Before we collide (ENGLISH VERSION)

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

Am I a lesbian? I don't know. I guess everyone could surely affirm who they are after graduating from college, I mean, you have already lived with yourself for 22 years. But for me it is not like that, I am 22 years old and I am very far from discovering the truth hidden in me, and that like flowers, is looking for the light, because everything changed since I met those brown eyes that completely changed my way of seeing the world. Nora lives in the shadows of her own heart, aware that something beats differently inside her, but she hides within herself to avoid being broken by the expectations of others. There is something inside her that she is unaware of and that, like flowers, is searching for the light. But just when Nora thinks she can follow her heart, she is faced with an insurmountable barrier that stands between her and the truth. Soon she will realize that she is so close, yet so far from finally being who she is. Unafraid, free from the shadows that haunt her. Every breakthrough is marked by the fear of losing everything, but every smile shared is a reminder that being herself won't hurt her. Join Nora on her journey to acceptance and the freedom to be who she really is.

Status
Ongoing
Chapters
36
Rating
5.0
Age Rating
18+

1. My life began at 22 apparently.

May

— The days have been boring lately since the last final exams are over, but we look forward to this semester being very useful for the new students of our prestigious Seattle Central University, as well as for our graduates! We wish you much success!

— That’s right Charlie! We hope the graduates enjoyed their stay at the university. You see, one day it’s your first day and the next you’re already leaving university...

I was taking things out of my locker that for so many years kept what are now memories of my university life. My hands shook slightly as I removed the books and notes, leaving the space empty and desolate.

I looked closely at myself in the mirror I had hung on my locker door. My gray eyes reflected a mix of nostalgia and anticipation for what would come next. My night—black hair fell in soft waves over my shoulders, framing my pale face. A mole was visible under my left eye, a peculiarity that always reminded me of my mother, since she had the same mole in the same place.

I adjusted the glasses that rested on my nose, a constant companion during all those nights of studying. Although I sometimes hated them for the marks they left on the bridge of my nose, I couldn’t deny that they were a part of me. I examined myself carefully, trying to remember every feature of my face, aware that this was the end of one stage and the beginning of another. August

— The days have been boring lately since the last final exams are over, but we look forward to this semester being very useful for the new students of our prestigious Seattle Central University, as well as for our graduates! We wish you much success!

— That’s right Charlie! We hope the graduates enjoyed their stay at the university. You see, one day it’s your first day and the next you’re already leaving university...

I was taking things out of my locker that for so many years kept what are now memories of my university life. My hands shook slightly as I removed the books and notes, leaving the space empty and desolate.

I looked closely at myself in the mirror I had hung on my locker door. My gray eyes reflected a mix of nostalgia and anticipation for what would come next. My night—black hair fell in soft waves over my shoulders, framing my pale face. A mole was visible under my left eye, a peculiarity that always reminded me of my mother, since she had the same mole in the same place.

I adjusted the glasses that rested on my nose, a constant companion during all those nights of studying. Although I sometimes hated them for the marks they left on the bridge of my nose, I couldn’t deny that they were a part of me. I examined myself carefully, trying to remember every feature of my face, aware that this was the end of one stage and the beginning of another. My life began at 22 apparently.

I carefully removed the mirror while I heard the voices of a woman and a man through the speakers in the hallways, they were the announcers of the university radio. Then I prepared to walk towards the exit carrying the things I had left in my locker for so many years. I had in my hands years of experiences at the university that had opened so many doors for me, and thanks to which I met extraordinary people.

Almost none of the graduates were walking through the hallways, everyone had finished emptying their lockers before the week was over. I would have done it too if it weren’t for the immense melancholy that finishing this stage caused me. I decided to wait until last Friday to pick up my things, believing that the wait would last long enough to make me believe that nothing was going to change. But everything was about to change.

The truth is that it has always been difficult for me to let go, but this time it is justified, after all I was finishing the most important stage of my life, and it is something that not many achieve today.

I walked out the front door and walked a few steps before leaving. In one movement I turned around to admire the university logo, feeling the nostalgia of leaving an entire stage behind. Now she was a literature graduate, a true writer.

Everything was going to change from this moment on.

— Nora! What are you doing?

Grace, my classmate throughout college, was yelling at me through her car window. I jumped and spun in horror as soon as his scream interrupted my melancholic moment. Her wavy hair came out the window, her curls were always part of her personality.

