Tick-Tock, goes the watch on my hand as I stare out onto the field full of gray. A pitter-patter of rain falls onto me, falling off my hood and hitting my face, but I feel nothing but numbness. The sounds of fast steps and honking cars file in next, all trying to find shelter from the pitch black storm that’s soon to come. I check my watch again, telling me that I’ll be late if I don’t get a move on soon, but I’m still reluctant to get up. Is there really a point to anything anymore? I think to myself. I have nothing left to fight for. My shining light was buried in a mountain of grief long ago. I let out an uncontrollable laugh, shaking my entire body. There really is nothing left for me. Nothing left of me. I’m just a hollow shell, floating through a world that doesn’t care, doesn’t help, yet always wants. Always taking bits and pieces until you finally realize that you’re no more. Nothing but a husk of your former self.
Tick-Tock, goes the watch on my hand again. I find myself getting up from my spot and slowly walking towards the fields of the dead, but I’m not in control anymore. Tombstones jut out of the ground, telling stories and storing memories that will be forgotten in the times to come. My body carefully navigates its way through the graveyard as the rain continues its relentless downpour, accompanied by sledgehammers of lightning that drop from the sky. I don’t hear the sounds of the cars anymore, just the pounding of my own thoughts that are almost as loud as the sky. My footsteps are muffled as I move along the muddy ground with blades of yellowing grass peeking out after years of neglect. There are no flowers, no fanfare as I make my way deeper into the cemetery. Everything around me screams quiet, yet the sounds that I hear are loud and clamorous.
Tick-Tock, goes the watch on my hand over the roar of the storm, a constant reminder of my morality. Pools of filthy water form all around me, but I keep on walking, all the way until I’m face to face with a lone tombstone at the very end of the graveyard. A bittersweet feeling fills me up as I stare longingly at the white marble. Even through the haze of the rain, I can still envision the day that she was buried. The cries and the sorrow that I still carry around with me. The day she was buried, a part of me was buried alongside her. I still remember her bright smile, her honeydew eyes, and her laugh. But that’s all gone now.
Tick-Tock, goes the watch on my hand. Time is a fickle thing. Without it, we would have no reason to live and dream. But it also slowly strips everything from us, like bark on a willowing tree until everything becomes an inescapable void. Take my word for it. Don’t be fooled by the security of your everyday life. Live every moment to the fullest and enjoy the time you get with the people you love. Because we can’t control time. And we never will.
