Chapter 1
Prologue
“Ma’am, hindi na po ba kayo tutuloy?”
I took a deep breath. I have been contemplating for fifteen minutes if I will get out of my car or go home. No doubt that this is going to be a massive project. They wanted me. This opportunity could significantly impact my future career. To reject it means you’re reckless and stupid, and I refuse to be one.
Kahit anong pilit kong pag-iwas, tila gagawa at gagawa pa rin talaga ng paraan ang tadhana para paglaruan ako at ng damdamin ko.
“Kiara, they are waiting for you. You never contemplate with your projects and this one is undoubtedly huge. It will benefit you too. I’m sure you’re aware of that.” Even my manager, Rika, butted in and urged me to get out of my car. Hindi ako nagsalita.
Pumikit ako nang mariin. I know I need to get out and show up. Kailangan ko lang ng oras. Limang minuto pa...
When I first heard of this project, I was amused and exhilarated. Lalo na nang marinig ko na ako mismo ang pinili nila para sa proyektong ito. Usually, you’d have to go for auditions. But if you made a name in the industry, minsan hindi na kailangan.
I thought that was the case for me not until I learned who the band is.
My friends in the industry were excited for me. Hindi mapagkakaila na malaki na ang pangalan ng banda nila sa industriya. The whole country loves them. Kung mayroon din silang tagahanga mula sa iba pang bansa sa Asya ay hindi na rin ako magugulat.
Kung tutuusin, puwede kong tanggihan. I would let my feelings take over and let my pride prevail like what I always do. Pero alam kong hindi iyon tama.
More reason why I can’t fuck this up and disappoint everyone!
No matter how hard I try to push aside the echoes of my thoughts, I just can’t seem to shake them off. Pilit itong umaalingawngaw. Hindi matapos tapos. At hindi matahimik.
I exhaled.
“Let’s go,” I said, finally after twenty minutes.
My personal driver opened the van for us. Rika and I stepped out. I walked past her with my head held high, regaining my composure as I entered the building. Akala mo hindi kabadong kabado kanina.
With my black halter dress and stilettos, all eyes were on me. I pursed my lips as I realized that everything I wore was black, making me look like I was attending a funeral. Parang ganoon na rin. Kasi sa bawat hakbang ko, mukha mang elegante sa paningin ng iba, it felt like I was walking to my own demise.
“Nandito na po si Miss Riveral,” one of the staff announced as he opened the glass door for us, which I wish he hadn’t done. What a grand entrance. Great!
It was bright inside the room, and I hadn’t brought my eyeglasses, making it difficult to see everyone clearly. It was an abrupt and stupid decision of my makeup artist and me to not wear contact lenses too. Despite that, it was apparent to me that there were at least fifteen of us inside the room, ako na lang ang hinihintay.
Or so I thought.
“Kiara, please take a seat.”
Their faces became clear to me when I sat down. Right in front of me are some people who are well-known in the industry, ranging from directors to producers, and such. Kaya naman mas lalo kong inayos ang pag-upo ko at sinubukang magmukhang propesyunal sa harap nila.
Mukhang may iba pang hinihintay.
“Anna, where are the boys?” one of the producers asked the staff.
“Nasa parking lot pa po. Paakyat na raw sila, Sir,” she explained.
Itinaas ko ang kilay ko. They’re late? That’s new.
I know them like the back of my hand. Responsable. May mga sariling prinsipyo na sinusunod. Their morals were one of the things I looked up to the most.
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Seems like your artists are late.”
I saw a hint of fear in their faces, afraid that they would displease me. It made me feel like I had the upper hand in the situation. My smile grew wider at the thought.
“I apologize. They’re usually not late for our meetings or practices. Lalong lalo na sa mga performance nila,” the other producer explained. “Don’t worry. I’m sure they will be here in a few minutes.”
I know.
“I can wait,” I assured them.
My back rested on the swivel chair. Ang totoo, nagpapasalamat ako na wala pa sila dahil kung dumating man sila at nasa iisang kwarto kami, mukhang hindi ko yata kaya. Besides, it’s been what? Four years? Hindi ko na rin binilang.
I have long buried some memories in the back of my head, never allowing them to resurface. To claw their way back into me. To demand attention and give them another chance at living.
