Chapter 1
Amara
One year ago
Today is mine and Noah’s 35th wedding anniversary. We married two years after we graduated high school and both went on to follow our career paths. Mine as an elementary school teacher and his as a pediatric doctor. Five years into our marriage, our son Jonas, was born. Although we tried for another baby, it wasn’t in the cards for us.
Noah has his own practice just up the road from our house in the big city of Columbus, Ohio. Born and raised, my whole life has resided here. Although we have done well financially, I’ve never left; not even for a vacation. We’ve always just traveled around Ohio for our getaways. Being a teacher, we tend to take those during the summer break. My husband has other doctors employed at his practice, so he’s able to leave his patients in their care when we go.
Tomorrow we will be leaving early to go on our anniversary trip. Toledo is only a few hours away, but we like to miss all the traffic. Noah is working late making sure the charts are up to date in his absence. He called me about an hour ago saying he’d be at least a few more hours. I know he’s making sure everything is taken care of before we go, but I’m a little disappointed. Not at him, I just wanted to have a nice dinner and have sex with my husband on our anniversary. I’ll get plenty of that this week, though. One thing I can say is, even after 35 years of marriage, our sex life is still as good as it was when we first got married.
If we can’t have dinner in and a night of sex, the least I can do is take dinner to him. Maybe I’ll get a quickie out of it. Grabbing our normal chinese order, I pull into the parking lot and see Lena’s car parked next to Noah’s. Lena is his secretary of six months who replaced Mrs. Bea when she retired. She’s actually Mrs. Bea’s great niece.
The door is locked but thankfully I have a key. Trying to balance my purse, chinese food, drinks, and the keys, I turn the knob and lock it behind me. I’d hate for someone to walk in, especially if my husband has me laid over his desk later. If I have anything to say about it, he will have me all over his office. He loves to role play. We use secretary/boss a lot and he fucks me every which way every time.
The desk in the lobby is free of magazines, pens, and business cards. Lena likes to keep a tight ship, including a good dusting and vacuuming each day; hence the desk free of debris. Hopefully the food doesn’t leak over the clean counter as I set it down. Unbuttoning the top two buttons of my blouse, I wrap my hair into a bun and find a pencil to hold it in place and go in search of Noah.
As I get to his office, I see the dim light from his desk peeking through the cracked door. I hear them before I see them.
“Oh, Dr. Stewart! Fuck me just like that!” Lena screams.
“My naughty secretary. Next time you’ll file those charts like I asked, won’t you?!” I hear my husband groan. Why I didn’t turn around and run, is beyond me. Instead, I push the door open and watch the man I’ve been married to for 35 years spank his secretary’s ass cheeks as he’s fucking her from behind. They don’t notice me at first; they’re too into the moment.
“If this is my punishment, I’ll never file your charts! Fuck, your cock was made for me.” she moans.
“And your pussy is addictive. I knew the moment you walked in six months ago, it’d be mine. What was it? Three days before I had my face buried in your sweetness?” he asks as he continues to fuck her.
“It would have been sooner, but your wife came by both nights before that. You better get your fill. It’ll be a week before you get another taste.” Lena smirks.
“I’ll be thinking about you when I fuck her.” he hisses as he gets close to coming. I know. I’ve heard that same hiss more times than I can count over the past 38 years since our first time.
“Oh my God! Mrs. Stewart! It’s n-not what i-it looks like!” Lena gasps when she finally notices me standing at the door.
“Shit! Amara, what are you doing here?!” Noah yells, pulling out of Lena so fast his dick bounces against his belly.
“You’ve been fucking your secretary for six months and all you can do is ask what I’m doing here?! Are you serious?! It’s our ANNIVERSARY!!” I scream.
“Honey, I’m sorry. It was a mistake!” he exclaims, pulling up his pants.
“A mistake? A misTAKE?! For SIX months?! Oh my God. Oh. My. God! Noah, she’s young enough to be our daughter! I can’t. I can’t talk to you right now. I’m going home. It’s best you don’t follow. My attorney will be in contact.” I say in shock.
