Searchin | BRENT FAIYAZ

"Again."

"Again."

"Again!"

Sweat drips down Amari's face as she tries to catch her breath, fighting through the pain. She's been at this for about two hours now and this lady was not letting up. No matter how many Jetes she did it still wasn't good enough for her. Everything had to be perfect. No mistakes. No excuses. The tears that used to stain her face didn't phase the older lady at all, so it was dried now and she didn't feel anything at all except her heart beating fast and the numbness.

She could see the disappointment in my mother's face now. If i gave up. If i told her to go screw herself and walk out of rehearsals but instead here i am hours later with splinters in my feet.

"Thats all for today, Amari."

A tired Amari falls to the ground and lies there panting heavily. She places her palm against her forehead and laughs a little. Thats all she could do was laugh through the pain. But what was all this pain worth really

Getting up she slightly limps to the changing rooms and the other girls are dressed and some about to go home. They were from other classes. She had private lessons today which her mother paid a hefty fee for.

"Damn, miss Anna put ya ass to work today, huh?" Karina says jokingly but in a worried manner.

"Yeah, but its nothing I'm not used to." she sits down and takes off her pointe shoes and the bandage wraps are completely soaked in blood.

"You should come out to Jaheim's little get together." she says slinging her bag over her shoulder.

Amari looks up at her. "That boy never has small get togethers Karina."

"Yeah yeah, well you coming or not?"

"Wait...are yall..?"she raises a brow suspiciously but before she can finish, Karina interrupts. "If you bout to say fucking, no we aren't."

She lying through her teeth right now. "Whatever you say." Amari tries to hide her smile.

"Well, you can stay here and die a horrible death with that old hag but I'm going to have a few drinks tonight, so I'll catch you later. Text me."

The room empties out slowly and Amari gathers all her things and makes her way home. It's close to campus so the drive is only about ten minutes. The only perks of college was moving out her mother's house. She barely seen her when she lived at home but when she did see her it was only brief. Her mother was a big lawyer in New York City. Amari didn't have any siblings so being the only child left her lonely at times. All she knew was ballet and being a good student. By the time she could walk her mother threw her in classes. From gymnastics to cheer to anything that didn't have her daughter in her face. She would constantly remind Amari that failure wasn't an option. And speaking of the devil when she got out the bath her caller id popped up on her phone.

"Amari why haven't you answered my text?"

"Well hello to you to mother." On the facetime call she's in her office. She has on a red suit and her hair is in a updo. Her confidence and attitude made her beauty even though she was already a beautiful woman. When she walks into any room all eyes are always on her, she always had that effect. Amari always felt bad for anyone going against her in the courtroom. The lady was a lion and growing up she always wanted to be brave like her but were complete opposites.

"How's your classes?" she asks.

"They are fine." she gives her short responses, and she doesn't even seem to catch onto it. As the conversation continues its only about school and expenses. It's never about how she's actually doing and feeling.

"Alright, I'm going to bed." Amari says growing tired of the conversation.

"Okay i have a client coming in now ill talk to you later." with that she hangs up.

"Love you too mom.." she mumbles. A few moments later scrolling on her phone she gets a notification from her bank.

$12,000 deposited into checking account.

Her mom gave her money once every two months for living expenses and that didn't mean school, she paid for that separately herself. It gave her some independency but at the same time it didn't. Still relying on her and she had control over her life. Being too busy with school a part time job was out of the equation.

After getting on Instagram, she sees that Karina posted on her story. It was her at the "little get together" and there was an arm around karina but she couldn't see the face. She swipes up 'That tattoo look a little familiar i think his name begin with a J' she teases.

A few minutes later karina replies back. 'heffa dont worry about me and get ya ass over here all the fioneee men out tonight', she sends the address and Amira shakes her head laughing and puts down the phone.

After pondering over if she should go out or not she finally decides to find something to wear in her closet. Leaving her apartment she and drives to the party. Pulling up music was heard from outside. She sent a text to Karina telling her that she's here. Making her way into the house the smell of marijuana and liquor hits her nostrils.

It isn't an unpleasant smell but it's one she's never used to. A few familiar faces is seen from school and some never seen before. Jaheim was a student that went to their university and had all the kickbacks at his place. She never really mixed with his crowd, but Karina started getting close to him this year and poor Amira was dragged along. They were from different backgrounds considering the both of them grew up in the suburbs.