Matagal ko nang inilibing ang memorya na iyon sa isipan ko. Kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit may mga alaala na bumabalik pa rin upang guluhin ako sa kanilang presensya at tumatangging mawala nang tuluyan sa dilim.
“Nandito na po sila,” Anna announced, making everyone around me let out a sigh of relief.
My heart was hammering. While everyone was relieved, I felt like I was minutes away from meeting my demise.
“Are we late?”
Four familiar men entered the meeting room. They held their heads high like I did before, never minding the fact that they stood fashionably late.
Their eyes immediately locked onto me, but one among them held a gaze so intense it felt like it could pierce through my very soul.
Agad kong iniwas ang tingin ko at itinuon sa mga direktor at producer sa harap ko. Ni hindi na ako nakatayo katulad ng iba para magbigay pugay sa kanilang pagdating. Tumitig ako sa kawalan habang ang puso ko, kinakabahan.
Kung hindi pa nagsalita ang manager ko sa tabi ay hindi ako mababalik sa aking katinuan.
“Okay ka lang? Magsisimula na ang meeting.”
Inayos ko ang aking upo. Ramdam ko ang bigat ng kanilang mga tingin sa akin, ngunit mataas ang aking pridyeksyon para pansinin sila muli. Saka na lang kapag kinakailangan, hindi ba?
“So, Ms. Riveral, what do you say? Other people are dying to have this project. Some went through auditions pero ikaw ay pinili mismo ng Avenida. We know your management said yes to this already. Pero gusto lang naming manigurado,” sambit ng isang producer.
My eyes widened at the sudden realization. So it wasn’t the agency who handpicked me but them!
Pero bakit? Nakitaan ba nila ako ng talento o potensyal? O hindi kaya ay sinasadya nila?
Para saan? Dahil sa biglang pag-alis ko?
“Even if she agrees to our proposal, will she be suitable for the song and the plot of the music video?” Stuart asked the room, his gaze intense, making me doubt my first assumption. Is he questioning my acting abilities?
Napansin niya siguro ang masama kong tingin sa kaniya, dahilan para tumingin ito sa direksyon ko at gumawad ng isang nakakalokong ngisi.
I always thought that Stuart was the kindest one, pero sa sinabi niya ngayon ay hindi na ako sigurado.
“She can pull it off, Stuart. Are you doubting Ara?” Dev chimed in, causing my heart to race. He called me by the nickname that I buried a long time ago, kasabay ng pagburol ng mga alaala kasama sila.
“Right. We need someone who looks angelic enough for the music video anyway.” Simoun tried to act as professional as possible, but his pursed lips irritated me. It was obvious he was struggling to hold back laughter.
I knew resisting the urge to look at their faces up close would be impossible as the meeting tackled important matters. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, and it’s draining my energy.
Too much for a burial that happened ages ago.
“Angelic... and rebellious.”
I closed my eyes tightly as I heard his voice. It was only three words, yet it echoed into my mind...
As I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was his eyes fixed on me.
His voice became deeper. Mas sumeryeso na rin sa pananalita kahit dinig ko ang mapaglarong tono sa boses niya kanina. He grew bigger and had muscles in the right places. Ngunit ang pinaka napansin ko ay ang piercing sa dila niya habang nagsasalita. Something that the former Kody would never have done.
“Just like how you like it, Kods, hindi ba?” makahulugang tanong ni Simoun.
I take back what I said about Simoun being professional. Fuck him!
“I accepted this offer wholeheartedly when I first heard it given to me,” I started my speech by lying. “Ibinigay niyo ang tiwala niyo sa akon para rito. It is just right for me to pour my heart and soul into this project and I assure you it will be successful.”
Naninimbang ang mga tingin nila sa akin. Somehow, I feel like they could see through the lies I blurted out.
Higit sa lahat, titig na titig si Kody sa akin. He was playing with his lips, trying to hide a playful smirk while watching me do my speech with amusement.
He never once removed that look from me habang ako ay nanghihina. Kaya tinitigan ko rin siya pabalik. Kaso hindi ako nagtagal dahil bawat segundong lumilipas, napapaso ako.
Matagal ko nang inilibing ang mga memoryang iyon pero sa hindi malamang dahilan ay unti unti silang bumabalik sa pagkabuhay.
