Go-en

It’s been seven years since I graduated from the prestigious university and became part of the research project in the Department of History of Civilisations. Boring as it seemed, the work at first was pleasant and fulfilling, professors were supportive but communication with my colleagues was hard. Intellectual supremacy in academia is as real as wealth supremacy. After a year or two, the subtle digs about my background and the casual dismissal of my skills started to wear me down. I retreated into silence, as the wall was slowly growing between me and everyone else. My aspiration and passion for history and literature began to transform into Sisyphean labor. Despite my work and effort, unfounded criticism made me doubt my abilities as a researcher.“Well, they pay well,” I muttered one evening, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. It was a stark realization - passion had been replaced by a paycheck.

I started playing this game, to get away from this life, from this hunting feeling of disappointment in everything and everyone including myself. “Mystic Realms: Chronicles of the civilizations” was an action-adventure series set in a an open-world environment, that had two play levels, the adventure-exploration and fight-combat played from a third-person view in which the player primarily assumes the role of mythical characters from around the world. You can have any profession starting from law-level potion seller to the master of the alchemist guild, from newbie adventurer to skilled explorer, from petty criminal to a pirate or member of a crime syndicate. I wanted to be invisible but at the same time important, i wanted to know a lot of people and be unimportant, I wanted to be a pc player with a duty and purpose, but to be free and make my own decisions. So I started my own ’Mizu’s barter shop. It took me one year to become well well-known middleperson. I met and helped to barter characters from a different background and social standing, after repeated interactions I found good friends and made useful acquaintances, and soon I met Jiro.

He was a famous Assassin killer from the second platform, there were mixed reviews on him, he didn’t have friends, he didn’t belong to any brotherhoods and alliances he was a craw of this sandbox. Here he was a handsome character with a dark purple hooded robe with golden accents, covering half of his face. From all the perks he had his experience level matched his fame in the gaming world. I couldn’t believe my eyes he sent a friend request. I gasped and looked around the room, don’t know to whom I was showing the screen but there must have been at least one ghost or restless spirit, based on the sounds the house was making at night. I covered my mouth with one hand and clicked accept with another.

“can we meet?” message was fast as light

“where” I didn’t even think to ask why

“Know the Unholy cliffs?”

Unholy Cliffs was an important story point, I’ve heard Kassandra’s party was planning a raid in the following days, as it was guarded by Grimhollow, the boss. This area opened a couple of days ago and players were hyped.

“It is not open yet”

“At midnight” he typed and went offline.

It was a pure thrill. I was trying to distract myself with the work, but my brain, like an upstairs neighbor was moving thoughts like pieces of heavy furniture. Who is he or she? how does he or she know me? why me? What does he/she want? I cooked, I cleaned, I was excited... But why? I started early, as I needed to gather certain items before gaining access to the boss arena, I managed to avoid fighting with regular trash mobs, as some parties were already dealing with them. this level was on hold since the boss’s whereabouts were announced. The game allows high-level players to defeat the boss, making it easier for lower-level players to pass through later. Exactly at midnight short victory message was displayed, as always it didn’t say It was a party or solo player. The menacing aura around the area was dissipated. Entrance The metal door with inscriptions in Latin was opened and I walked inside a few seconds after the announcement. My anonymous inbox kept feeling up and a notice bell was ringing like an alarm clock on Monday morning, I was forced to turn off the sound.

“Cliff on the left side, will u manage to climb?” that one was in my inbox but I was too astonished to reply.

Beyond the dark corridor, a breathtaking panorama unfolded. Lush valleys nestled between towering mountains flowed seamlessly into vast gardens adorned with exotic flowers and glistening waterfalls. “Are there rare plants and resources? Peaceful Civilizations, new NPCs? Dangerous creatures? OR cursed grounds? Magical guardians? Hidden knowledge or artifacts?” I was euphoric.

I discovered the cliff he mentioned, it was the farthest and the highest of the location. It took me a couple of minutes to understand how to get there. I had to catch an archaeopteryx that looked like an ugly pink bird with silver feathers. It was flying into the forest on the bottom of the cliff and then I had to use my skills of climbing or jumping to reach the top. I am ashamed to say that I got to the top only after 20 minutes and endless tries. Jiro was sitting on the hieroglyphic boulder. He had already made a shared space so we could chat. I sent him laughing emojis.

“Why are you laughing”

“You are sitting on a rock on the rock”

dots were appearing and disappearing. I guess he couldn’t understand a joke and stopped.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked

“I need some information” At that moment I knew that someone started talking and somehow Jiro connected the dots. I was not lying when I said that I wanted to be an important person, important means power and one of the power means is INFORMATION. People talk, especially low-level players, and people forget that you were added to their chat, if you don’t comment, u don’t appear, and if you don’t appear they don’t see you. I started trading and bartering information. About players, quests, perks, and so on...

The gaming world has exploded in the past five years. The introduction of the CellVission console, with its Binocular headset and immersive “real-world” experience, had taken things to a whole new level. People craved the feeling of true connection, of stepping into another world entirely. This shift had brought a surge in interest in my anonymous information-trading services. After a few key posts on popular gaming forums, I found myself with a growing clientele of players eager for any edge they could get. I had to create an anonymous account, and after a couple of posts in common blogchats I got several clients. I found myself craving interactions, with people who don’t know me, what gender I am, what I do, how educated I am, whether am i a professor or a pool cleaner, how much money I have, or did I read Borges.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Do you know how many friends you have?”

