Broken Heart

Amira

“Everything looks good. Your tests results are great and the incision is completely healed.” The doctor states in an excited tone that's a stark contrast to how I currently feel.

“Thank you, Dr. Williams. Is it safe for Amira to attend public school, or should we continue with home schooling?” My mother asks, not bothering to mask her hope that he'll deny my request to attend public school for my senior year.

“I think she should be more than ok to be enrolled in public school. Bear in mind, she'll still get sick easier than most, but exposure helps to build up immunities as well.” My mother nods her head, obviously still weighing the options even with the doctor’s assurance, still trying to find a way to turn this around so she gets her way.

“See? The doctor says it’s okay, mom. Please!” I've been begging my mother to enroll me in public school for years, but after three heart surgeries and more than a total of thirty-six months of my almost eighteen years of life being spent in the hospital, she's been unwilling to concede.

“We'll talk about it more at home, Amira. Dr. Williams, when should we schedule her next checkup?” The doctor gives me a warm smile before looking back at my mom.

“I would like to continue with monthly checkups for now. Speak with Marion at the front desk and she'll get you all set up.” We get my next appointment scheduled before beginning the nearly two hour drive home.

“Mom, please! I've never asked you for anything. I just want my last year of school to be normal…I want to feel normal. It's only one year!” I can see her walls crumbling as her resolve fades away.

“Okay, Amira. I'm telling you now, if your health ends up declining, you're going back to homeschooling.” I let out an excited screech and give her my most genuine smile.

“Thank you!” She finally smiles back at me, unable to fight her happiness over not only my excitement, but the first great doctor’s visit we've had in years.

I was three months old when it was discovered that I had a congenital heart defect that would require surgery, Tetralogy of Fallot. At six months of age, I had my first surgery to correct the issue, but the relief was short lived. It turned out that my immune system was compromised, meaning I get sick far easier than a ‘normal’ person would. I ended up in and out of the NICU then was a frequent visitor in the ICU for several years due to illnesses that affected me much harsher than they did my peers.

By the age of seven, I had my second heart surgery, valve repair, and last year, just before I turned seventeen, I had my third which was a complete valve replacement. I've had to take mountains of medication and do at home heart monitoring twice a day since the day I went home from the hospital. My entire life has been spent with me longing to be like other kids. I wanted to be able to play outside, make friends, have a crush, fall in love, even get my heart broken, but instead I've spent my life inside this house with my only escape being my trips to the doctor or visits to the hospital when I'm sick.

We make it home and I retreat to my room to catch up on my social media page, my only source of communication with people outside of my home and the hospital, before dinner. While we eat, my mother lets me know that she'll be going to the school to get me enrolled tomorrow and I should be able to start Monday. It takes me four hours of laying in bed to finally manage to fall asleep.

Monday morning has finally arrived and I woke up at four in the morning. A little excessive, I know, but hey, I'm excited damn it! I put on the school uniform, making sure to button the shirt all the way in order to hide my scar and finish the final touch ups on my hair and makeup. Unfortunately, the lack of ability to be outdoors and my frequent sick state has left me with a paler than pale complexion. My chestnut brown hair certainly doesn’t help since it only makes my skin stand out more. I head downstairs to eat breakfast before my mom drives me to school and am immediately met with my mother’s worried expression.

“Amira, are you sure this is what you want? It’s not too late to change your mind, sweetheart.” I should probably be annoyed with her overprotective behavior by now, but I'm not naïve enough to not realize how much my struggles have taken a toll on her.

“Mom, I've never been more sure of anything.” She nods and walks over to the counter where her purse is sitting and grabs a small gift bag, setting it on the counter in front of me.

“Then you'll need this.” I can’t contain my excitement as I quickly look into the bag and let out an excited squeal when I pull out a new smart phone.

“This is amazing! Thank you!” She smiles, but the gesture is not enough to mask the worry in her eyes.

“If anything happens, I mean ANYTHING, you call me.” I give her a warm hug before quickly grabbing a protein shake.

“I promise I will, mom.” Once I finish my liquid breakfast, we climb into her car and leave so she can drop me off at school before she goes to work. I had thought I would feel nervous when we reached the school, but as we pull up in front of the large building, my excitement is overwhelming.

