THE LIGHT

“People are frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.” –Seneca

Benjamin Johnson lived with his wife, Olivia, and their three children, ten-year old Ethan, Alexander, Seven, and Sophia, aged four.

They lived on Belle Farm; a farm that Benjamin ran. Benjamin, though had a reputation for having long pockets and short arms. He didn’t like spending money where he didn’t have to.

He would cut corners to save a few pounds and would often find himself in the firing line of his staff, who would regularly find that they had been underpaid. On top of this, he would become aggressive with his suppliers while he tried to barter their prices down, this, on more than one occasion would end in the supplier pulling out of their deals, and Benjamin having to pay more money for someone who would be willing to do business with him.

Lancashire, 2008.

‘Okay, try it now.’ Benjamin shouted down the ladder to his long-suffering wife.

Olivia closed her eyes tight, dreading the sound of a loud bang or a fizz when she flicked the switch.

She pressed. The inside of the pantry was suddenly illuminated. The old light fitting had been faulty for years, now, it seemed, it was fixed.

Olivia sighed with relief. ‘I still don’t know why we couldn’t pay an electrician to do that.’ She said.

Benjamin stepped down from the ladder. ‘Because it would cost a fortune to fix it. I can do it for free.’

Olivia tutted and rolled her eyes. ‘How do you know it’s safe? A proper electrician would do it safely and not bodge the job.’

‘It works, doesn’t it?’ said Benjamin as he packed up his tools.

Olivia shook her head.

For the last twenty-five years of marriage, Benjamin had always been tight. At first it was an endearing and funny quality of his, but after a quarter of a century, it had become a draw that she would find increasingly infuriating.

‘Ethan has his school trip coming up soon, maybe with the cash you’ve saved from hiring an electrician, you can put towards his spending money.’ Olivia pressed.

‘Why does he want to go to France anyway?’ snapped Benjamin.

‘It’s a school trip. He’s looking forward to it.’ Olivia hissed back. ‘I won’t allow you to spoil his education over your obsession with saving money.’

‘I never had the chance to go abroad when I was at school, and I turned out all right.’ Said Benjamin.

Olivia laughed, accentuating the sarcasm that was intended.

That night, Benjamin and Olivia argued viciously. Olivia had to fight every time she wanted him to spend some money, and the more money that was requested, the harder she would have to fight. She found it exhausting, but this was for their son, so she would fight until Benjamin gave way.

After the arguing was over, Benjamin would do what he would always do when he needed to relax; he would go to their stable and spend a few hours riding his horse, Lucky, over their vast land.

It was the only way he could process. The emptiness and stillness of the surroundings, the rolling hills and fresh air would give his brain time to breathe, and he would often offload his feelings to his pride and joy, Lucky. Over the years, if she could only understand a single word, she would know his deepest feelings and secrets.

The following morning, Olivia set off with the kids into town to buy them all some new clothes that they desperately needed. During the arguing of the previous night, she had got him to agree to allow Ethan to go on his trip, as a bonus, she even managed to get him to agree to spend some money on replacing the kids old, raggedy, hand-me-down clothes.

Benjamin was still seething from the fight. It was becoming more regular, but he needed to save money for a rainy day. Olivia, it seemed just wanted to spend money on any opportunity she could. Why would they need to pay an electrician for the privilege of fixing a light fitting when he could do it himself? He knew he had done it right. How hard could it be to rewire some circuits?

Once he had finished his jobs for the morning, Benjamin would prepare himself a sandwich. As he was rummaging around the fridge looking for the meat, he heard a buzzing sound coming from behind him. He turned, but the noise stopped.

As he buttered the bread, the buzzing noise came back. Intermittently, it would start and stop.

He entered the pantry to find the lettuce. He remembered that he no longer had to feel around in the dark, so he flicked the switch to turn the light on. Benjamin stopped and took an intake of breath. His blood ran cold and found himself unable to move.

Olivia sat with the kids in a restaurant. She decided to treat them all to a nice meal before going back to the farm.

