about to unfold with my upcoming wedding to Justin Wordsworth. Ah, Justin, the reason all the girls swoon, and all the boys grow envious.

Kyle and Justin were roommates for three years at university. I was always interested in meeting him, but for some reason, Kyle decided to become my bodyguard and kept most of the boys away. I love Kyle for his efforts to protect me, but something in him has been different lately.

“Maddie, do you want to get some coffee?” Kyle asks as he pulls a wallet out of his jeans. He’s wearing his usual grey tight hoodie that tightens around his back and arm muscles. I won’t pretend I haven’t noticed his workout routines. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, and he’s been motivated to get ripped to attract them. But unfortunately, he’s turned them all down to pursue his dream of joining the army.

“Sure, Kyle coffee sounds awesome. But all this wedding planning has me feeling burned out. How come all the other girls don’t get burned out from all this ridiculous shopping and planning.”

“So, stop planning and let Jessica take care of it. She’s still your maid of honor, right?”

“Yeah, she is. I forgot to ask are you bringing a hot plus one to my wedding. You can bring anyone you want.”

Kyle hands the barista a debit card and gives me a large coffee. The contents are so warm. It takes the chill in my body away.

Kyle’s hand brushes against mine. I feel a slight redness rise to my cheeks. Kyle doesn’t say anything and takes a sip of his coffee.

“Are you bringing a date to my wedding?”

“No. I told you I don’t date.” His shoe scuffs the floor, and his fist tightens. He used to tell me about his crushes, but our conversations have shifted, and he doesn’t talk about his love interests.

“Is there a secret man in your life that you want to bring to the wedding?” I ask.

“What are you asking me exactly, Maddie?”

“Kyle, are you bi? It’s totally cool with me if you are. You can bring anyone to my wedding.”

“No, I don’t like men like that. I like women very much. The girl I like is...”

He stops talking, and his face is full of redness. He hasn’t spoken to me like this in a long time. I almost forget that it’s been three years since Jessica dumped him on our annual hiking trip to the Oakwood Forest.

“So, you do like someone? Who is it? You should ask her out.”

“I can’t. She’s in love with someone else. Can we drop this?”

Our eyes meet, and I catch Kyle staring at my lips when they do. The realization causes butterflies to emerge in my stomach. There’s a deep tension between Kyle and me. It’s always been there, but for some reason, at this moment, all I can do is stare back at his lips.

Kyle raises his hand like he’s going to touch my face. Apart of me wishes he would. The unspoken tension between us has bothered me for years, and that tight, squeezing feeling between my legs when he stares at me won’t go away.

I’ve never been in love with Kyle, at least not consciously. But still, that deep tension between us makes me wonder if there was ever a time we should have crossed the line. With my upcoming wedding to Justin, I don’t have time to dwell on what wasn’t. If Kyle wanted me, he would have done something years ago.

My phone beeps as a familiar name pops up on my screen, Justin.

Justin: Maddie, something’s come up.

Me: Like what?

The three little dots tell me he is messaging me back last a lifetime.

Justin: We can’t get married. I’ve decided to be with Jessica.

Me: What are you saying?

The butterflies in my stomach that appeared for Kyle turn into a mob of bats panicking in flight beneath my skin.

Justin sends me a photo of him and Jessica kissing. My best girlfriend has run off with my forever, love. My fiancé has turned my world upside down with a text message.

Kyle keeps talking to me. I’m not sure what he’s saying; my head spins. Large tears run down my face, and Kyle catches them with his thumb. The touch of his hand on my face burns into me.

“Did I say something wrong, Maddie? Look, I’m sorry, okay. I can always take Jessica as my plus-one to your wedding.”

I shake my head back and forth as Kyle hands me a stack of napkins. He doesn’t know I’ve been dumped. It’s not his fault I can’t form words. Instead, I hand him my phone and let him read the text messages. His baby blue eyes scan the text message quickly as his jaw clenches.

“Want me to kick his ass? I’m going to kill him. Nobody cheats on you, not while I’m around. Where is he? I’m going to his house, and I’m going to kill him. No one cheats on the most amazing woman I know.”

Listening to Kyle want to defend my honor surprises me. I knew he would always be there for me. We made a promise to each other in the fifth grade that we would always be there for each other no matter what. Kyle meant those words; he’s beaten up two abusive boyfriends for me in high school. If Kyle wanted to kill Justin, he probably could do it. The butterflies come back; what is going on? Do I have feelings for Kyle?

“Kyle, it’s fine. I probably had this coming anyway. No one wants to be with a girl like me anyway.”

“Stop talking about yourself like that. I can’t stand it. But, of course, someone wants to be with you like that. Justin is too stupid to see how amazing you are.”

The tears on my face are for Justin, the cheater. Maybe I’m worthless after all.

“What’s wrong with me? Maybe there’s something wrong with me. This keeps happening, Kyle. I get into a relationship and build it up in my head, and then...they dump me, cheat on me, or hate me. At this rate, I’m going to die an old cat lady. Can you take me home?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. Would you stop saying that already? All those guys are idiots. They don’t see the real you. You’re going to find someone else who won’t ever want to leave your side. That’s the person you will spend the rest of your life with.”

