Book Of Eranidah

The breeze gently brushed against the ivory blue of the roses, and the green of the bushes rustled with every blow of the wind. They moved in unison, uniformed and patterned. It had taken extensive magic, and time to create this known masterpiece of nature, to get the roses to grow all at the same pace, with equal spaces between them, all the same shade. One rose, blue tinted, would never die out, forever, accredited to powerful Cysarean magic. The garden highlighted the manor, which stood atop the mountains of Silau, contrasting it's white and snow covered appearance with warm paints and lively gardens.

The manor was one of a kind, a wedding gift to the high lord of court, third to the King, Lord Yene and his wife, Lady Aestha, my parents.

Through the garden, voices erupted from the garden, upon the edge of the pond.

" Rani!", Lady Rem exclaimed, her voice hysterical and alarmed. "The way you mix it, It will never come out right.", She lowered her voice, finally turning her back to Rani. Her golden locks bounced, perfectly curled with every turn she made. Lady Rem was a woman of grace, posture and elegance. She knew how to handle herself in such a way that gave out an aura of royalty, to which she did not belong to. She had had to learn from a young age how to do so, which led to her studying feminine art and elegance, to which she later became a governess to young girls from high families. She had always wanted to get to the top, and her dream finally did come true when she got the invite to govern the young girl betrothed to the future king. What she had not expected was to end up mothering a stubborn girl.

"Lady Rem, I assure you it will come out just fine.", I calmly replied, placing the beaker back on the grass and finally lifting the tube to my eyes, infront of the sun, examining the colour. It looked alright to me.

"The colour is all wrong. It's nothing near amber. ", Lady Rem finally turned back around and looked at the tube.

" It's gonna come out fine.", I hesitantly reassured, to the both of us, in a more lowered tone,

I lifted the tube and shaked it a bit, feeling unsure about the way the colour was a little off from amber. Finally, I breathed hard, maybe breathing out the uncertainty, and poured it down into the pond, watching the golden liquid trail down into the transparent waters, and swirl gently around the edge of the pond, until it had mixed completely with the water, only gold specks left to prove that it had once been there.

Then came silence, deepening with each second, and I awaited, counting the seconds that passed. Lady Rem, too, held her breath, for the perfection of this spell would tell so much more about where Rani needed to focus her studying on.

One..

Two...

Three..

Four...

Four. That was it. Nothing happened. My face turned down, soaring no glance to the expected ' I told you so' face which I knew Lady Rem would do. I took the tubes and beakers, forcefully placing them back in their bag, and got up from the edge of the pond.

Lady Rem began walking away, knowing very well I would follow in pursuit of questioning.

"It takes a lot more concentration and focus for a spell like that to actually work. Maybe the outdoors are just not your place."

I slung the bag over my shoulder and started speed walking to Lady Rem. Soon, we were walking in united silence, side by side. I glanced at Lady Rem, awaiting her to say something about the spell going wrong. It didn't matter what she said, as long as she said something. I had learnt throughout the years that her scoldings and reprimandations were horrors, but her silence was even worse.

"I could've forgotten an ingredient." I finally told her, expecting a nod in agreeance.

" The ingredient of focus." Lady Rem stopped. We were headed back into the manor, through the back door. The paving we walked on went directly through the garden.

She turned to face me, standing at a height close to mine. She looked at me for a moment, and whatever she was thinking softened her expression. She gave a gentle smile.

"I still do not believe that I have raised a child as elegant and poised as you have become my dear." I looked back down. It was true that she had raised me, and she had been more of a mother in my life than my own. Sure, Mother chose all my dresses and outfits for every event, but Lady Rem was the one who childishly tickled me to get the stubborn five-year old to put the dresses on. Mother carefully designed every meal and had the best and freshest food imported from beyond Migascia, but Lady Rem always fed me whenever I pretended to be unable to eat. And mother designed our manor, inside and out, but Lady Rem filled the empty hallways with voices of her calling me to come and take my bath, knowing very well I would be following her in aim to get a scare out of her. She knew me more than Mother did, yet she would never get introduced as the lady who raised me. She would not be the one to give me away at my wedding. She wouldn't have a single right in naming my children, if I had them. Yet, I still knew that she was content with all of this, more than content even. She had always dreamt of becoming a well- known governess, or atleast that's what she had told me, and I did believe that getting to govern the betrothed of the future king of the land had made her more than well- known.