‘Why were you and daddy shouting last night, mummy?’ asked Sophia.

Before Olivia could speak, Ethan interjected. ‘It was because dad is tight as a gnat’s arse.’

Olivia shot Ethan a look of annoyance. ‘Sometimes mummy’s and daddy’s argue, sweetheart. It’s nothing for you to worry about.’

The four-year-old accepted the explanation and resumed the destruction of her bowl of ice cream.

‘Dad doesn’t like spending money, though, does he?’ asked Alexander, their seven-year-old middle child.

‘He likes to look after us in his own way. He thinks that if we save money now, then if anything happens to the farm, we’ll have money to fall back on.’ Said Olivia.

‘But what’s the point in having money if you don’t want to spend it?’ Said Alexander with a stoic tone. ‘I mean, you never know if you’re going to get chance to spend it. Anything could happen.’

Forty minutes later, Olivia and the kids pulled up into the driveway of the large farmhouse.

As they entered the house, they could immediately hear a disturbance coming from the kitchen. Olivia quickly made her way through the hallway and found her husband lying on the floor, surrounded by pots, pans and most of the contents from the pantry.

She looked at Benjamin lying on his stomach, facing the small room with the light buzzing above his head.

‘Oh my god, are you okay?’ she shrieked.

‘Shhh.’ It’s in there. I saw it.’ He whispered.

‘Saw what?’ asked Olivia as she panted after the shock of thinking her husband was injured.

‘A bloody mouse. It’s in there somewhere. I turned on the light and it was sitting on top of the potatoes, plain as day, just looking at me. Oh my god, I hate the bloody things.’ He shuddered.

‘I thought you were injured. Or worse.’ Said Olivia.

Later that evening, after Benjamin had triumphantly caught the mouse, the family were sitting round the dinner table enjoying Olivia’s famous sausage casserole. It was a favourite of the family’s, and she would often make double the amount as the kids and Benjamin would ask for more.

‘If we find any more mice, can we keep them as pets, daddy?’ asked Sophia.

Benjamin shuddered. ‘No, they’re pests. They need to be exterminated.’

Olivia could see the horror in Sophia’s eyes. ‘We don’t need to exterminate them, we just need to find them and move them to a new home, sweetheart. Don’t worry, daddy won’t hurt them.’

Benjamin shook his head. ‘No, they need to be killed. It’s the only way to deal with them.’

Sophia began to cry.

Olivia slammed her knife and fork down on the table, making everyone jump. ‘Stop it, why are you trying to upset your daughter. Just tell her what she wants to hear.’

‘She has to learn about life. Sometimes you need to deal with a problem, sometimes it’s not pretty. You carry on pretending that the world is full of rainbows and unicorns, but I will never lie to her.’ Benjamin crackled.

’She’s four. She’s a four-year-old. She doesn’t need to hear stuff like this.’ Olivia shouted.

’Why don’t you both shut up.’ Screamed Ethan.

Both Olivia and Benjamin looked at him. He had never spoken to them like that before.

Benjamin felt his anger rising, his head was beginning to hurt. The regular arguing with his wife, the way he was spoken to by his son, and the constant crying coming from his daughter.

‘Just get someone who can catch the mice in a nice way, dad.’ Suggested Alexander. ‘They will have traps that don’t hurt them, and they can be taken to a field or somewhere where they would be happy.’

Alexander held his little sister’s hand. ‘Don’t worry, they won’t be hurt.’

‘Do you really think I will pay for a charlatan to come with hippy ideas that all animals deserve a beautiful life. These are mice we are talking about.’ Snapped Benjamin. ‘They’re vermin and they need to be killed before they breed and get out of control.’

Olivia had had enough.

‘Come on kids, it’s time for bed.’ She said. ‘Leave this old grump down here.’

‘Yeah, go to bed all of you. I’m sick of you all.’ Crackled Benjamin.