“Mar, come on. Please, I love you! Don’t do this!” he yells after me when I run out the door.
Speeding out of the parking lot, I make it home in record time. When I lay eyes on the roses sitting on the porch, the tears spill down my cheeks. Oh, please Lord. Please let me wake up from this nightmare. Tires screeching to a stop and Noah rushing over to me, solidifies it. I’m awake and my husband is having an affair.
“Honey, please let me explain. Oh fuck, I’m so sorry. I think I was going through a midlife crisis or something. Lena basically threw herself at me and I was wrong for not stopping it. And for allowing it to continue. Don’t leave me, Mar. I can’t live without you.” Noah begs.
“How many times did we role play that same scenario? I knew you got turned on more with that one, but I just thought it was a fantasy of yours. But it wasn’t JUST. It was a fantasy that you made a REALITY! Noah, she’s 30 years old! You are almost TWICE her age!” I shout. Although I have to admit, he doesn’t look a day over 40. 6’ tall, lean, and fit. At 55, we are both in great shape for our age. It’s only been over the past year that I’ve noticed a little weight gain on my part. Menopause will do that to you.
“What can I do for you to forgive me? I’ll do anything. Mar, please don’t throw 35 years of marriage out the window because of my mistake. It won’t happen again. I promise.” he pleads.
I want to believe him, but this wasn’t just a mistake. This was six months of betrayal. How many times did they have sex? Did he talk about me? Was I no longer enough for him sexually? I always thought our intimacy was strong, especially after all of these years. We had a very active sex life. Hell, sometimes too active where we’d make love before he went to work, have a quick fuck at lunch, and still want each other that night. It wasn’t always like that, but our normal was five times a week.
“Noah, I really want to believe you. But I don’t. I can’t ever trust you again. It’s over. I want a divorce. You can have the house and everything in it. I will take half of what’s in our accounts and find another place.” I say sadly.
“What about Jonas?” he asks.
“Our son is 29 years old and has a life of his own. He will be just fine.” I explain. “Not to mention, don’t you dare try to fucking guilt trip me. YOU are the one who did this. NOT me!” I shout.
“I’m sorry, Amara! I fucked up! Lena means nothing to me. It was just sex!” Noah cries.
“Well, “just sex” ruined our marriage. I hope you can live with that, because you won’t be living with me any longer.” I say as calmly as I can.
“I’m not leaving. This is my home, too.” he snaps.
“Fine. I’ll pack my stuff tonight and be gone tomorrow. You will not be sleeping near me tonight, do you understand?” I ask.
Noah doesn’t respond as I walk to the porch, pick up the vase of roses, and slam them on the sidewalk. He doesn’t respond when I walk inside our beautiful home, breaking everything in my path. Nor does he respond when I fall to the floor in sobs as reality hits me directly in the face. My marriage is over. The man I thought I could trust with my life has destroyed everything.
“Mar, you’re bleeding.” he whispers as he sits down next to me on the floor. Glass is shattered everywhere. My heart is shattered right along with the pieces littering the walnut flooring.
“Leave me alone, Noah.” I cry. He doesn’t listen as he lifts me up into his arms and carries me to the kitchen. Exhaustion takes over, sucking what little fight I had left from my body. He wipes the blood from my legs and reaches for the first aid kit tucked in one of the cabinets.
“Oh, honey. You need stitches. Stay put, I’ll be right back.” he sighs. I hear the front door open and then the crunch of glass as he rushes back to the kitchen carrying his medical bag. Time seems to stand still as Noah stiches me up. I don’t even feel the pain as the needle pricks my skin. My heart on the other hand, is a different story. “Cover the stitched area with these before you shower. At least for the next few days.” he says, handing me several packs of waterproof dressing.
