Chapter 0: what do I have that’s worth living for?
If I don’t have something that’s worth dying for,
what do I have that’s worth living for?
—Brenda Louise Everhart (1959–2020)
For Brenda, tonight was one of those rare jewels in her life. In the house, it was quiet; Patti and Robert had left to go home with the toddlers. Brenda loved them, but was very grateful when she could finally get the house put back together. Whenever the children came to visit Me-Ma, they found and pulled-out every toy in the house. As a result, the floors throughout the house seemed to be wall-to-wall toys.
Brenda knew that some people would either question or be critical of Robert’s and Patti’s decision to continue her triplet pregnancy. Some would claim that it was impossible for Robert and her to give three babies the love, attention, and material things they would need to be what they should become. They claimed that it was depriving the children of the important things for their lives.
Most everyone that Patti told about the ‘‘three buns in the oven’’ was excited and happy for her. But, there were a few who were of a different opinion and viewpoint. They, convinced that the meddlers at True Hope Crisis Pregnancy Center were brainwashing the women who went in, picketed and protested outside the Center, rain or shine.
The head of the group of protesters, Maria Bascolm, told Patti of the better choice. Because in vitro fertilization was resulting in an increasing number of multiple pregnancies, a procedure had been developed to reduce the pregnancy.
Through her contacts at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City, Maria could arrange for the correction of this problem, this pregnancy that never should have occurred. When Maria broached the subject, she received from Patti a flat-out and emphatic “no.”
Patti, without being arrogant or condescending, explained why her answer was “no.” Unsurprisingly, Patti’s response didn’t change Maria’s opinion, evidenced by the fire in her eyes, her hard facial expression, and opinionated, knife-like comment. “Patti, I don’t know what has happened, but you’ve gotten soft. Before someone brainwashed you, none was better than you.”
So, that night, after everything was put away, Brenda slipped-on a light jacket and enjoyed a cup of coffee on the back porch. As it was almost November, the temperatures were becoming a mixture of cool and warm.
Bitter-sweet would be an appropriate description of the past ten years. Within those ten years, there was death and life, sorrow and joy. If someone had told Brenda what was going to occur, she probably would not have believed them. Also, if Brenda would have had the ability to either change the events, or even some of the results of the events, what would she have done?
Not only was every event and result interwoven, they were absolutely linked together. Because of that linking, Brenda wasn’t sure what she would have done.
Brenda’s thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Answering it, she spoke; “Hello, Brenda speaking.”
“Hey mom, Patti here. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, not at all. I was just enjoying a cup of coffee and thinking about your dad and the events we all have been a part of.”
“I don’t know about you, but I never would have imagined, before it started, what we were going to go through. Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”
“At this point, I don’t have anything planned. Why do you ask?”
“Well, Robert is working tomorrow, and I’d like to get out of the house with the children.”
“What do you want to do? Where would you like to go?”
“I’d thought about either going to Hugh McRae Park, or to Greenfield Lake to feed the ducks. Do you have any other suggestions?”
“Let’s say we go to the McDonalds, near the Piggly Wiggly in Leland, eat lunch there, and then go to the park on 74-76, near Victaulic. There’s a lot of room for them to run, jump, and become worn-out.”
“That sounds good to me. What time do you want me to pick you up?”
“You can be here around 11:15. Since I’ve seen where there is the chance of the weather becoming a little bit cool, be sure to bring jackets for the children. “Patti, while I’m thinking about it, I had a phone call a little earlier that you’ll want to know about. Remind me tomorrow and I’ll tell you about it.”
“Okay mom, I will. See you tomorrow. I love you.”
“I love you too. Good night.”
“Mom, before I hang up, I’ve got to tell you something.”
“What’s that Patti?”
“For the life of me, I can’t figure out where the children get all their energy.”
“You probably never will understand it. That, my dear, is one of life’s mysteries. Welcome to motherhood.”
“Thanks, mom.”
“Anytime. If it’s any comfort to you, I wondered the same thing when you were younger.”
“And?”
“I never figured it out.”
After ending the call, in her mind, Brenda found herself talking to James.
James, I so wish you were still here with me. I miss not having your arms around me. I miss you at night, not being here to share how my day went. You know, we both knew there was a danger in your course of action, but it was worth it. Even though you’re not here, I know you are proud of all the changes.
As Brenda drifted off to sleep later that evening, her final words were, “Thank you, Jesus.”