" You know, the world can get chaotic at times, but I believe that if you keep your focus then nothing can go wrong, ever. " She told me, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I assure you I was focused. I-"

"Focused, yes, but not on the spell.",Lady Rem moved closer to me, placing her hands on my shoulders.

She could be as stubborn as I was at times.

"Magic comes from within you, from your light. To use your magic, you have to be in connection with it, and to do so you have to be focused solely on that light that burns within you." I watched her bronze irises move over me again. Her smile weakened ever so slightly.

"What are you afraid of?", I froze. Being a Telfye witch, Lady Rem could sense emotions. Her magic was based on sensing, rather than receiving visions like most Telfye magicians around Migascia.

Truth was, I was afraid, scared, anxious about whether the fate that I had known my whole would come true. Lady Rem moved her eyes across me again, before finally letting go of my shoulders and moving towards a bush, laced with the blue roses that dawned our garden, leaving me standing in the grey stone paveway.

"Fear of the future, of the unknown, that I can understand, but for one to fear the known future, that's not fear but cowardice." I furrowed my eyebrows. Did she mean that I was being a coward? I stepped closer to where she had gone to stand. She didn't even spare a glance at me, her hands gently brushing the rose petals.

" I am not a coward. For I fear what is known, yes, but even what is known should be feared."

" What is there to fear, dearest Rani, when you know what is to happen?" Her voice was low.

Now I could feel my feelings boil. " I fear exactly what is to happen Rem. Just because I know of it does not mean I am less scared of it. My future is at mercy here. For the rest of my life I will live with this truth, and I had no choice in wether it was what I wanted or not. I do not even know the prince, nor have I ever met him, but I am to be married to him in a few months time. That scares me, it does, and I feel as though nobody sees what I have to go through." Tears brimmed the corners of my eyes. All my life, I'd been told what to do, If not by Lady Rem then by my mother or father. I hated it, honestly, but there was nothing I could do. If I backed out of the wedding now, it would be a fate worse than me actually marrying the prince. My father would be disgraced in the King's court for not being able to control his children. My mother would never stop talking about how I gave up a life full of stature and wealth, all for freedom. Lady Rem would have spent a whole 17 years of her life raising a supposedly future leader just so I could give it all up in the last minute.Give up years of planning, of preparing, for me. That was what I was afraid of, that my future was not my own, and once I'm married, it will never be.

"That's what sacrifice means child. In every heart, there is enough to give back. You were chosen by the Goddess to be our Queen, and she knew what she was doing when she chose you to do so. "She paused, gently moving her hand to the petal of a rose, caressing the soft of the blue rose. I looked up to the sky, the Sun was high above the sky, trying to stop the tears brimmed against the corner of my eyes from spilling out.

" It was said when you were born that you were going to change Trezaries, forever. That you would be the one to write our future-"

" I am not the one, trust me."I broke her off mid sentence. I had heard that notion far too many times now. Every event we went to, every temple and every courtroom, my destiny, written on a scroll, was read to entire crowds, over an over again, almost as a prayer. A prayer for what? That I change the lives of my people, and release them from oppression of the Fae, or a prayer that I be the one to stop the prophecies from coming true? They'd all give me hopeful stares, the kind that made you sick.

" But you are, Eranidah. Accept your destiny my child, Don't fight it." Lady Rem closed her eyes, and for a moment only the quiet swishing of the leaves and bushes was all that grew between us, but then her eyes opened again. She smiled, turning my way. She had no wrinkles or normal signs of old age. I concluded that she must be forty from all the stories of her life that she told me, but I knew that she would never tell me personally.

" The roses are screaming your name Rani, they know you."

This time I did not resist the urge to roll my eyes.

" Roses cannot tell the future. They know me because I've lived here my whole life."

