Cutting
Cutting
TW:
If you feel uncomfortable or if you think this chapter will trigger you in any way, you do not have to read. This book is for mental health awareness and cutting is a part of mental health. If you choose not to read it will not affect the other chapters. If you do decide to read please know that there are people out there who understand you and love you, You are not a waste of space. Thank you.
Pain. That is all I feel sometimes, nobody understands this, they don’t understand how I can say I have this darkness blinding me, making me drown, choking me. To them I don’t exist. When I tell them something that they don’t want to hear they shut down, when I share something personal about my life they brush it off as a joke. Sometimes I can’t feel at all, I need something to remind that I’m here and that what is going on with me is real, so I take my blade, dig it into my skin, enjoying as I see the ruby red trail it leaves. I dig it deeper into my skin and start dragging it across my wrist, tearing skin as it moves. I tell myself I need this, that this is real, I’m REAL. When I’m done there are marks that trail up and down my arms, some still leaking that red life force. I know this is bad and I should stop, but the second that blade touches my wrist it grounds me and it feels so good, it’s like a drug that I can’t get enough of. I try to stop, but I keep thinking about it everyday and every night, the thought slams around in my brain, and it’s so loud I just want the noise to stop, so I grab that blade and cut until I feel satisfied. I keep waiting for the day that I cut too deep or my thoughts become too loud and I take that blade and the demons go away.
Millions of people suffer from cutting if you or a loved one is cutting please understand that this is an addiction and taking away the things they use to cut is not going to help them it will only make them worse.
