Bad Faith

It was, by all accounts, a particularly creepy forest. Its ugly history belied the beautiful scenery. The picturesque landscape was hiding a creeping horror or two. This forest was hosting a clear night, a full moon was casting deep shadows. It was a quiet forest after dark, the life inside generally knew better than to test the night. In the otherwise quiet wood, a man dashed through the brush, heedless of the custom.

Her voice was echoing in his mind, but he couldn’t collect himself enough to understand. First and foremost was terror. Behind the unassailable wall of fear was grief. Then, distantly, guilt. Guilt that terror was overriding grief and controlling him. Nothing else existed to him but the drive to keep moving. He couldn’t hear if it was still after him, he couldn’t even hear the branches snapping out of his way. Nothing beyond the percussion of his heart in his ears. There was only a vague impression in the back of his mind that he was screaming. He may or may not have been, but the primal part of him wanted to. Eyes blurred with tears, he crashed through more shrubbery and bounced off more trees than he avoided but somehow it didn’t seem to slow his mad scramble. He couldn’t feel his flesh being torn by trees, couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything… the physical world was barely a memory. But her voice… and that sound… they wouldn’t leave his mind.

At the height of his delirium, he crashed into something of flesh. His mind had reached a tipping point and threatened to break when he realized what he tackled was too small to be his pursuer. As he scrambled up he could see it was a woman, through blurry eyes he could tell she wasn’t wearing any clothes. A witch or druid or something communing with the woods. There wasn’t any time to think. He took her by the arm and took off again. The woman had to have been stunned, he crashed into her at a full panicked sprint, but it only took a moment before she was running along with him. Something in his demeanor must have gotten through to her because she didn’t say anything and matched his frantic pace. If anything, she would probably be faster than him. He could barely see and while part of him knew taking the time to see and avoid obstacles would probably be faster, he still couldn’t back off. A moment later he was proven correct as she pulled ahead of him and started guiding him.

All at once, the preternatural terror lifted and his body gave out. As he skidded face first through a sheet of leaves he felt the rocks and weeds tear through his cheek, it clicked into place. Alarra had cast a fear spell on him, and now it had run its course. Before he lost consciousness, the sounds played one more loop in his mind.

“Velik, RU--!!” and the sickening sound of those jaws coming together, snuffing her out like a candle.

She was twelve years old and a foot tall. An hour is ancient for a sprite; she was unprecedented in any record. She was his first spell, little more than a cantrip. She became so much more. Over a decade of dedicated study and feeding her potence and she had a developed consciousness. For the first year he was relentlessly mocked by the other apprentices. Then she took a verbal command without potence and the laughter stopped. A year later, the curiosity turned to reverence as she spoke her first words. Five years after that he was awarded journeyman based entirely on his work with her. Alarra had been his everything for so long. Now, Velik would be alone.

In a quiet grove, a woman sat cradling the head of a sleeping man, stroking his hair gently. A look of serene love graced her face as she looked down at him. A pack of wolves, disturbed by the commotion and smelling blood in the air, slowly approached. A number of them trotted in circles around the pair, disappearing and reappearing between trees. The woman didn’t even notice until the alpha stepped forward and let slip a low growl.

The woman looked up, and her countenance… changed. The irises of her eyes faded from a glowing light blue to white, leaving only pupils that then shrank to pinpoints before elongating into a vertical slash running down the center of each eye. The lines opened from the center into dark chasms that leaked blood red, consuming the rest of the white until all that was left were two vertical pupils on a swirling crimson background. As the woman’s lips split a clicking reptilian growl reverberated from her throat. The wolves froze. The grass round where the woman sat wilted, then turned brown, the crumbled. The rotting ruin spread from where she sat in all directions consuming all the plant life. The alpha was slow to move, it was still frozen in place by the otherworldly growl. The rot reached its legs. With a whimper, the alpha’s front legs buckled and it fell forward to the ground. It let out one last whine before crumbling into a mess of hairy gore. The other wolves scattered. In a surge of chaos, all living things rushed to flee from the spreading ruin. The birds left chicks in their nest. Badgers left pups in their dens. Before long there was complete silence. As the rot continued to creep, only one thing broke the deathly quiet. The whispers of the woman, cooing to the sleeping man. She was looking down on him with her soft blue eyes. Eyes of an angel. In a quiet grove, a woman sat cradling the head of a sleeping man, stroking his hair gently.