" The spirits live in roses, enchanted like these." ,She finally let go of the petal and looked me in the eye."You know there is nothing in the world that you could do to hide how you feel from me." I nodded in reply, I knew she spoke truth. Whenever I was stole chocolates from the kitchens or didn't do the literature readings I was assigned when I was little, I would try to hide it from her, making up all sorts of excuses, and she would easily figure out that I was lying or hiding the truth from her. That was how her magic worked, I had learnt as I got older and shifted my studies to more magical, gift- based learning. Her Telfye powers were quite common in our general area, but she had a stronger connection to plants than any witch I'd ever heard of. It was rare to find a magician who could talk to plant spirits, one like Lady Rem who could hear the whispers of trees and roses.

" And you know that I want only what is best for you and your future." She put her hands on my shoulders again, And I looked up at the copper of her iris. "The plants, the roses, they all say you are a queen, a legend for that matter. I don't know what it is, but you are going to be something big, wilder than your own imagination my dear. Just trust that the Goddess has carved out a golden path from you." Lady Rem finally removed the seriousness on her face with a soft smile. Her eyes lingered on me a little longer, not too long, before she let go of me. I had noticed she had quite the habit of holding on to me for support, whenever emotional. I made her emotional by bringing all of this up.

I had no words, yet my heart screamed at me to say what I felt, to scream so that even the Goddess would hear me. But I couldn't.

At that moment, a maid, dressed in white and blue walked up from the paveway, her pace fast and quick. She stopped a few feet from us, before announcing,

"The madam requests your presence urgently in the study" she said, before moving past us down into the garden. I glanced at Lady Rem who had already made her way back onto the paveway, and in pursuit I followed, lifting slightly on the fabric of my skirt. The Sun watched us walk along in silence, it's brightness hitting onto the silhouette I had of Lady Rem. I glanced down to the edge of my flat shoes, questioning what could be so important that mother had to call us urgently so.

Through the doorways, down the corridors, up the stairs, through the hall , silence kept it's mark between us. I couldn't tell a thing about what was running through her head at the moment, and yet I felt threatened that she could read mine in an instant. The study door was finally into view, and I heard her mumble something about not worryingother with our last conversation.

Mother was pacing, back and forth, in front of the dark wood desk that had stacks of my father's court papers high and heavy on them. When she saw us, her eyes lit up, and she immediately went back to the desk.

" Queen Ousilliah has sent a letter." She anxiously told us. Lady Rem glanced at me before walking up to my mother to see with her. I, too followed, but my heart drummed against my chest. What could she want today?

" Invitation?" Lady Rem asked, unsureness clear in her voice. I finally got close to see the small envelope that had the blue royal crest on it.

" It has the Queen's personal stamp." I said, and mother nodded in agreement.

" I wanted to wait fort the both of you in case it's enchanted." Mother told us, before moving with the letter from the desk to the centre of the room, above the deep red carpet on the floor. Enchanted letters couldn't be opened twice, the Cysarean magic only worked once, when the letter is opened. It made sense why mother wanted us to be here to see it.

Lady Rem and I moved to the edges of the carpet, and Mother looked at Lady Rem before opening it, before ripping the envelope one with the delicate of her touch. There was nothing in the envelope, and Mother furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Then, a small speck of dust fell on the floor, carpet actually, before it started glowing. It began lifting itself in the air, and then, out of nowhere, more and more tiny gold specks emerged from the floor.

I couldn't help but smile at the beauty of the light it casted over into the study, as the specks few in number in matter of seconds before swirling around. Mother took a step back, for she was unsure what exactly would happen. I didn't want to, it mesmerised me too much, and it seemed Lady Rem thought exactly the same. The specks kept swirling around, and around, gathering more of the ones lifting from the floor. It reminded me of how the potion swirled around in the pond earlier today.

" What are they doing?" I asked, questioning what the specks would do. Were they going to form the letters of the message Queen Ousilliah sent?

" Chatervs. They were create an image of the Queen." I glanced over at Lady Rem. I had heard of Chatervs before, but I had never actually seen one myself.

Just as Lady Rem said, the specks started to look more uninformed in places and not in other places, and I could easily trace a crown. They soon formed a picture of Queen Ousilliah. I had only ever met her in person a few times, last one was when I had the dinner ball to celebrate my powers, which was three years ago. She was a graced woman, commanded authority whenever she needed. She donated too, in large amounts to the poor and needy, orphanages and shelters all over the Migascia had her pictures in their hallways. She always spoke so eloquently too, it reminded me of the books I read, she used simple words to convey huge messages, something I honoured her for. She was also the woman who was supposed to become my future mother in law. She had known me from birth, and every account if my studies and growth went to the palace every month. She basically knew me, inside and out, and it chilled me to know that this woman knew every little detail about my life yet I had never had a real conversation her.

