Prologue
“I set fire to the rain,
And I threw us into the flames,
When it fell, something died,
’Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time.”
-Adele
They say some things are better left unsaid.
Like how much I still love my wife...even after that psycho woman burned our house down to the ground.
Let me rephrase that...I love my wife, in so much as I know about her.
So how did I not take a guess about her arson fetishes before it was too late?
I’m asking myself the same question, but she’s not talking. Says she never wanted to hurt me in the end but what is this?...What the fuck did she mean by all this?
So I guess it’s also fair, what they say in the firehouse, that I never knew Cassie to begin with...not enough to love her the way I do now.
She’s got secrets.
Everybody’s got those.
Cliche as it sounds, it’s all part of the job. When I step off the rig, I don’t take it home to her...No matter what call keeps me awake at night.
Cass is one of the strongest women I know.
So, it’s not that I don’t trust her enough to tell her these things.
I never wanted her hurt either.
By the things that go on out there on the streets, I mean. The sick things monsters do.
I wish I could’ve protected her from everything she thought I couldn’t.
Or at least convinced her that she never had to face her demons alone.
Who knew in the end, it was me who’d be the one needing protection?
They say some things are better left unsaid, if you can’t think of nothing else nice to say.
But not all “nice girls” deserve nice things...right, Cass?
Here’s to all the shit you could never tell me in the end.
Like about that monster in my bed.
I’m in love with a monster.
---Firefighter Lieutenant Noe Shea
Ladder 210, New York City, Brooklyn
August 2001
