Touch of Lightning

" Good characterization, especially Cal and seeing things from her POV. The setting is good without being over-descriptive. I can picture the station, the mining below. Just enough to let imagination do its work while reading smoothly, not getting bogged down with over-description. Understand the “slow burn” aspect, though for me, I need more action, need my stories to progress more rapidly. That's just personal preference. (I understand the company's protocols, Rules & Regs &c, and anticipate where the story line, Cal in particular, is going as regards those, but felt a couple times that as the characters discussed them I was being beaten over the head with them.) Malvolio quickly becomes an unlikable fellow for me; I look forward to Cal dealing with that and following her heart elsewhere. I look forward to knowing Javolo better. He seems like a much better fit for Cal. You might receive some criticism for too much dialogue, though in this case I find it fitting. Always been a proponent of dialogue when it's necessary for the story. Not withstanding the tenet of Show, Not Tell, there are times when the characters need to talk to each other. That's what people do. The dialogue is realistic, the way people in this setting would talk. I like Cal's character. Hope she wins through in the end. This is definitely one of the better stories I've seen on Inkitt. Easily Top 5. "