I easily watched the image of the Queen get clearer, until it was her silhouette standing right in the place of the golden specks. She looked at us, not directly though,her eyes seeminly staring through us.

" I send my greetings to you, High Lord Yene Willanvint of the King's Court, High Lady Aestha Willanvint, and of course the whole Willanvint house.", Lady Rem, as dramatic as she was, took a deep bow in the presence of an already taken letter.

" It may come as a great surprise but there have been a few uprisngs in Aruthia, the fae land, mainly from the Godan coast where the dragons reside. The Emperor, has of course, decided to call out all of the Migascian troops and army groups, including our king to stand by him during war. "

War? Since when? I thought the Emperor already had everything under control between the Dragon treaty. I didn't know much about it but I knew that the Dragons were starting a rebellion amongst themselves in the act of dethroning the Emperor. He was a fae, and ruled over all of the other races, including us magicians. He was the only person that could make the Queen and King bow down to him. And now? He was requesting the King in battle.

I glanced at my mother, who gently traced her finger around her amulet necklace that hung down her neck.

Was she also wondering what we had to do with all of this. My heartbeat quickened as I realized that I may know what Queen Ousilliah meant.

"Now a King cannot just leave the kingdom with nobody to govern it, thus by the Royal Order Decree, my son Totrius will be taking over for him before he leaves, temporarily of course, until the King comes home for a proper coronation. Now, my issue, is that our law does not allow a King to be crowned or rule over without his wife by his side."

My heart stopped.

Mother glanced at me.

Lady Rem turned her head in my direction.

My breath hitched.

" 0f off this reason I request that Eranidah come over to the palace immediately, and have her wedding to Totrius. She will not be crowned as Queen yet because of her age, but it will allow Totrius to have his coronation. The coach may arrive in a day's time. I send my regards, and my blessings. May the Goddess stay by your side."

I walked out of the room, rage filling up inside of me. Did everyone have a say in what happens to me except for me,? This was not being free, but being suffocated by everyone around me. I heard Lady Rem calling out to me, but I kept my pace steady, turning down the halls that I knew would lead to my bedroom, the footsteps behind me drafting away.

I kept walking, kept my pace, and only when couldn't hear her footsteps anymore did I slow down. I realized that I was in fact very indeed scared of what would happen to me, what would happen to my future if this carried on.

I fell onto my bed, burying my face within the soft of the silk cushions. Mother had gotten them tailored for my face, made with the best materials in all of Migascia. That was how my life had been, always. I always had the best items. From the best food to the best clothing, mother always made sure there was no short of luxury within our lives. Thanks to Father's endless pockets from years of working in the court of the King, and of course earning the well- deserved trust of the King, Mother had no limit to her spending, and so she had spared no expense in the decoration of our home. The carpets lay plush throughout the studies, the massive beds adorned the twelve spare rooms that hollowed down the halls. The hallways were lined up with paintings, magical or not, and the stairs seemed to never end, moving all the way to the top tower that was dedicated to my grandfather who fought in the wars, to the bottom of the basement where all of our artifacts stood. In these walls, banquets had been held, countlessly enough.

Growing up here was similar to the house. I was never allowed to play, but I always explored the rooms with great enthusiasm, looking through every crook and crany that I could find. I'd been everywhere. But I never really found a home within the walls of the grand manor. Mother always kept herself busy with decorating and redecorating, painting if she could or ordering the servants around all day. When father would come home, it would be straight to his study for him. It was a loveless marriage, the product of an arranged one. They shared pieced conversations, but never had I seen them look lovingly into each other's eyes. Mother would pretend that everything was alright, and Father would pretend to care. That was life for them. That too, would become life for me as well.

I did not cry, even as I wished I could. My tears never did seem to come easy, which was a good thing, Mother had told me. She'd mentioned something about there being a sort of weakness when seen crying amongst people. I didn't view crying as weakness, though, but as a sign of being in pain, and being in pain did not mean weakness, simply meant you'd been hit too bad this time.