“Okay, I programmed my number, Dr. Williams number and your grandfather’s number into the phone. I noticed they schedule you for PE, but I'll call and have that taken care of, but you may have to just sit out for today.” I nod and give her a final hug before exiting the car.

I can feel everyone staring as I walk toward the front of the building with my class schedule and the school map in my hand. There are three buildings and the gymnasium on the campus, but all of my classes aside from PE are in the two that sit closest together, no doubt my mother’s doing. As I walk through the doors, the unfamiliar surroundings and noise of so many people talking at once cause me to stop for a moment to get my bearings.

“Hey, you new here?” A soft, but sweet voice calls from behind me. I turn to find a beautiful blonde with bright blue eyes standing behind me.

“Um, is it that obvious?” We both laugh as she nods her head enthusiastically.

“Oh yeah, VERY obvious. My name's Kelly.” She holds out her hand and I quickly accept it as I introduce myself.

“I’m Amira.” She loops her arm with mine and grabs my schedule with her other hand.

“So, where did you transfer from?” I smile as she looks over my classes.

“I was home schooled, but I wanted to finish my senior year in public school.” She stops and raises her brow.

“We have the same classes except PE. You mean you were homeschooled your whole life?!” I giggle softly at her surprise and nod.

“Yeah. I was really sick and my mom thought it would be easier and would keep me from taking any unnecessary risks.” I can see that she wants to press for more information, but thankfully she drops it for now.

“Well, I'm glad you're here now. I'll walk with you to your classes and you can sit with me at lunch. Since PE is your last class of the day, I'll show you where to go before the bell rings.” She begins pulling me through the clusters of people who are all gathered around talking, leading me to a group that's gathered in front of some lockers.

“Guys! Hey, shut the hell up for a minute! This is Amira. She's new and everyone needs to help her out because this is her first time going to public school.” Everyone mumbles out their shock, but they all introduce themselves, everyone but one stoic looking man that's leaning against the lockers, looking as though he has much better things to be doing than standing here with us. I don’t know if it's the lack of introduction, or the fact that he's simply handsome that draws my attention to him. He's easily over six feet tall with black hair, brown eyes and a body that shows how athletic he is, although his letterman jacket would've given that away too.

“That's Jaden. He's just a grumpy asshole and my brother so just ignore him.” He gives her a playful smirk then flips her off.

“If anyone here gives you any trouble, you let us know.” One of the girls, Sarah, whips out while glaring at Jaden.

“Sarah, Jennifer and I all share your first two classes so no one will be stupid enough to mess with you then.” I give her an appreciative smile.

“My mom will be calling in to have my PE class switched today, do you recommend any electives to replace it?” She smiles excitedly.

“Yes! You can take French with me!” I don’t have the heart to tell her that I've already finished two years of French and speak it fluently, but since I don’t actually need the credit, I decide to go with it. I pull out my phone and text my mom with my request to which she quickly responds with a thumbs up.

“Well, I guess a thumbs up means she's good with it.” She chuckles softly and grabs my phone from my hands then begins typing.

“I'm giving you my number so you can message me if you need anything, during school or after, it doesn’t matter.” I hear her phone ding and she hands my phone back before pulling out her own.

“Let’s get to class before we end up getting stuck in the front row.” Sarah states in a tone that tells me the front row is not a desirable place to be stuck. They lead me down the hall to our first class, Calculus, where e take the seats in the back of the classroom and they take to talking about a party that's supposed to be taking place this weekend.

“Amira, you should come with us! It would be a great way for you to meet new people and you'll have a blast!” I sink down in my chair a little and sigh.

“My mom definitely won’t be okay with that. It took fighting her for nearly twelve years just to get to go to public school.” Kelly frows and waves her hand at Sarah to tell her to stop.

“It’s fine, really. It usually starts out fun, but then some drunken idiots always end up ruining it for everyone. What about the school dance at the end of the month? Do you think she might be ok with you going to that?” While I doubt that she will, I can see a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“Maybe. I'll talk to her about it. I have a few weeks to bug her about it so hopefully she'll cave.” She smiles and grabs my hand, giving it a firm squeeze then letting go as the teacher walks in. The class is uneventful and considering I started school four months after the school year started, the teacher is surprised by how quickly I picked up on the lesson. I could've told him that I learned to do calculus when I was thirteen, but I figured I would just let it be.