OUT OF ORDER
★━━━━－－－－－－━━━━★
character
・Woman
・Student
★━━━━－－－－－－━━━━★
A square plate or sheet is put on the stage. (It is an elevator.) The woman is waiting for the elevator.
W: (Talking on the phone) Yes, well… Should be no problem, I will be there in five minutes.
I am already on the ground floor.
The student enter.
W: Alright, later. Cheers!
The elevator arrive. (Bell sound & Door opening sound) They take it. (Door closing sound)
The student push the button. The elevator goes up, but it stops. (Sound.) The two look at each other.
W: Has the lift broken down?
S: (surprised) Oh, well… you mean, this elevator, right? Maybe yes, I think it’s out of order.
W: Whatever shall we do?
S: If we press this, we should be able to contact someone outside.
Push the button. (Sound.)
S: うわ、まじか。Um… It’s also out of order.
W: I cannot use my mobile. I have no signal.
S: Me too.
W: Does that mean… you can use it?
S: No I can’t. Ah, now I remember! I should have said “Me neither.”
W: I understand.
S: Sorry, I’m not good at speaking English.
W: Are you Japanese?
S: Yes, well, aren’t you also Japanese?
W: I am Japanese, but I had lived in the UK longer than Japan. I have just come back to Japan. To be honest, I cannot speak Japanese well.
S: I see. …So… Now, what should we do?
W: We cannot fix the lift. Well, let us just wait a little. It may start to move…
S: I forgot to ask you, what is a “lift”? Is it the same as an elevator?
W: Hmm, we call this a lift, but most Americans call it an elevator.
S: Ah, that make sense. We only study American English at my school.
W: They sometimes use completely different words even though it represents the same meaning.
S: Interesting. …Wait! Did the air con stop? It’s getting hotter.
W: Can you repeat that?
S: Did the air con stop… Oh, I made a mistake again!
W: Wait, I want to guess what the air con is.
S: Do you?
W: You want to say the air conditioner, right?
S: Yes!
W: I think I have heard that before. So you mean the air conditioner might have stopped.
S: It’s getting hotter, isn’t it?
W: You are right. It is also out of order!
S: This is a nightmare! Ugh, I want to have some soft cream right now!
W: What is that? All creams are soft, are they not?
S: Oh, don’t you say “soft cream”? I mean, hmm, it is a type of ice cream that is softer than regular ice cream. We usually have it with a cone.
W: Ah! Like this?
S: Yes!
W: We call it soft serve.
S: Is this also a difference between American and British English?
W: I do not think so. It may be a Japanese word.
S: I see. I know that some Japanese words sound like English.
W: That is confusing. Wow, it is getting hot in here! I also want to have “soft cream”.
S: If only I could open it!
W: Can we open it by hand?
S: Impossible!
W: How do you know? Have you ever tried before?
S: Well… Of course, I haven’t.
W: You never know what you can do till you try.
S: This door? Oh,my! No way!
W: Come on!
S: OK, OK. …But just this once!
W: 1, 2, 3,
W: PULL!
S: PULL!
S: …See? I TOLD you. We can’t open it!
W: Well, Try to think positively rather than negatively. “Little and often fills the purse.”!
S: You mean, “A person that is always shooting must sometimes hit.”?
W: Yes.
S: So next, why don’t you hit the door?
W: Sure.
S: Hey, I was joking, don’t take me seriously!
W: Come on!
S: OK, OK. …But this is the last time!
W: 1, 2, 3,
The elevator is shaken.
S: (Scream)
W: (Scream)
S:やばいやばいちょっと待って！
W: Oh my goodness!
The elevator stops moving.
S: Phew. It may be all right.
W: What will happen if we fall?
S: I don’t want to imagine that.
W: What floor is this?
S: Well, we took the elevator – or lift – from the first floor, right?
W: I do not think so. I entered the building from the outside and directly went to the lift hall. I did not take the escalator or go up the stairs.
S: So…from the first floor?
W: No I did not. I entered from the ground floor.
S: What is that? Isn’t that the first floor?
W: Going upstairs from the ground floor, you will go to the first floor.
S: Huh? It doesn’t make sense.
W: Ah, I know! This is also a difference between American English and British!
S: めんどくさ！
W: What?
S: Oh, I said, this is so difficult.
W: In British English, we start counting from the ground floor, then the first, and the second.
S: And Americans start from the first.
W: Anyway, we took from the GROUND floor, uh, now I think… we are on the fourth floor?
S: That means… For me, the fifth.
The two look at each other.
W: NO WAY!
S: It’s like a jet coaster, without a safety bar!