What would happen to me if I actually went through with the wedding? I would live in the palace, with the rest of the royal family, and I would probably get all of the wealth I could ever dream of, but it meant nothing to me if I'd be unhappy for the rest of my life. I always envied the lower classes of magicians. They're lives were filled with such simplicity, such care free days spent farming, cooking, cleaning. Simple dresses and skirts in monochromatic colours, free - spirits roaming around the air. The luxury, I believed, lay with them, and the way their lives had no worries. The girls got to fall in love with whomever they wanted to, and would get to dance under the stars with their beloved, moonlight after moonlight. Have children, buy a cosy cottage, raise a family built on warm cinder bread and fresh Yenn Tea every morning. I envied them, who had gotten this type of life. It was the opposite of mine.

I could still runaway, but I knew no one who would willing help me with that. Yet, even if I did, I would be to recongnisable, too out of place amongst the others, that would be of course if I made my way to a town or village in these hills. The manor rested upon a snowed hill, in the middle of a valley deep into the heart of Sura, but far, far away from any sign of civilization. The were a few roads that travelled to towns and cities, but it took a carriage a few hours to arrive. I didn't have a carriage, nor did I have any sense of direction to where I would be going. Even if I stumbled upon a town after days of walking in snow cold weather, what then? Beg for someone to allow me to stay in their home for a few days under the pretence of being lost? Then, after that? It was hopeless. I didn't want to die or get lost as much as I didn't want to marry.

The creak of the door as mother entered snapped me back to the present moment. She looked, as usual, neat and put together, walking towards the edge of the bed to sit down. She faced me, while I sat on the bed covered by my pillows. I didn't meet her eyes, but kept them trained on the design of the pillowcase.

" Eranidah, my child." I didn't need to look up to see her eyes trained on my face.

" I don't understand why you're acting up like this." She leaned in closer, placing her arm on the bed to support her weight.," This... This will be good for you. It will be good for the family. You know that you were always meant to do this."

I hated how she ignored my feelings, how she payed no attention to my obvious objections to all of this. In the past few years, I'd complained, as sublty as possible about this whole situation. She never seemed to care, or cared too much about her reputation and we'll being. In every situation, I knew that I could expect her to put herself first, and then the family. Putting herself first meant doing anything to attain my Father's approval, even if it meant selling her own daughter.

" Mother, I'm not sure if I'll be able to do this." I managed to say. Everything else, every shout or scream got drowned out by the noise of my imprisonment and lack of freedom for the future.

" You will." She sternly told me. I kept queit this time, and even her lack of motherly affection couldn't get me to cry. Even in her stenr tone though, her voice was laced with affection and warmth, warmth that I could possibly miss.

" When will I leave?" I decided to change the topic.

" Tomorrow, at sunrise." She glanced out to the 8 foot window that overlooked our garden for a second, before looking back to me." I sent a servant to tell your father the news. I believe he'll be here for dinner."

I didn't want to, but a deep, heavy sigh left my body. If father was ever home for dinner, then the whole family would be called. Usually, it would just be Mother, Lady Rem and I, each dining in silence or Lady Rem chatting with Mother about the usual newest designs on the markets. In rare cases, my older sister, would come to dinner and sit with us. If it weren't for Mother's insistence, she would rather dine in her room or elsewhere. Father coming home meant that even the twins would be home for my departure tomorrow.

" Have you met him?" I asked in a whispered tone. I felt my heart calm down, and maybe I was finally accepting my future. Yet, I still felt like they was something in my throat though, and tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I wouldn't let them. My heart did ache from the pain I felt, how my opinion on my own future was overlooked. For what? A step higher onto the social status ladder? More wealth or power?

Mother, impassively so, looked away, through the window. Her head was tilted slightly upwards, and I wondered if that's how she'd been raised. To keep her posture and stature even in presences where it wasn't even necessary.

" Yes, I have. When he was younger, you did meet him a few times. He was always so well mannered when he greeted me, and he always smiled whenever I called out to him.He was raised well."

Mother soon left after that, and the silence slowly gathered itself up in my room. I could sit in here for ages, I could lock myself in here, but in truth I really couldn't. I wanted to be excited, yet I wasn't. I knew very well that I was living every girl's dream, but it felt like pain to me.

