I see her with him from across the square. She doesn’t see me. I make sure of that, hiding deep underneath the leaves of an oak tree, hidden from the streetlights and their revelations.
I have spent the entire year watching and waiting for a time that would be safe for me to fulfill my promise to her. I told her I would find a way for us to meet, find a way for us to be together.
Today is the first day that I feel like I am in the right place for us to finally get to be in each other’s presence and hopefully more than that. Today is the day that I feel like maybe our love can be more than just words and our lives might be shared. I want to surprise her, walk up next to her, and lower my voice so only she can hear my greeting, my promise of love.
I have been out here watching her in the window of that coffee shop for the last ten minutes. It is dark and the moonless sky offers me solace and comfort. I am building up the confidence that I need to take those first steps toward her.
But he arrives first, two coffees in hand. He passes her one and places a kiss on her cheek. She smiles and he sits beside her. Too close if you ask me... much too close.
They are laughing and smiling at each other. She sits comfortably. At ease in this place with him. I hate that she is sharing that smile, my smile, with him. I hate that he can hear her laugh, hear the lilt in her voice when she is being particularly charming.
At this moment, I feel as though I have no place in her world though she is all of mine. I hope that I am wrong, but my eyes convince me that she is right where she wants to be and that I am not even a blip in her memory.
He has all of her attention. She can’t take her eyes off him as he talks. He is just as enamored with her. He gets to listen to her laugh and his arm gets to brush up against hers. He gets to do all of the things that I want and need.
He stands and begins to leave when she stops him for a hug. Damn him, that is my hug. Those beautiful arms are meant to wrap around me and the hair flowing in the wind is supposed to entangle me, capture me with its charm.
She is facing me across the square now, still with her arms around him. I can’t help but stare at her, she looks peaceful and happy, really happy.
Then, the smile on her face begins to flutter and change into something more meaningful. She has still not seen me.I can’t stand to watch and take a step out of the dark to turn and leave her in her happiness.
The last thing she needs is a man like me ruining this life that she has built for herself. I have too little to offer her, to little to give her what she deserves.
At that instant, just as I am stepping out of the dark to leave this place and allow her a better life than one I can promise, a car passes too closely and showcases me and my hiding spot. Her head raises at the perfect moment. She sees me in the distance and our eyes lock. After a moment of confusion, light fills her eyes, and a smile bigger than the one that she shared with him fills her face, causing her dimples to deepen. It delivers me a small amount of hope.
I try to crawl back into the dark space, and try to make her question herself, try to allow her to stay happy in his arms. It is too late. She recognizes me. She knows that I am here for her.
Just like that, she runs across the square adeptly dodging passerby’s and one small chihuahua. She throws herself into my arms wrapping me tightly in an embrace. I take her in, the warmth of her, the softness of her skin, her floral and cardamom scent, the feeling of her silky hair wrapping itself around me, sending shivers down my arms. With pleasure, I return the hug.
She drops her purse, her shopping bag, and her keys on the ground and moves her arms around my neck. My arms move of their own volition farther down her waist finding their final resting spot on her hips. Her eyes twinkle with something I can’t quite place. My heart rate quickens as my nerves calm. I pull her so close there is no space left between us.
Our eyes meet and she pushes up on her toes, her mouth dangerously close to mine. “Are you sure you want to do this, with him standing over there?” I ask her softly.
I don’t know if I want to know the answer. I desperately want her. I desperately want to be the one that she has chosen.
“Who?” she responds, “My brother? Why would he care? Oh...” she smiles. “...you are jealous.” I see a smirk on her face and lower my gaze, suddenly embarrassed.
She raises my chin with her hand and meeting my eyes whispers in the world’s most seductive and gentle voice, “Love, I only have you in my heart and on my mind. There is only you.” I look up, believing her, believing the truth in her eyes, believing in possibilities.
Never releasing her from my arms or my eyes, I lean in. Our lips meet in a sweet and scandalous kiss. She is all that there eveer has been and all there ever will be.
And, in her embrace, the world around us disappears, I can only feel her warmth, see her emerald eyes and imagine the rest of our days and dream of all the days left to come.
