Divine Intervention
Gwendolyn Morales Stacy, otherwise known as the Spider-Woman of Earth 65B, started her morning efficiently. The bed, which she always shared with her husband, did its best to ensnare her in its comfort. Of course, the soft mattress and warm blankets were no match for this determined and dutiful mother. Kissing her husband, who remained curled on his side while facing her, she hurried off into the shower.
Once cleaned, she made sure to get her eight-year-old twins out of bed so she could prepare them breakfast, which were eggs and baked beans with sausages on the side. Her kids, who were usually energetic on a Saturday morning, were strangely sluggish. She assumed that it was just morning blues.
After all, she too didn’t get much sleep last night.
With her back turned to clear the dishes at their kitchen sink, Gwen did her best to bite back a smirk while her mind replayed the events of the night before. She remembered every detail, every touch, and every other sensation that made her all fuzzy inside, even now.
Right on queue, a familiar set of footsteps entered the living room.
“Morning, kids.”
“Morning, dad.” they responded lazily.
This earned them an eyebrow raise. “You two okay?” he asked concernedly.
“Yeah.” Their body language said otherwise; both were hunched over their plates, dancing their utensils over their food without yet taking a bite.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” they insisted before finally scooping in their first mouthfuls, almost like they were both trying to distract themselves from something.
“Okay…”
Conceding, Miles Morales, known to many as the Spider-Man of Earth 1610, approached his blonde wife from behind to hook his arms around her waist and rest his stubbly chin on the crook of her neck.
“Want some help with that?” his whispery breath warmed her ear, causing the hairs all over her body to stand up, just like before. “Or would you rather I just watch?”
“Careful, honey…” she lowered her voice with a quick glance back, “… we don’t want the kids to suspect anything. Besides, we both know I’m much better at this than you are.”
“Oh, come on.” Pecking her cheek, he released his hold, raising his hands in defeat, before joining their kids at the table.
Gwen could only smirk as she stared out of her window to the beautiful skyline of their Earth 8 New York City; from the way its pinkish-orange color scheme blended together, it was almost like this universe was specifically and immaculately designed for them.
Turning away, she too joined her family. Once everyone was seated, she couldn’t help but notice the weird side-glares that were being shot her way from the youngest members. The more she wondered why, the more it worried her. This didn’t go unnoticed by her husband either.
“Seriously, are you guys alright?” Miles asked a little firmer this time.
Their daughter, Charlotte, turned her head while chewing slowly. Her frowning eyes bounced between her mom and dad hastily.
“We’re worried about you, dear.” Gwen added, smiling kindly. “What’s wrong?”
Swallowing, she answered, “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why is that, dear?” Gwen leaned closer. “Did you have nightmares?”
She shook, still playing with her food.
“Did you stay up late again?” With a slight frown of her own, Gwen held her hips. “Please, tell me you didn’t try to crawl up on the ceiling agai—”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“We heard funny noises coming from your bedroom last night.”
With visibly alarmed expressions, both parents whipped their heads to their son, Max. It took them less than a second to process what he had just said. Miles felt his whole body short-circuit while Gwen’s face pinkened profusely.
“F-Funny noises…?” they stammered in unison.
“W-What…?” Miles cleared his throat, trying to gather himself. “W-What do you mean?”
“F-From where?” his wife added, her eyes now wide and unblinking.
With a look of pure innocence and curiosity, Max answered, “You and mom.”
Right then, the un-costumed spider-couple glanced at each other in mortifying realization.
Oh, shit… they heard us!
“A-Are you s-sure you weren’t just dreaming, Max?” Gwen persisted, trying her absolute hardest to keep a straight face. “You know, uh… sleepwalking?”
Miles shot her a confused scowl, to which she shrugged weakly.
“No, we were definitely awake.” their son affirmed, his sister nodding. “At first, we thought you were fighting.” He began gesturing with his fists. “The bed was creaking very loudly, and you were cursing at dad. I thought he was hurting you, so we were about to charge in—”
“You were about to charge in.” Charlotte corrected.
“So I was about to charge in until I then heard you shouting at him to…” he waved blankly, “… go harder and faster?? It was really confusing.”
Gwen’s hand flew up to mask her face. If she wasn’t already sweating bullets, she certainly was now – she seriously wanted to die at this point. She would rather be facing another multiversal threat than have to deal with this. She wanted this to be a dream, an embarrassing nightmare that could end by simply opening her eyes.
Miles, who shared his wife’s sentiment, rested his gaze on the table. Swallowing hard, he held his breath for about a minute. His mind raced for an excuse, a white lie to deflect their children’s curiosity with, but it was emptier than a cartridge.
“Maybe it was our… neighbors.” he tried regardless.
“Nope,” Charlotte shook, “it was definitely coming from your bedroom. It was definitely mom’s voice we could hear.” She too proceeded to motion. “She kept shouting, ‘F me! F me!’ over and over again… were you guys playing a game?”
“Did you win, dad?” questioned Max excitedly.
Miles sat with his mouth ajar while Gwen shrank in her seat, her cheeks redder than ever before – she now wanted to hide under the table and curl into a ball, never to be seen or heard from again.
“At one point,” Charlotte continued obliviously, “I remember mom calling you a very naughty boy, and then there was all this spanking then clapping… I think you were even encouraging it.”
“E-Encouraging it…?” her dad stuttered, “… and what do you mean by the clapping?”
