A Bicycle Disaster.

It had been a great afternoon as always with my way older sister- I mean there are 17 years between us-a unique kind of relationship. A ready made babysitter.

I think I’m what you might call an unplanned last minute surprise. Anyhow-down to the story.

Aged 16, there I was cycling back from my elder sister’s home after a time of chat and pleasant food.

Normally that wouldn’t have been a problem, but a very steep downward road, a bicycle, a pretty girl walking by and a bunch of kids who enjoyed playing chicken-for the uninitiated- forming a life threatening barrier across the road as a dare-isn’t a good combination.

I remember nothing but the girl and the lads on the road. I’m guessing I must have been travelling around 30 mph. This was in the days before cycle helmets and common sense.

Then nothing until my next memory. One’s brain just seems to shut down. There isn’t an awareness of time. A vaguely remembered group of young boys blocking the road until the next conscious moment evolved into my lying on the grass at the side of the road surrounded by several clearly anxious people looking down at me. I remember one guy shouting, “You’ll be happy now you’ve killed someone!” and someone else saying “He’s had it”.

I was too far gone to take on board the significance of the remarks. I was drifting in and out of consciousness. But I remember thinking ‘someone’s there for you at times of crisis’. I’m talking about how strangers pull together at such times for the common good. An inborn instinct.

Then I woke up in the Ambulance. I asked the classic question and believe it or not felt self conscious asking because it was such a hackneyed phrase. You guessed: “What happened?” Answer: “You came off your bike”. There was a guy who knew his job. Now, being the smart ass that I am, in his position, I would have assessed my level of consciousness by asking, “What do YOU think happened?” But that’s an afterthought.

Unconscious again. That must have been some knock to the head! My brain was clearly saying “Leave me alone!”.

Then I was lying on a trolley in Accident & Emergency swallowing blood whilst a Doctor stitched my face. I was partially awake now and even then my weird sense of humour was standing by. “I’m swallowing blood”, I said. “Don’t worry, the Doctor said, it didn’t do Dracula any harm”.

“Yeah”, I replied, “but he was dead”.

Boy, my face was a mess. Cover your ears now if you’re squeamish.

Broken nose, upper lip split open up until the bottom of my nose, four front teeth missing, several of the bottom ones broken and knocked out of alignment and cuts and scars everywhere. And that was just my head.

I lay in a hospital ward with three other males who either couldn’t sleep or didn’t want to sleep. It’s difficult to describe how your mind responds to an injury. I’ll tell you my response. It was surreal. I didn’t understand how serious my injuries were. I didn’t understand what had happened to me. I most certainly didn’t understand how life changing the trauma I had been through would be. I wasn’t projecting ahead.

My brain seemed to be fully occupied with protecting me. I don’t remember sleeping in Hospital.

In the morning, my family collected me and I remember the last words of the staff on duty-“What a shame”.

But the strangest thing is that I didn’t feel unwell. Adrenaline was still pumping through me even after almost 24 hours.

I even insisted upon going into the local store and watching TV at home. I was still going strong.

And then I just collapsed into a heap of battered flesh and bone filled with trauma and pain.

Analgesics wrecked my stomach lining after a while and I remember lying crying in my mother’s arms.

My Aunt walked a long way everyday for those three weeks to bring me watermelon, because with my battered mouth, it was the only thing I could eat.

I still have a nose out of alignment. I managed to get four dental implants for £100 instead of £1000 because of a letter to the Dental Society saying ‘How can you condemn a young man to live with a dental plate for the rest of his life due to an accident that wasn’t his fault?’

I still remember my Dentist saying, “I don’t know how you did it, but…”

And that was it until my next medical emergency. But I shan’t bore you with that just yet.

As for the four kids-I never did hear what happened to them, but I like to think that they lost their Lego bricks.

Shaun Robertson. October 24th 2023.