— Nothing! I just admire the University for the last time. — I said approaching her car with some nostalgia mixed with melancholy.

— Oh, Nora, please, you hated almost half of the teachers. — she replied.

— TRUE. But can’t I be allowed a moment of melancholy for the good memories? — I replied as I loaded my belongings into the back seat, along with Grace’s.

— Okay, okay, but it’s not the end of the world, it’s best to get started!

And was the best really about to begin?

I got into the passenger seat and soon Grace started the car.

— And you know what, Nora? I have good news for you. We will celebrate our graduation at my house. — she announced, smiling from ear to ear.

— Oh yeah? Did your mother seriously accept? — I asked while looking out the window at the University that was getting smaller and smaller as we left. Farthest.

— Of course! She’s British, but she knows how to have fun, believe it or not. Plus, Mom Avery convinced her.

To be honest, Grace’s moms are the best. Mrs. Avery is a dark, black—haired woman with wavy hair that matches her curves. Great woman, hilarious to death. Her wife, Mrs. Charlotte, is a British woman, slightly taller than Mrs. Avery. Her hair is beautiful, straight and red. Her British nature makes her seem like a determined, reserved and serious woman, and she is, but when she is with her family she is totally relaxed. They both adopted Grace when she was little.

— Now everything makes sense, I’m glad your mom agreed. — I replied.

— Me too — she smiled, — Oh, and you remember my brother, right?

— Oliver? Sure, one time on your birthday he cried while you were blowing out the candles. — Grace laughed at the end of my sentence.

I remembered the exact moment in my mind. I visualized Oliver, a tall, British boy, son of Mrs. Charlotte, almost a copy of her but in a male version. He gave the appearance of being reserved and tough, but that day, on Grace’s birthday, I could see him hiding, shedding some sincere tears after feeling his little sister getting older.

— HA—HA, Leave it! He’s too sensitive for this world when it comes to me. — Grace commented, nudging me without losing sight of the road. — Anyway, he will be home today to celebrate our graduation. — she added.

— I assumed that, you are his adoration after all.

— That’s not all, his friends will be there too. You don’t mind, do you? — she asked, looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

I turned my gaze to Grace.

I knew Oliver well. After years of going to Grace’s house for the holidays, I knew beforehand that he is a very nice guy. He always wears a suit for his job since he is a successful lawyer, and his appearance is like that of some famous man who loves to dress in evening clothes, practically the downfall of any girl in love. But I never met his friends.

What I do know is that he is older than Grace, so his friends must be older too, I thought, maybe a bunch of men in suits would show up at the party holding “congratulations graduates” signs.

Just thinking about it made me laugh.

— No, not at all. — I finally responded.

—Cool!​ You’ll have a great time, I promise. They say they have a surprise prepared for us. — she mentioned tapping the steering wheel. — Today is a special occasion and I love surprises, so we will go celebrate right now.

— Oh — I looked at my outfit.

I was wearing a white tank top that matched my dark jeans. On the other hand, my hair was black as the night, I almost never needed it combed, but sometimes I liked to put it in a ponytail. Today I just decided to tie it up in a messy bun. I was comfortable with just me and Grace’s family being there, but Oliver’s friends?

What would the lawyers think of me? That I don’t have a hair straightener?

— Should I change my outfit? — I asked, the intrusive thoughts had attacked me.

— Negative, — Grace denied with her index finger, — a) it’s not a formal situation like that, and b) calm down, you look good. — she pointed out, winking at me.

I smiled, her comment relieved me a little, — Okay, I’ll trust you. — I sighed, I hoped she was right. I would hate to see a group of lawyers make fun of my non-formal outfit.

My intrusive thoughts were eclipsed by my consciousness, I remembered that I was used to celebrating anything at Grace’s house. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year; every important day I found myself celebrating at Grace’s house. It was logical to celebrate our graduation at her house. Also, her family is very kind to me. That made me feel better.

And the truth is that Grace’s family is great. Grace is the adopted daughter of two loving mothers. His siblings, Oliver and Madison are successful. Oliver is the best lawyer you will ever meet, and Madison is a Psychologist. They both love Grace very much, but Oliver is the most overprotective of her. He is almost never at work, but he always appears on important dates.