Pain had always had a way to lodge itself into my heart, whenever father slapped me across the face, or whenever mother kept her indifference after seeing the tears roll down the handprint on my cheek. She'd always of course apply the balm to prevent swelling that could potentially mark my skin.

" And who gave you permission to do such an act within her presence?" Father's voice boomed and echoed throughout his study room. Papers back then we're never stacked as high as they were now, and his hair had barely started turning grey. I was nine, or ten, or maybe eleven. I didn't remember the memory by my age, but by Qarah's voice.

" Father, I'm sorr-", she was cut off pleading for me.

" You're older than your sister, so I expected you to be able to shut her mouth when she starts talking like that in the presence of her Majesty."

Then, child me had no idea what I had done wrong. It was when the Queen had visited us, for the evening. Dinner had been served accordingly so, and Qarah and I had been put into our best dresses. The Queen had been asking me questions broadly, from how my learning had been going to wether I had found an interest in anything of the musical sort, since the past Queens of Migascia were expected to have some sort of talent. The images were still blurry from memory, but one question I'd never forget wad when she asked me about what I thought of my father's job. In all honesty, she was maybe just trying to see if I had an interest in politics. Innocently, I'd told her about the men who frequently came in to our house and stayed with father in our study for hours, leaving in the early dark of dawnbreak. I hadn't known that those men were people payed by my father to lie to to the King during a courtcase that could tarnish his reputation in the public's eye and the King's, not ad the Queen been able to guess so, but she had definitely picked up that something more than a friendly meeting was going on behind closed doors.

The moment she left, father called us to his study, questioning us. The slap from him stung as hard as mother's footsteps echoing down the hall as she left to go get the balm. Next, he hit Qarah on her cheek, and then threw her to the ground.

" I expect you to teach your sister some manners and proper speech, young lady." He'd said, leaving us alone in the study. I guess I could say that that day was when my relationship with my sister started drifting. Not because of the slaps, but rather because of how mother came in and immediately rushed to my cheek first, Qarah struggling to get off the floor, tears pooling in the marble floor beneath her.

" Your mouth will be the end of you Eranidah.", She scolded me, applying a heavy amount tof the blame to where my father's hand had imprinted me.

"Qarah, get up and go get the Rith leaves from the pantry. I don't know if she.." Mother's fussing continued on and on, but I could only hear Qarah's heart break apart into pieces and fragments. She got up, but never came back to me, or atleast when she did finally speak to me days after the incident, her voice was cold and spirit was darkened. A few weeks later, she left for boarding school across the mountains, leaving behind any love she ever shared for me.

That was when our relationship broke. She began being jealous of me, speaking whenever I spoke just to spite me, cutting out pieces of my dresses right before I had to make a public appearance. These had only made mother distaste in her more, and made her sadder each day. Until she grew up, and finished her studies at her school. She stopped coming home, she stopped bothering me or our parents, and she just stopped being here. I never blamed her though, and I always did have an eagerness to kindle our relationship again, but every time she had said bitter words to my face had made me rethink my own thoughts time and time again.

Knowing that she would come here tonight didn't faze me though, because if father was there then so will her best behaviour. What fazed me was the knowing that tonight would be the last night here at home, with my family. Even with the passive indifference I felt at home here, I was surrounded by family made strangers.Over there I would be surrounded by strangers made family at the palace.

Slowly, I heard the familiar voice in my head begin to stir up again. The voice whispered ever so gently, calling my name.

Rani

I heard him say. I didn't know who he was, but I knew he was there. I clasped my temple, desperation pushing me to rub it until I felt alone again. I kept breathing hard, harder, but my heart still felt suffocated. I knew before it even began that it was happening again.

I went to the cabinet in a haste, and opened the drawer, second to my right. The all- too familiar blue bottle mockingly teased me. I pulled the cork off, and gulped down the remainder of my makeshift serum.

Slowly, the world began to form around me again. Footsteps echoed through the hall, the wooden window seal creaked. Everything was silent again, and I looked at my palms where my nails had dug in, marked by blood.

I didn't know wether I was sane or not anymore. To strive for freedom meant dying, yet to die was to not be given a chance at it first.