All I can do is nod. Even after what I walked into, seeing my husband’s cock buried in his secretary’s pussy, I still can’t help but love him. Feelings just don’t go away that quickly. Oh, how I wish they did.
“I’m going to shower and go to bed. I’ll sleep in the guest room.” I say softly.
“Amara. I’m truly sorry. I love you. I know that doesn’t help, but I need you to know that.” Noah says as I reach the stairs.
“You’re right. It doesn’t help.” I reply, feeling defeated.
After my shower, I crawl between the cool sheets in one of the six bedrooms. I chose the one furthest from our room, which is directly across the hall from Jonas’s. Granted, he hasn’t lived at home for years, but his things are still as they were before he moved out.
Jonas lives in North Carolina with his wife and two children. My grandson Jonas Jr. (JJ), is 5 and my granddaughter Jasmine, is 3. My son moved his family a few years ago when he was given the opportunity to teach at Duke University. Pride can’t even describe what I feel for Jonas.
Hours pass before my eyes close, welcoming the sleep I’ve been praying for. I dream of my wedding day and the vows Noah promised for the rest of our lives. I dream of the birth of our son, of the happy memories we’ve shared for almost four decades, and of the way he always took care of me. Emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Even in my dream, I can still feel his touch. The softness of his hands as they trail lightly over my breasts; teasing me as he moves down over my stomach before reaching my sensitive spot. Noah and I were both virgins when we got together, but the way he eats pussy, you’d think he took classes. Even in my dreams, I can feel the way his tongue circles my clit while his fingers pump inside me.
“You can’t deny it, Mar. You still love me. You still want me.” Noah moans, bringing me out of my dream. My eyes open to find my husband settled between my legs; his lips and tongue teasing my clit as two fingers curl against my g-spot. I try to fight it, but he knows my body so well. My orgasm crashes through me almost instantly.
“Noah!” I scream out with pleasure and shock. Before I can resist, he crawls up my body and slides his shaft deep into my wet pussy.
“Fuck, I have always loved how you fit tightly around my cock.” Noah groans as he begins to move. “Amara, I love you. Please don’t leave me. Do you feel it? We still have that connection.” he breathes in my ear.
“I love you too, Noah.” I admit. Of course I love him. But that doesn’t change what he did.
My husband takes advantage of my reaction, pulling multiple orgasms from me before succumbing to his own. Selfishly, I allow it because I know this will be the last time I ever feel him against me, in me, next to me. Noah rolls over and pulls me close, wrapping his arms tightly around my body.
“We can make this work. I’ll call first thing in the morning and make us an appointment for marriage counseling.” he whispers. What he doesn’t know is, I won’t be here when he wakes up. There is nothing he can do or say to save our marriage.
Noah is sound asleep as I unwrap myself from his embrace. He mumbles something in his sleep but rolls over and proceeds to snore. I need to hurry before he wakes up and tries to stop me from leaving.
Rushing around, I grab pictures, keepsakes, and important paperwork; tucking the items into a few boxes. He can have everything else. Anything left behind is built on lies anyway.
One year later
My divorce with Noah is final. Normally it wouldn’t take a full year, but he refused to sign the papers; even after moving Lena into our home the day after I left.
I rented a small apartment while I waited for the final judgment to arrive in the mail and then packed everything I own into my car and am now headed south. Leaving the only place I ever called home is hard, but I can’t stay. Knowing my husband, correction….EX-husband, is roaming the streets with his secretary, I have to leave for my mental health.
I found a house in a very small town about an hour and a half from where Jonas lives. Big cities now suffocate me, making me feel exposed, if you will. I want solitude, peace, and to be left alone. Not from Jonas or my grandchildren, but everyone else.
Being that I’m still not at retirement age, I applied for a teaching position at the local elementary school, which per the maps, is walking distance from the house I bought. My interview is with Liam Bennett tomorrow, the principal at the school.
I’m not sure what normal is anymore, but I’m looking forward to finding a new normal. One that doesn’t include starting over in the love category.