Kyle’s voice gets higher and louder as a group of our former college peers overhears our conversation.

“Is that the bitch that Justin just dumped? She was such a brat in college.” A tall man says as he laughs. Kyle’s jaw tightens again, and his fist pounds the table.

“Hey, asshat, I know you weren’t talking about Maddie like that.”

“Hi, Kyle. We both know I was talking about her like that. Everyone knows she was Justin’s little slut. I’m glad Justin moved on and put it all over Instagram. It serves Maddie right for whoring herself with you. Everyone knows you two fuck each other.”

“Maddie and I have never...been together. So, you take that back.”

“You mean to tell me you and Maddie don’t have feelings for each other?” The tall man tilts his sunglasses down and looks Kyle in the eyes. Kyle’s whole face turns red, and he doesn’t deny or confirm the accusations coming his way.

“That’s what I thought. Enjoy your slut.” The tall man with the sunglasses turns his back on Kyle, who punches him in the head.

“Don’t turn your back on me. No one says shit about Maddie while I’m around. If you ever try to hurt her, I will come and find you...and I will end you. Get out of here, Jason.”

Jason’s face is covered in blood. Kyle punched him hard enough, and it’s clear to everyone that Kyle is stronger than him. Jason and his friends leave the coffee shop. The manager kicks us out as well for creating a scene. Kyle opens the car door for me and then gets in himself.

The car ride is silent. The events of today have my head spinning. I’m heartbroken about Justin. I was never good enough to be a wife. But why do I always have butterflies in the pit of my stomach when Kyle looks at me with his deep baby blues? The very thought of it makes me blush. I quickly look at Kyle from the corner of my eyes, and suddenly it all makes sense. It’s been us this whole time.

“Kyle, thanks for defending me back there. You really didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I did. Justin hurt you, and no one ever calls my Maddie a slut.”

My heart skips a beat; Kyle has so quickly called me his. Have I been blind to what’s been in front of me this whole time? Kyle slams the breaks as a deer jumps in front of his car. He hit the brake so hard that I grabbed his hand somewhere in the process. I’ve never held Kyle’s hand before. It’s softer than I imagined it to be. Kyle doesn’t move; he’s shaken up from the deer.

“Are you okay?” Kyle asks as he looks at my lips again. The trees around the car create a cathedral of green around us. The wind blows through the open windows, and our car still isn’t moving. Kyle’s thumb brushes against each one of my fingers. This is new territory for both of us. Kyle pulls his hand away as we both look down at our hands. He keeps his eyes on the road.

“I’m okay. The deer just startled me, that’s all.” I keep looking at Kyle’s hand. This urge to touch it again burns in my mind. My skins urns for our fingers to intertwine. I take the first step and let my hand find his again. Kyle’s eyes are surprised, but then his eyebrows relax in approval. He brushes his thumb against all my fingers again. My heart throbs in my chest.

“Maddie, I’m really sorry about what happened with Justin today. You didn’t deserve that,” Kyle says as he lets go of my hand and parks the car.

Kyle gets out of the car and walks toward his favorite spot, the bench out on the dock. He lives at his parents’ house on a little lake. He walks to the bench, and I follow behind. We sit together on the bench and listen to the sounds of water birds and bullfrogs. The sunset is nearing, and it’s hard to believe I am not getting married anymore. I’ve gone from crying to feeling nothing but a dark hollow emptiness.

“Do you really think there is someone out there for me? Or maybe all the good guys are taken, and I am doomed to fall in love with the weirdos.”

“Of course, there is someone out there for you.” Kyle blushes again. He’s been blushing all day, and the thought of it makes my heart jump in my chest again.

“Who? Who in their wildest dreams would want to be with me? There’s obviously something wrong with me. I’m defective.”

“You aren’t defective, Maddie. And I know someone who thinks the world of you?” Kyle looks down at his feet and turns his eyes away from me.

This is the moment I’ve been wondering about our whole lives—the truth about where we stand as friends.

“Who?”

“Umm...well. I do. I... what I mean to say is I think you’re amazing.”

Kyle puts his hand on my face, and it catches me off guard. For a girl who’s just been dumped, I don’t feel abandoned. Instead, my best friend has crossed a line today, one that I’ve always wanted him to cross. An invisible line we have both longed to explore.

“What are you saying?” I ask as my hand finds his. I lean into him and listen to his heart pound.

“I’m saying I’m in love with you, Maddie. I know my timing is off. I should have told you ages ago. But you were so happy with Justin. I couldn’t say anything. I was going to be the weird single guy. But I had to let you know just once.”

I have nothing to say; there are no words for what I’m feeling right now. So instead of talking, I grab his face and pull Kyle in for our first kiss. His lips are soft and are as familiar as I imagined them to be. The squeezing sensation between my legs grows stronger, and it’s hard to hold it all back. This whole time it’s been Kyle, and no matter where life takes us, I know I’ve found my forever love.