“It’s all ok. I’ll protect you. Forever. Nothing will ever hurt you… Velik…”

Velik woke up in a haze. He was in a smallish mud house on a cot of some kind. There was a small fire in the center. Recent events were there in his head, but he was too exhausted to bring them to the front. Alarra… gone. It rang empty in his mind. It would be a stretch to say he moved his head to look out a window. More accurately, he let his head fall in a way that gave him a slightly better angle. It was morning. It was early morning when he passed out, just before light, but he could feel it wasn’t the same morning. He had been out for at least a day. Somewhere in his head he knew he had to start thinking, start figuring out what was going on. He fell back asleep anyway.

The haze was lifting. The second time Velik woke up he started noticing more things. There was simple wooden furniture he hadn’t even seen before. There were herbs and small game dangling from the ceiling. Something was cooking in a clay pot over the fire. Something that smelled amazing. Velik was struck by guilt and grief. How could he think of food? Alarra was gone. His body curled up and the emptiness in his stomach disappeared into cramping knots of distress. The racking sobs faded as he fell asleep again.

Velik was vaguely aware of coming in and out of sleep again several times. Impressions that Alarra was hovering over him. Alarra’s voice urging him to eat while a spoon of stew was brought to his lips. He couldn’t recall whether he actually ate anything. So many dreams and memories. Alarra’s voice again, “You were tired.”

“I’m still tired. How did you know I was awake?” Awake. He was awake. Velik opened his eyes. It wasn’t Alarra. He knew that. Couldn’t have been her. The tears came back. It must be the woman he ran into in the woods. He should say sorry, explain himself. No words came. He sat up and actually looked at her for the first time. Velik himself didn’t care what people looked like, but he was sure other people would find her attractive. An angular face but soft in the right places. He couldn’t look away from her eyes – they were the same blue as Alarra’s glow. Thousands of nights he fell asleep watching the vaguely feminine shape of Alarra glow with that color. A sprite was just as much a creature of light as matter, and Alarra’s light was this blue. The woman was smiling at him, but tears were slowly crawling down her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You’re so sad.”

He could only look at her. Alarra’s voice was tinny and had a strange little echo that resulted from her amplifying her small voice with magic. If Alarra were human, had full vocals – he imagined she would sound just like this woman. She sounded just as sad as he felt. Things started falling into place in his mind. She must be…

“Empath?”

She only looked at him, but it made sense. She was probably a druid empath living away from people. He had read that it’s difficult to be around others when you were born with her gift.

The woman spoke, “What did you see?” Even though her voice was unsteady, there was intensity in her teary eyes. Eyes that were not just the same color but had the same glow. The glow was radiating in rather than out, being sucked into her pupils. Those eyes were the same. Velik felt the room spinning. Grief induced psychic break. He would have to find an alienist when he went back. The idea of home without Alarra churned his stomach and despair surged all over again. Why was this woman, who reminded him so much of Alarra, the one he had to run into? Did she even have blue eyes? Was it lucky to run into this woman? Is it lucky that he now lives without Alarra? The woman must have felt the direction of his thoughts because in a blink she was sitting next to him, holding his head to her chest. It was then he realized their clothing situation had reversed. He was naked under his cloak that had been used as a blanket, and she was wearing his clothes. It struck him as odd, but she had asked him a question.