W: Wait, what? A jet coaster?
S: It this also Japanese English? It is a type of amusement park ride.
W: A roller coaster?
S: Maybe, yes. People ride along the track in open cars. It goes up and down very fast, everyone screams like (She drops her bag. Sound.)
The elevator is shaken.
W: (Scream)
S: (Scream)
The elevator stops moving.
W: Hey!
S: It’s not my fault?!
W: Your bag is too heavy! What do you have?!
S: My textbooks! Math, history, Japanese, English, and so on. Of course it’s heavy!
W: Oh, are you a student?
S: Yep. I think I said that.
W: You may be right, but I thought you were older. Your English is pretty good. Do you have any friends who speak English?
S: I have a pen pal. Well, I met her on the Internet, so I don’t really know much about her.
W: Ah, I have a pen pal who I met in the same way.
S: Oh, really? I’ve received a few letters, and the stories about her country were very interesting. Also, her complaints about her work always made me laugh.
W: Since she has never met you before, she can be honest. Well, that is why you are good at speaking English.
S: No way! My English is often incorrect, you know.
W: But we are having a conversation right now.
S: Well, I don’t understand correct pronunciation and I don’t have enough vocabulary. I always guess.
W: Vocabulary is important, but… The idea of “correct pronunciation” seems too narrow.
S: You mean…
(The buzzer sounds)
W: Did you press something?
S: No, of course, no.
W: OK, I believe you.
S: Did you press something?
W: No.
S: So, what happen?
W: Hmm…
S: What are we going to do?
W: Can we fix it?
S: …You never know what you can do till you try.
W: You are right!
S: I was joking!
The woman open the door under the button.
S: あけちゃったよ…。
W: I do not have any tools. Do you have some... Well, do you have a screw driver or somethings like that?(It is joking for her. She think no one usually have a screw driver.)
S: YES, I do!
W: ...Really?!
S: Here.
W: Oh... well, thank you.
The woman are trying to fix the lift. The student watches.
S: What were we talking about again?
W: “correct pronunciation”.
S: Now I remember. What did you want to say?
W: Well, there are many ways to speak Japanese, right?
S: A regional dialect?
W: Yes, like Kyushu, Okinawa…Do you have a hammer?
S: YES, I do!
W: Really?!
S: Maybe, wait a second…oh, please go on.
W: OK. Same as Japanese, there are many types of English. Not only American and British English have proper pronunciation.
S: Is that because English is spoken all over the world?
W: Yes, and because the way of speaking is also an identity.
S: But…well, you may be right. …Hey, I couldn’t find my hammer, but I found this. It totally slipped my mind.
W: What is it?
S: あずきバー。
W: What?
S: It is a type of ice cream that is harder than regular ice cream. It might work.
They open the packaging bag.
W: Melted…
S: Melted…
The woman close the door under the button.
S: Can we get back to talking about the different ways of speaking English?
W: Of course.
S: I agree with your idea, but I need to memorize American English for my test.
W: So, do you only want to study for exams?
S: No I don’t. But, it’s not that simple.
W: I feel I understand. Well, let us talk about something more cheerful!
S: You are right. Oh, I have my pen pal’s letter now.
W: In which she complaints about her work?
S: Yes, it may be fun… Do you want to see it? (To try to lift her bag)
W: Please do not drop it again.
S: Failure teaches success. I know better than to repeat the same mistake again.
W: Everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.
S: I have only dropped it once… Oh, this one!
W: Ah!!
S: What?!
W: Nothing, but, let us not read it.
S: Why?
W: It is a bit embarrassi(ng)… no, I mean, I think it rude to read letters of others!
S: You are right! Thanks. (To put it back)
W: Phew.
S: Oh, speaking of my pen pal, she said she will move to Japan.
W: Really?
S: She moved from Japan to England, so she is just like you.
W: I had a feeling that this would be the case.
(Sound)
S: Oh,
S: It’s moving!
W: It is moving!
Door is opened, they exit.
S: 良かったー！ Lucky us!
W: I do not want to take a lift again for a while.
S: I agree.
W: I will tell the building manager about this incident.
S: Thank you!
W: Do not mention it.
S: Well, just by accident, we took the same elevator and we will never meet again. It’s kind of weird.
W: Once-in-a-lifetime. I hope it was good experience for you.
S: Of course it was. Well, please tell the building manager.
W: It was really nice to meet you!
S: Bye.
W: Cheers!
S: …Cheers!
The student exit.
W: We may never meet again, but I can send her letters again, because I am her pen pal!
(Phone call) Hello? Oh, I said “SHOULD be no problem”!