Sophia did as she was told and tried to give her dad a kiss goodnight. Benjamin was incensed that his family was turning against him. Before Sophia could give him a cuddle, he slid back his chair and walked out of the house.

The kids were all tucked up in bed. Sophia was still upset by her dad’s behaviour with her. She never went to bed without giving him a kiss. ‘Why does daddy hate me?’ She asked Olivia who was perched on her bed, stroking her hair.

‘Your daddy loves you very much. He loves all of us.’ She whispered.

‘The why does he say horrible things?’

Olivia sighed. ’Your daddy is just very old fashioned in his ways. He likes to fix things himself; he likes to save money for us just to make sure we have a nice future. In his own way, he does it all for us. He works hard on the farm to give you nice food in your belly and a nice comfortable house to live in. He really does love us, he can just be a grumpy bum every now and again.’

Sophia giggled. ‘Grumpy bum.’ She turned over and closed her eyes. ‘I love my grumpy bum daddy.’

Olivia gave her a kiss and said goodnight before going into her bedroom and climbing into bed. Before too long, the whole family were asleep.

Meanwhile, Benjamin was still trying to calm down. He had put a saddle on Lucky and was riding her through the fields. It was dusk, a red sky, such a peaceful time.

After an hour, he decided that he was ready to face Olivia. He was tired and just wanted to get into bed without any fuss. As he stopped the horse and turned round, he could see black smoke coming from over the hill. It must could only been coming from the house.

‘Shit!’ he shouted before setting off, the horse in full gallop towards the farmhouse. As he came over the brow of the hill, he could see the house, the entire ground floor engulfed in flames.

The horse couldn’t run any faster, but it was not fast enough for Benjamin. The horror of what was happening in front of his eyes was sending cold electric charges down his spine.

He was within fifty metres of the house when Lucky bolted. Benjamin was thrown from the horse and landed on his neck. For a few seconds, he lost consciousness until he came to.

He could feel the heat coming from the flames, and through the crackling of the fire, he could hear his family screaming. He tried to get up but could not move. He soon figured that he had broken his neck. Nothing would move. The only thing he could do was watch the house rapidly being consumed by the aggressive flames. The sounds of his family’s screams becoming more panicked and desperate until there was silence.

Benjamin woke up. He kept his eyes closed after the nightmare he had just experienced.

The smell of a freshly brewed coffee made by his wife was absent. Instead, he could only smell cleaning products. He opened his eyes to find himself in a white room. He tried to move but his body wouldn’t react. All he could do was dart his eyes around, he could see machines with numbers illuminated, wires and white walls. He looked down to see his body. His body was broken.

He screamed.

A nurse came into the room and called for assistance. After a minute, there were nurses and doctors in the room.

‘Where are my family?’ he asked desperately.

‘Mr Johnson, you need to rest. You’ve been in a coma for three days. You need to rest.’ Said one of the nurses.

He could see the doctors looking at the machines, taking notes and quietly chatting.

‘Where are my family?’ he asked again.

The nurse shot a look to one of the doctors in the room. He ushered everyone out and sat on the chair next to Benjamin’s bed.

’Where the fuck is my family?’ Benjamin snapped at the doctor.

‘Mr Johnson. There was a fire at your house. I’m not sure yet how much you remember, but I’m afraid I have to tell you that your family succumbed to the flames.’ Quietly said the doctor.

‘No. No, you don’t tell me that again. Where are my family. Are they okay?’ Benjamin stuttered.

‘I’m afraid not.’ The doctor held his head low. ‘Your family perished in the house fire, Mr Johnson.’

After another three weeks, the police family liaison officer was a regular visitor at Benjamin’s bedside. She worked with him to allow him to grieve, while trying to find out the details of the circumstances leading up to the fire.

It was Sunday and the liaison officer came into the hospital room carrying an official looking document.

‘Hello Benjamin. I have details from the finding of the fire service investigators.’ She pulled out a piece of paper from the folder. ‘They have found the source of the blaze. They say that the fire started in the pantry. Faulty wiring is to blame.’