Soon we arrived at his house, a beautiful residence with the patio full of plants of all kinds. There were no fences because Grace’s mothers believed that a fence would make it difficult to see the yard.

— Okay, look at me and listen carefully. — Grace said, looking at me seriously after having parked the car in front of her house. I opened my eyes wide.

Grace grabbed my shoulders tightly. —If you get drunk I’m not going to hold your head again while you vomit. Last time you splashed me and I’ll never get over that.

We laugh. Memories of our last party invaded my mind. Although I had little memory of that part, the vague memory of Grace wiping herself while trying to hold my head so the vomit wouldn’t go down my nose made me laugh.

—Okay, okay! I promise not to get drunk. —I said raising my hands in the air.

— Wonderful, now, let the party begin. — she smiled at me as she got out of his car.

I got out of the car. The summer sun was caressing our skin. The weather is quite pleasant, and the fresh afternoon air surrounds us as we walk towards the entrance of the house. It seemed like good weather for a party.

Without much preamble we entered. Silence and darkness returned to us after passing through the front door. Apparently no one was home. When I saw Grace, I noticed that the sparkle in her eyes was gone, I felt the disappointment in her eyes.

— Oh, it seems we’re here very soon. — she expressed with a sigh of disappointment.

I was prepared to comfort her, but before I could say anything...

— Surprise!

Voices shouted and the lights suddenly turned on, revealing the decorations of the house and changing the somber and desolate atmosphere to one of celebration and joy.

Pastel-colored garlands and balloons adorned the place, accompanied by congratulatory posters and pictures of graduation caps. The mood soon turned cheerful.

I looked around the room, Grace’s eyes lit up with the scent of the place. I smiled as I watched her expression change from disappointment to joy in seconds.

Her mothers ran to hug her tightly, then her siblings, Oliver and Madison, who were home to celebrate as well.

Then they hugged me, and I received congratulations and lots of handshakes. I felt loved.

I carefully removed the mirror while I heard the voices of a woman and a man through the speakers in the hallways, they were the announcers of the university radio. Then I prepared to walk towards the exit carrying the things I had left in my locker for so many years. I had in my hands years of experiences at the university that had opened so many doors for me, and thanks to which I met extraordinary people.

Almost none of the graduates were walking through the hallways, everyone had finished emptying their lockers before the week was over. I would have done it too if it weren’t for the immense melancholy that finishing this stage caused me. I decided to wait until last Friday to pick up my things, believing that the wait would last long enough to make me believe that nothing was going to change. But everything was about to change.

The truth is that it has always been difficult for me to let go, but this time it is justified, after all I was finishing the most important stage of my life, and it is something that not many achieve today.

I walked out the front door and walked a few steps before leaving. In one movement I turned around to admire the university logo, feeling the nostalgia of leaving an entire stage behind. Now she was a literature graduate, a true writer.

Everything was going to change from this moment on.

— Nora! What are you doing?

Grace, my classmate throughout college, was yelling at me through her car window. I jumped and spun in horror as soon as his scream interrupted my melancholic moment. Her wavy hair came out the window, her curls were always part of her personality.

— Nothing! I just admire the University for the last time. — I said approaching her car with some nostalgia mixed with melancholy.

— Oh, Nora, please, you hated almost half of the teachers. — she replied.

— TRUE. But can’t I be allowed a moment of melancholy for the good memories? — I replied as I loaded my belongings into the back seat, along with Grace’s.

— Okay, okay, but it’s not the end of the world, it’s best to get started!

And was the best really about to begin?

I got into the passenger seat and soon Grace started the car.

— And you know what, Nora? I have good news for you. We will celebrate our graduation at my house. — she announced, smiling from ear to ear.

— Oh yeah? Did your mother seriously accept? — I asked while looking out the window at the University that was getting smaller and smaller as we left. Farthest.

— Of course! She’s British, but she knows how to have fun, believe it or not. Plus, Mom Avery convinced her.

To be honest, Grace’s moms are the best. Mrs. Avery is a dark, black—haired woman with wavy hair that matches her curves. Great woman, hilarious to death. Her wife, Mrs. Charlotte, is a British woman, slightly taller than Mrs. Avery. Her hair is beautiful, straight and red. Her British nature makes her seem like a determined, reserved and serious woman, and she is, but when she is with her family she is totally relaxed. They both adopted Grace when she was little.