"Ari over here." Karina sat on Jaheim's lap on a couch with a couple other people next to them and on the other sofas. Amira walks over to the couple and there's clearly no room for her to sit so she stands there awkwardly. Karinas too busy sucking face to notice. "I'm going to go get a drink."

Finding the kitchen and a red cooler on the floor she opens it and its full of beer. Not grabbing anything she closes it disappointed.

"Not a fan of Budweiser?" A deep voice says from behind. Turning around in front of her is the finest chocolate man. He has a pre-roll behind his ear and a red cup in his hand with a joint lit between his fingers. Tattoos scattered his body and he had a small stache and beard. His cornrows were probably a couple days old from what she could tell. But his lips is what really caught her attention, they were so full.

"Yeah they make me bloated, actually liquor does too." she felt like a dummy telling a complete stranger this but she wasn't used to talking to men and his aura was overpowering hers at the moment.

Im sorry i failed mom.

"Aint nun wrong with that, might be a good thing. You smoke?" he asks gesturing to his joint.

"u-um yeah. sometimes," she says trying not to sound like it was a lie.

He chuckles a bit and pulls it back towards him hitting it. "Nah, I've only done it like once honestly." she confesses.

"You a good girl, I like that." he smirks taking another hit. Shes taken back by what he says. He just says it so calm.

Not sure what to say but before she can say anything a guy comes in and they start to converse. Not making it anymore awkward than it already is she decides to find somewhere to sit for a while.

The back patio had less people out there and open chairs so she sat in one and just scrolled on her phone. Some time passes by and someone joins sitting down on the chair beside her. That certain someone being the guy she talked to earlier in the kitchen.

"Knew i would find you out here." He was actually looking for me?

"I needed some air." It wasn't a lie this time she just didn't want to be in there anymore and Karina was booed up so there was no reason for her to stay.

"I can tell this aint really yo type scene."

"Yeah, but we are only young once, right?" she looks at him and his eyes are low indicating he was high as a kite right now.

"Yeah, you right about that fasho." he licks his lips and leans back in his chair. God this man was oozing sex appeal.

"You go to school with Jaheim?" she asks.

"Nah, Jah is my cousin. I come to these parties to look out for his lil ass. He always getting caught up in some shit." he pulls his shades down on his face.

"Oh." it's a short silence and she plays with the hem of her shirt out of habit.

"You Karinas friend?" he asks breaking the painful silence.

"Yeah. I met her freshman year. We take ballet together."

"Oh, so you a dancer, that's wassup., what you major in?" He genuinely seems interested.

She cant hold her laughter in when he asks. She can't see his eyes because of his shades thank god but she knows he was looking confused.

"Sorry, it's just anytime someone asks me that i can't take myself serious. But I'm majoring in business, but the main focus is dance."

"Whys that?"

She sighs. " Dancing is looked down upon in the career industry. Anything that has to do with fine arts is. No one believes we are good enough to make a living from what we do." Her mother being one of them and that's why she makes sure she practices until she can't anymore. And if not she'll just go work for her business firm she owned. Which is why taking business classes wasn't an option.

Am i going mad for laughing in his face like that? Shit. "Nah I'm sorry if I offended you in any way." he apologizes.

"It's okay you didn't know. And honestly i hate it." She didn't know why she was telling him this so bluntly, but he was easy to talk to.

"Dancing? Why?"

She sighs and looks at the clear night sky. "It just isn't me...but at the same time i don't really know what is I guess."

He nods. "It aint nun to beat yourself up about love, you'll find it eventually. Especially being in college and all, not everyone still knows what the fuck they doing."

She nods. He did have a point. "And if we being honest now, you caught my eye when is seen you walk in earlier." Suddenly she feels her chair being pulled closer to his. He leans in a little and she can smell his cologne mixed with what he's been smoking tonight.

His closeness brings butterflies to her stomach. "We been talking all this time and i still dont know your name." shes trying to hide her nervousness.

"Christopher but i go by Brent."

"So you'd prefer if I called you brent?"

"You can call me whatever you beautiful." He smirks licking his lips. If the butterflies were going to die down any soon she was gladly mistaken, it just gotten worse.

"Amari, thats ...my name." she sorts of blurt out.

"Amari...amari." He smirks nodding repeating her name a couple more times in a hushed tone that is still audible enough for her to hear.