“It sounded like a really mean game of Pat-A-Cake. She was even calling you daddy!”
Oh, no…
With a hard sigh, Miles rubbed his face with both hands aggressively – he felt like vomiting. Whatever comfort and pleasure he and his wife shared last night were whisked away thanks to their own carelessness; he was only thankful of their kids’ blissful ignorance.
In all this time, he realized that he had yet to touch his wife’s cooking. Grabbing his fork, he stabbed it into a sausage then forced it into his mouth, chomping loudly in hopes of blocking out any further unwanted questions.
Gwen, in the meantime, decided to take some large sips out of her steaming coffee, which managed to relax her somewhat – this, however, was short-lived.
“Hey, dad?”
“Yeff, Makff?” answered Miles with his mouth full.
“When can we also see your special web-shooter?”
In sync, the spidery couple spat out whatever contents they had in their mouths all over the table and floor, coughing and gagging, while their kids reeled back in shock. Gwen patted her husband, who nearly choked on his sausage, before he gathered himself soon after.
“S-Sorry!” Miles shot up from his seat. “I’ll clear this up!”
“No, no,” Gwen rose from her own chair to push him back down, “let me.”
“Hon’, it’s okay.” he insisted. “I can clean this.”
“I know, but…” she leaned into his ear, whispering, “… I need to distract myself for a bit.”
Before he could agree or disagree, the doorbell rang.
Miles hurried across the dining area to answer their front door.
“Mom! Dad!” he exclaimed.
“Mijo!” His mother, Rio Morales, flung her arms around his neck to mark both his cheeks with kisses. “How are you?”
“I’m good, ma.” he responded with a relieved smile. “And you?”
“We’re good.” Releasing her son, he stretched her arms out for her grandchildren next. “And how are my nietos?”
“Abuela!”
Mad with excitement, Max and Charlotte leapt out of their seats into their grandmother’s arms. Even with her age, she had just enough strength to carry them both. She showered them with kisses too.
“Hey, what about me??” Their grandfather, Jefferson Morales, made a pouty face.
Just like a spider, Max zipped from his grandmother to give his abuelo the same love.
“Wow!” Jeff measured the boy’s height. “You’re getting bigger every day, aren’t you?”
Gwen and Miles were so lost in their embarrassment that they forgot they were having visitors today; they were nonetheless grateful for their timely arrival.
They were quite literally saved by the bell.
Not too long after, their third guest, a blonde greying man with the same bulky stature as Jefferson, steps through their front door as well.
“Dad!” cried Gwen as she finished up with the floor. “Thank God you’re here too!”
“How’s my baby girl?” George Stacy opened his arms to welcome a speedy hug from his daughter. “Well… my bigger baby girl.” He glanced at Charlotte.
“I’m good.” she replied quickly. “Just, uh… clearing up a mess.”
“Yeah.” Miles concurred with a brisk nod.
Pulling away from his daughter, he embraced his son-in-law wholeheartedly.
“Glad to see you too, sir!” Miles grunted; even for an old man, this former police captain was pretty strong.
“Please, call me George.”
“Okay…” he stepped back to catch his breath, “… George.”
After greeting her father, Gwen rushed to hug her two in-laws. “I missed you guys so much!”
“How are you, Mija?” asked Rio while swaying her.
“I’m great.”
Gwen always loved Rio’s hugs; it reminded the young woman of her own mother who passed from their lives too soon.
“Are you two behaving?”
She flinched at this question, her eyes snapping wide open, before calming herself. “Yeah, yeah, yeah… of course!” She forced a grin, which came out crooked.
“I was talking to the kids…” Rio raised a suspecting eyebrow, “… but okay.”
“Oh, uh…”
At a loss, Gwen fell back to the kitchen to help Miles bin the rest of their mess. Away from the others, the two could finally converse.
“Next time,” she whispered while checking over her shoulder, “we should send the kids to your parents’… or even my dad’s.”
Her husband rolled his eyes while dusting his hands. “Or you could just learn to be quieter.”
“Excuse me?” With a lined scowl, Gwen held her hips while pointing a thumb at herself. “This thing only goes at eleven. You should know, we’ve been married long enough!”
Miles hushed her, motioning his wife to lower her voice.
Rolling her own eyes, she crossed her arms. “Besides, it’s your fault.”
“Oh, really?” He stood up to meet her eye level.
“Yeah…” she egged, pursing her lips cheekily.
They were nose-to-nose, almost challenging each other to do something about it.
“Tell you what…” he purred.
“Yeah?” Gwen bit her lip, stewing with anticipation.
“… we could put that theory to test tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah, tonight.” He narrowed his glare.
“Naughty…” she placed a finger on his mouth, “… but later, okay?”
“Sure, sure…” he raised his hands before leaning into her ear again, “… how about the ceiling this time?”
To this, Gwen turned redder than a chili. Her heart raced while goosebumps peaked all over her skin again.
“Can we join!?” asked Charlotte out of the blue, who only heard the last part.
Once again, an icy chill ran down their spines as they swiveled back to their family. They were met with bug-eyed stares from all three parents, who had clearly overheard them - he didn’t whisper quietly enough.
Oh, shit…
Charlotte remained oblivious. “I’m getting really good at crawling on the ceiling now.”
This statement made the young couple’s situation no better – they were back to square one.
“You crazy kids.” the older fathers spoke in unison, shaking their heads in disappointment.
So much for divine intervention.
THE END.