— Now everything makes sense, I’m glad your mom agreed. — I replied.

— Me too — she smiled, — Oh, and you remember my brother, right?

— Oliver? Sure, one time on your birthday he cried while you were blowing out the candles. — Grace laughed at the end of my sentence.

I remembered the exact moment in my mind. I visualized Oliver, a tall, British boy, son of Mrs. Charlotte, almost a copy of her but in a male version. He gave the appearance of being reserved and tough, but that day, on Grace’s birthday, I could see him hiding, shedding some sincere tears after feeling his little sister getting older.

— HA—HA, Leave it! He’s too sensitive for this world when it comes to me. — Grace commented, nudging me without losing sight of the road. — Anyway, he will be home today to celebrate our graduation. — she added.

— I assumed that, you are his adoration after all.

— That’s not all, his friends will be there too. You don’t mind, do you? — she asked, looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

I turned my gaze to Grace.

I knew Oliver well. After years of going to Grace’s house for the holidays, I knew beforehand that he is a very nice guy. He always wears a suit for his job since he is a successful lawyer, and his appearance is like that of some famous man who loves to dress in evening clothes, practically the downfall of any girl in love. But I never met his friends.

What I do know is that he is older than Grace, so his friends must be older too, I thought, maybe a bunch of men in suits would show up at the party holding “congratulations graduates” signs.

Just thinking about it made me laugh.

— No, not at all. — I finally responded.

—Cool!​ You’ll have a great time, I promise. They say they have a surprise prepared for us. — she mentioned tapping the steering wheel. — Today is a special occasion and I love surprises, so we will go celebrate right now.

— Oh — I looked at my outfit.

I was wearing a white tank top that matched my dark jeans. On the other hand, my hair was black as the night, I almost never needed it combed, but sometimes I liked to put it in a ponytail. Today I just decided to tie it up in a messy bun. I was comfortable with just me and Grace’s family being there, but Oliver’s friends?

What would the lawyers think of me? That I don’t have a hair straightener?

— Should I change my outfit? — I asked, the intrusive thoughts had attacked me.

— Negative, — Grace denied with her index finger, — a) it’s not a formal situation like that, and b) calm down, you look good. — she pointed out, winking at me.

I smiled, her comment relieved me a little, — Okay, I’ll trust you. — I sighed, I hoped she was right. I would hate to see a group of lawyers make fun of my non-formal outfit.

My intrusive thoughts were eclipsed by my consciousness, I remembered that I was used to celebrating anything at Grace’s house. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year; every important day I found myself celebrating at Grace’s house. It was logical to celebrate our graduation at her house. Also, her family is very kind to me. That made me feel better.

And the truth is that Grace’s family is great. Grace is the adopted daughter of two loving mothers. His siblings, Oliver and Madison are successful. Oliver is the best lawyer you will ever meet, and Madison is a Psychologist. They both love Grace very much, but Oliver is the most overprotective of her. He is almost never at work, but he always appears on important dates.

Soon we arrived at his house, a beautiful residence with the patio full of plants of all kinds. There were no fences because Grace’s mothers believed that a fence would make it difficult to see the yard.

— Okay, look at me and listen carefully. — Grace said, looking at me seriously after having parked the car in front of her house. I opened my eyes wide.

Grace grabbed my shoulders tightly. —If you get drunk I’m not going to hold your head again while you vomit. Last time you splashed me and I’ll never get over that.

We laugh. Memories of our last party invaded my mind. Although I had little memory of that part, the vague memory of Grace wiping herself while trying to hold my head so the vomit wouldn’t go down my nose made me laugh.

—Okay, okay! I promise not to get drunk. —I said raising my hands in the air.

— Wonderful, now, let the party begin. — she smiled at me as she got out of his car.

I got out of the car. The summer sun was caressing our skin. The weather is quite pleasant, and the fresh afternoon air surrounds us as we walk towards the entrance of the house. It seemed like good weather for a party.

Without much preamble we entered. Silence and darkness returned to us after passing through the front door. Apparently no one was home. When I saw Grace, I noticed that the sparkle in her eyes was gone, I felt the disappointment in her eyes.

— Oh, it seems we’re here very soon. — she expressed with a sigh of disappointment.

I was prepared to comfort her, but before I could say anything...