It only made sense that she would want to know. If she was an empath she must have felt his fear. It wasn’t a natural fear. What did he see? “I think… a daemon.” He paused, but when she didn’t pry any further, he continued. “I’m an academy magician. Journeyman. My friend and I, we came to perform a spell on a weirding point. We were calling something, but something else heard.” He paused again, “She didn’t make it.” Before he started choking on sobs again, he quickly pulled himself away from her embrace. Proprieties were needed. “Are you ok? I’m sorry I brought this down on you. I don’t even know how to begin thanking you. Did you heal me? I was so torn up but I’m fine… where did the daemon go? I thought—“

The woman put a finger over his mouth. It was soft. “Shhh. Slow down. My name is Acedia. Just rest. There are no daemons out there, I would feel it. You just went through too much and it won’t be over for you… for a long time. It will be easier for you if you slow down. Don’t rush. We are safe here.” Acadia reached over and held his head at the temples. Velik felt a surge of potence flow from her hands into his mind. Normally he would be offended or at least annoyed being the recipient of an uninvited spell, especially from an unknown school of thought, but the relief and calm washed away any misgiving. He couldn’t be upset with someone alleviating his weakness. Doubly so since his despair was obviously upsetting her. With his mind settling, he started to prioritize. First was information.

Velik hadn’t been able to look away from those blue eyes since she had started holding his head, and when he spoke it seemed almost to startle her. “Where are we?”

“I don’t know the names. We are maybe… twenty or thirty hours of hiking northwest of where you tackled me.” There was no sarcasm in her voice, but he felt like she was mocking him.

Velik stumbled over an awkward apology before it occurred to him. “Did you carry me that far?”

“I’m strong and you’re not heavy.”

He didn’t know how strong a person would have to be to carry another that far, and he knew he was hardly a runt. “Heavy enough that I’m impressed,” he replied. Her reply to that was simply a smile, but his stomach flew into butterflies. Velik quickly looked away. “Do you have anything I could eat? Maybe something to wear?”

“Yes and no.” She got up to fill him a clay bowl from the pot, and he eyed his clothes on her jealously. They seemed to fit her. Which was impossible because he was significantly larger than she was. He might have an academic’s body, but he had a big frame. The realization that she altered his clothes to fit her galled him. Velik really liked those pants. But what could he say to the woman whose forest home he spawned a daemon into, who he manhandled while she was nude, and then who turned around and carried him for miles before caring for him for days? He could say nothing. If she chose to wear his skin as her own, he could say nothing.

He pulled the cloak on and tied it to be as modest as possible, but it was undeniably… drafty. “Isn’t this a little indecent?” Acedia brought back the bowl of stew and moved to start feeding him, but he quickly took the food from her with a few muttered assurances that he would do it himself.

Acedia leaned in close and cocked her head to an angle. “Would you rather I be the one dressed indecently?” Velik was certain he had never blushed so hard in his life. He wanted to be collected and calm as an academic should be, but he had never felt this unstable in his life. His eyes immediately went to the floor as he tensed up, unable to formulate a response. Human women were too hard. He never said the right thing and they always teased him. His chest tightened as his thoughts turned to the one feminine influence in his life. Acedia’s soft chuckle preceded an apology. When he looked up her face was as red as his. Right, an empath. Just as soon as his emotions flooded him, they started melting away. Her spell was effective. It was a very difficult thing to do, altering the human mind. A calming spell like hers that still lets people think and feel must be absurdly complex. He doubted even Alarra could do any better. Every rational part of him told him to get up and moving, to thank this woman and go home before the daemon came back. This time when the thought of the daemon crossed his mind it was accompanied by the image of Alarra’s last moment. Something sparked. Fury.

