Chapter 1 My choice.
Jade.
"Jade!,Jade!, wake up kiddo"
I heard Ray's voice calling me, It was nine am and i had a hang over and i was tired but no!, My father had other plans.I groaned looking at my late mother's wrist watch on my hand.
"Go away" I said hidding my head under my pillow.Ray opened my bedroom door and opened my curtains.
"Arrrghh! Light" i groaned turning around facing the other way,i heard Ray's chuckle before sitting on my bed.
"I have bad news for you kiddo" he said and judging by his awkward silence before speaking again i knew what he wanted to say.
"I got a call from a friend of mine who works near the prison, well your ex,your ex they found him on the floor dead" he said dragging the words out of his mouth.
"Oh" i said, He heard how low my voice was and knowing him he thought the news broke me, I started to slowly drift away to my beautiful dream land.I knew the world was a little safe because i killed him.
"I'm sorry kiddo, I knew you loved him even though he put you through hell" He said leaving my room, I heard him shut the door and the first thing that popped in my head was " How is that guy walking after all that alcohol last night.
I slowly got out of my bed and dragged my lazy body to my bathroom, I took off my clothes and took thirty minutes letting the cold water wash my body, I couldn't hear myself think, The loud pounding in my head was too loud, I sat on the bathroom floor, The way the water hit my eyes reminded me of that fateful day even the shower failed to wash away my tears and pain,I let out a horrid scream.
"Ahhhhh!" I felt my whole body relaxing after that scream,I heard Ray knocking and calling out my name but i wanted to be alone.I know he was worried but i wanted to be alone.
"You caused this" I said rocking back and forth on that wet floor, "You sent him that message " i said sinking again in my thoughts, " You are a murderer, You deserve to be alone" i said crying my eyes out, "You killed them" I said before screaming again, "Aaargh!" and that was Ray's cue.Ray kicked down my bathroom door and covered my naked body with my blanket and carried me out of the shower.
"It wasn't your fault kiddo, You didn't kill them, It wasn't your fault" he said walking with me in his arms taking me to my room, My hands where on my face the whole time covering my eyes, When i opend my eyes and saw the worried expression on his face broke my heart.He laid me down on my bed and opened my bedroom drawer next to my bed looking for my anti depression medication.
"God damn it! , Where are those stupid pills?" he said slamming the drawer,He paced up and down running his hand in his hair,He was frustrated.
"In my back pack" I whispered with trembling lips and a tired voice after noticing what i was doing to him.His eyes searched the whole room and when he saw my backpack he quickly opened the bag and threw everything on my bed searching for my medication.I saw his worried expression change and i knew a wave of relief his body when he found them.
"Here kiddo" he said giving me my medication and water, I drank my medication and gave him a weak smile before closing my eyes, I heard him leave my room after two hours of watching me.The medication helped me and After hours of sleep i woke up feeling good, I saw food on my bedroom table even though i didn't want to eat, I had to besides he is a great cook.Ray's huge smile when he saw me coming with my empty plates made me feel guilty.
"I'm sorry" was all i said, and He hugged me.
"It's okay kiddo" he said hidding his own tears behind the same smile.I wanted to tell him what was in my heart but i knew telling him meant stopping my plans and i can't do that.I love Ray, and he makes me feel at home but i had to keep what i was doing to myself.
I sat near him and we both watched the news, After that we sat outside and watched the sun going down.
"I love watching how the sun goes down it reminds me of how my enemies will go down" i said, Ray turned around and said.
"Kiddo you must know that the world needs you and you must Finnish your education too"
"I know and thank you" i said and he chuckled, We both got inside his house, and i had a few things i needed in my room.
I sat down thinking about my next move,I knew it wasn't going to be easy,I was living with a super cop and he will find out soon but i prayed that he must find out when i am done. I needed some where to keep my things, Ray must keep the picture of the helpless girl in his mind not the other version of me.Ray got a call from work and left the house, and that was the opportunity i needed.I called the guy who helped me get that poisonous pill, I knew my ex will drink that pill, He had no choice after all the judge gave him a life sentence.
That was not enough for me, I wanted the death penalty but the law saved him, He was going to live while my family rot in their graves, That didn't sit well with me,The love i once felt for him was gone and i was left with hatred and guilt.
"ring, ring, ring"
"Hello" he picked up.
"It is done, thank you" i said.
"No thank you,you have no idea how many people are now safe" He said and i heard how excited he was, His voice gave him up.
"Someone had to do it" I said before hanging up.
The guy who gave me the pill lost his brother to drugs, My ex used his brother as a testing rat and that was before i met him, I thought he was poor and a metal head like me, He told me that all those homeless people i saw at his house where there because he was taking care of them. He told me that all the people i saw smoking where not doing drugs, I thought because he drank a lot and chose to help the people he was helping people shunned him for that. Who helps the homeless these days?, People are too busy focusing on their lives and he was doing the right thing and that is why i was attracted to him.
I never cared about fancy stuff or money or how he looked like, All i wanted was love and attention and he gave me that. He was a perfect lover and a devil. After all the research i did, I found out that i slept with the devil and i am paying for that.
"Child you are going to kill me one day" The vison of My mom reading my school repor appeared in my eyes and I heard her voice in my head and i wanted to cry, My emotions were getting the best of me.
"I finally did it mom, I killed you" I said clossing my eyes.