“I didn’t know you could see the data”

“You can ” And Jiro showed. It was my mistake, I need to be more careful.

“So what do you need?”

“I am looking for players from so-called ‘Darvin’s squad ”

“Those idiots that are killing newbie players?”

“Yes”

“They got called out on blogchats so they created new characters” “I know that I need their names”

“Ok”

“That was fast”

“You thought I would trade?”

“Yes”

“You massaged Mizu, Not the anonimus. I don’t trade, I barter” “What do you want?”

“You”

The awkward silence was accompanied by snowing cherry petals in the moonlight. the cliff was shadowed by the enormous Sakura. “Don’t get me wrong, I need you as a friend. If you take me once in a while on your quests I can get more information about new places fast.”

“I see, you a journalist or something?”

“No, I am just a curious person. YOU?

“Me?”

“Yes”

“I like killing people”

I don’t know why it gave me chills for a second.

“At least it is with a reason” I tried to joke.

Again awkward silence. Drawing closer, I set on the right side of the rock, to share the view with him. The panorama that stretched before us was a masterpiece, every element shimmering and existing in perfect harmony with the light. The gentle melody playing in the background seemed to fill the air with a blend of nostalgia and raw inspiration.

Following weeks we roamed around the different locations, had numerous adventures, and found beautiful places where we enjoyed talks about our lives and life itself. He was funny and loved to tease and I was always whining about the hardship he made me go through.

After 8 months, Ethereal Realms Entertainment announced the first-ever offline meeting for all players on X, in 3 cities: Tokyo, Hangzhou, and Seoul. They called it “Asian Nexus: Convergence Part 1.” The decision was made right away, OF COURSE JAPAN! I was saving money for this trip for 3 years but due to constant fieldwork, conferences, and teaching duties, I hardly managed to go to the local sauna. Jiro as most of my friends were gathering in Tokyo too.

After 14-hour flight, two train changes and 2 minute walk I arrived at Tokyo Station Hotel. Check-in went smoothly, reception graciously let me check in early. the hotel was marvelous. It was opened in 1915, just a year after the opening of Tokyo Station, and was considered one of the most prestigious hotels in the city. The exterior was made of red brick and features a grand dome. The interior was decorated with all the things I admired elaborate moldings, chandeliers, and stained glass windows. The price tag for a City View King room for smokers was staggering. It cost as much as a three-night stay in a highly-rated (8.3 score) three-star hotel, prompting me to limit my booking to just one night.

The rest of my stay was split between a friend’s place and another luxurious hotel with an open view of Tokyo Tower. Tickets for the gamers’ meeting were expensive, so I could only snag one for the very first day. To save money, I planned my arrival to coincide exactly with the meeting’s start date. It was a very, very bad idea because I was falling into pieces in that beautiful hotel room with this extra large bed. I had to take a shower, but as soon as I saw the bathtub plans changed.

I think I was knocked out. 30 min reminder on the phone woke me up. It was almost 10. I was late. I dried myself fast, called reception and asked to order a taxi for me, opened the suitcase, took out the ready-made outfit similar to my character’s costume, and got happy when in the entrance mirror saw it wrinkle-free.

“Arrived. Sorry, I am late. Will be there in 20 minutes” I texted.

He didn’t respond and suddenly my heart started sinking. My hair was still wet, I rolled down the window and let the hot wind dry it. “Asian Nexus” was held in Tokyo Big Sight, the largest convention center in Japan, a huge complex comprised of several buildings, with weird designs. I saw the most notable section, the conference tower as soon as left the car. The tower featured four inverted triangles balanced on columns. It was an ocean of people, cosplayers, gamers, promoters, stuff... It was loud and messy. It was thrilling. I met several people from Kassandra’s party, guys from the “takers” syndicate and as Jiro didn’t text back took a stroll between the promotion stands. Players were pre-ordering the new, updated Expansions and Sequels. New improved headsets were on sale. I bought iced coffee, which was included in my pass, and takoyaki. Sun was too harsh for September, and as I was swimming against the tide of the people towards the bridge to find shelter in the shadow, I looked up. A flash of movement – a shadow on the sharp corner of the upside-down pyramid – caught my eye before the harsh light could blind me. Slamming the food box shut (it fit perfectly in my bag!), I hoisted the coffee cup like a makeshift flag and weaved through the crowd toward the elevators tucked in the right corner of the bridge. The rooftop, the goddamn geometric monstrosity’s terrace, was the meeting spot!

I jumped over several prohibition signs I guess, they had a lot of exclamation marks. took endless stairs, hid from several people monitoring the perimeter in the corners of the wall, and at last choking back gasps for breath, I lunged for the roof door. Was it my imagination? was it real or my eyes were seeing what I wanted to see? I felt growing anxiety and a change of mood in Jiro last month or two. I gave him the freedom to decide, How could I push HIM when I was extremely agitated myself? Meeting online, in-game gives you the privilege of knowing a person outside the shell. I was peeling myself every time I was going on the quest with a party or Jiro. And now it felt like we both were naked.

I don’t want to doubt myself anymore, I don't want to be disappointed in myself anymore, and I don’t want to shut the door in front of amazing possibilities. So i pushed it wide open.

He was there, sitting at the top of the cliff of the real world. In a black hoody. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and let the cold glass of coffee hug my right cheek. The scent of food emanating from the bag reminded me of a purchase that was inevitably squashed.

I laughed

“Why are you laughing” His voice was deep, strong, and musical. “I bought octopus balls, and I squeezed them”…