A hot flood surged from the base of his skull and started crawling through his body, seeping into his bones. He was furious with himself for somehow losing control of the summoning call, with Alarra for sending him off when he should have died with her, with Acedia for reminding him of Alarra, and most of all, with the daemon itself. Those disgusting, savage, murdering jaws in that reptilian head. The body of a lizard larger than a horse, wings flapping wildly in the night. He would kill it. End it. The burning rage gripped him like nothing else he’d ever experienced. Stronger than the fear of that night, stronger than his love for Alarra. The thought that this feeling was stronger than his love for Alarra snapped him back to where he was. Potence so strong he’d never believe it came from one person was flooding his mind from Acedia’s hands. All at once it slowed to a trickle as he made eye contact with her. If she felt that, even a fraction of that… his debt to her just kept growing.

He began, “I..”

“Just shut up,” she breathed. Velik was afraid he would see some of that anger in her eyes, but all he found was pity. “Please just rest. Take it slow.” Velik wanted to do a million things, ask a million questions, but all he owed this woman flashed before his eyes. He would obey. Not lip service, he would obey. Velik told himself that it was just his basic duty to pay her back as best as he was able, but he was also aware that he was now thoroughly intimidated. Strong enough to carry a grown man who knows how far in the mountains, and that last spell had magical potence like he couldn’t believe. He started wondering if what he was dealing with was in fact a human. That was his last thought as he drifted back to sleep, head rested on her shoulder. It didn’t really matter to him. Velik wasn’t xenophobic. He had loved his sprite more than himself.

A week passed before Velik thought he might be ready to face what happened. A week of “taking it slow.” Acedia was pleasant company, but absent most of the time. It made being somewhat naked a little more bearable. Velik spent his time either meditating or exploring the nearby wood. He had become something of a woodsman in his travels. The ruins and weirding points he sought out for his research were almost always off the beaten path. It was unavoidable to realize this was the first time he had ever explored a place alone. He didn’t have Alarra to watch his back. He didn’t have someone to point out interesting sights to. It was a very different experience.

Where he expected to feel fear being on his own, he felt only loneliness. Thinking of Alarra no longer shut him down, but it still made his blood run cold. Velik found a stump, sat down, and looked at his hands. Not for the first time he wondered if he wasn’t better off dead. Almost all his formal work at the academy was only possible with Alarra’s help. He was competent enough, he supposed, but the things he wanted to accomplish… he wanted to accomplish with her. Talent without drive is useless. More than useless, it’s a weeping pity. Staring idly at his palms, Velik wondered if idolizing death as a release is the same as being suicidal.

What should he do? A normative question. He had plenty of conversations with Alarra about the nature of normative statements. What did she believe? She hated waste. It would be wasteful to throw away all they had accomplished together. He needed to get his grimoire (given that it survived that thing’s rampage). With Acedia’s ability to sense daemons it should be safe enough. The idea of asking her for a favor made him lament his pride. It wasn’t just a favor; he was asking someone who did so much for him to go on a major expedition that could be dangerous. He brought both hands to his head and tousled his hair in frustration. It was getting long; he could see his ash grey hair when he leaned forward and looked up. No matter how he felt about it, that’s what he should do. Velik held out hope that Acedia would say no and send him on his way, but for some reason he doubted she would.

“On one condition,” was her immediate response. He had waited until they were sitting with another vegetable and root stew dinner before asking her. She hadn’t even looked up from her bowl when he stumbled over asking her for more help.

“Acedia, if you want anything from me you’ve already done enough to deserve it. No need to make it a condition for my selfish request.”

She finally looked up at him, blue eyes pinning him to where he sat. “In that case,” she said, “There’s no need to make the request at all. What I want is to go with you.” Velik frowned as he considered what she could possibly want at his campsite. Maybe she wanted the rest of his clothes? Or maybe that was the reason she was there in the first place. The weirding point. As far as he knew they didn’t mean a thing to intuitive casters like druids, but Acedia was far from ordinary. His face brightened.

“Absolutely, I can’t believe we wanted the same thing.” For some reason, Acedia’s face turned red and she studied the fire with a grin. “When can we go?”