Resolve

Tomorrow, we leave this frozen rock of a country. Dad wanted to see family, the rest of us wanted to go nap on a warm beach for a week, so we were obviously outnumbered in determining this year's spring break plans. If I'm paying for it, I chose where we go. Asshole.

8 days trapped with Maimeó in her countryside cottage, listening to the same old stories, forced into silence at dinner while the Six One News played in the background, constantly surrounded by people we barely knew but who loved to talk about when we were small, all punctuated with screaming matches between my parents and the babies losing their minds. I wanted to see my friends. I wanted to sleep alone and in my own bed. I wanted to eat something that wasn't mashed. I loved my grandma, but I'd love her more if she came to visit us instead This house had become Hell.

I threw on my jacket and a pair of boots before heading outside. We had planned to go to Barley Cove, the closest compromise to a warm beach dad would allow for, but the drizzling rain had other plans for us. I sat in the garden and turned my face to the dreary sky, eyes closed against the misty water that fell from it. It was quiet. Blissfully so.

I thought about home, and it was no different than Maimeó's cottage. If I could make it two more years, then I'd be just a summer away from college. From freedom. From peace.

The bench creaked beside me and I looked over to find my little sister, tears streaking her cheeks, arms bare to the rain. I took off my jacket and draped it across her shoulders before pulling her into my side.

We didn't say anything because there was nothing new to say. She'd been my sidekick since I was four years old and so damn excited to be a big brother. Since the day she was born, I've loved her more than anyone else, more than myself. Yet here we were, another day where I couldn't do anything to protect her, but she silently asked me to do it regardless.

The rain turned from a drizzle to a downpour, our cue to return to the cottage. I stood and reached for her hand, but she tucked her fingers against her sides and looked away, a sad scowl on her face. "I'm not going back in. Not until they stop fighting."

"We can't stay out here, Rey. You're going to get sick." I reached for her again, waiting with my hands out. She finally wrapped her tiny hands around mine and stood, immediately tucking herself back against my side as we walked toward the cottage.

I flinched as we got closer to the cottage and heard the first hateful words come echoing through the door. They weren't just fighting this time. It was something bigger, something serious. Ma was screaming in Spanish, saying a lot of things I couldn't fully understand, but she didn't throw around words like hate and regret and disgust when she was in a good mood. I rushed Rey upstairs to the bedroom we'd been sharing before she had to listen to more. If the heavy tears welling in her eyes again were any indication, she understood a lot more than I had.

I sat on the floor, my back against the door, and watched my sister drop face first onto the bed. She curled into my jacket, her back shaking from silent sobs. This had been our lives for the last 3 years, and every day it broke my heart more.

When we were at home, I could ignore what was going on. I could hide in the basement, my sanctuary since the babies took my old room, and drown out the rest of the world. Rey could go to the loft, high above the screaming and chaos of the mortal coil below her. But here, where the old bones of the house creaked with every whisper of wind, where sounds echoed loud and clear like the tolling of a church bell, where the peaceful landscape threatened to drown any who stepped outside... there was no escape here.

Eventually, everything stopped. The rain, Rey's tears, the screaming downstairs. Rey had joined me on the floor, sitting sideways across my lap with her forehead against my shoulder. I ran a hand across her hair, trying to avoid getting my fingers caught in the wild curls tangled from a week in the soggy countryside.

She looked up at me with those brown eyes I'd give anything to see carry the hint of a smile, "Can we stay with Maimeó when they go back? I don't want to go home."

I shook my head and rested my chin on her crown of curls, "No, princessa, we can't stay with Maimeó."

"But you don't want to go home, either. Why can't we stay?" She wrapped her arms around me tighter, squeezing my already aching chest.

"Because I don't just have you to watch out for, I have Oran and Isabel, too."

"I wish they didn't have them."

As much as her words hurt, I knew what she meant. In a way, I almost felt the same. Rey and I had gotten a handful of good years, of parents who loved each other, who loved us. We had happy memories to retreat into when the world around us was too cruel. We had each other. But the twins were born into a broken marriage and a hate-filled home. They'd never know anything else. It was the furthest thing from fair.

The sudden pounding on the door had me flinching, bringing Rey closer to my chest and curling over her. She sucked in a sharp inhale, her voice wavering with the beginnings of more tears.

"¡Nos vamos a casa ya! "

Ma stormed off down the hall, her heels slamming against the floor sending jolts through me before her words sank in. We're leaving? Now? Like right now?

"You heard her, we gotta go. Come on-"

"No!" she broke into sobs and crawled out of my arms, throwing herself back onto the bed. "I'm not going! I hate them!"

I didn't have the energy to fight with her. Even if I had, I didn't want to anyway. I got up and opened the door, glancing out into the hall. It was finally quiet, but this silence felt dangerous. I grabbed the bag I had never unpacked and my phone from the nightstand, standing beside the bed once I had my things. "I'm not staying here. Please come with me. I'll ask Harper's mom if you can stay over for a couple days once we're home, okay?"

I thought she was going to start yelling at me again, but then she nodded her head. She climbed off the bed and started shoving her clothes into her bag. "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me, princessa. I'll be fine." I forced a smile and ruffled her hair before heading out into the hall. She was on my heels a minute later.

Rey and I waited in the front yard by a small stack of luggage. She was still sniffling, but she wasn't letting herself cry. Not yet. Not when she'd be in front of Ma soon. After a few minutes, Ma came out carrying the twins and took them straight to the rental van, buckling them into the car seats in the second row. Rey climbed between them, dropping into the third row with a huff, while I packed the back hatch with our luggage. I looked back at the cottage to see Maimeó's sad smile in the doorway, to see her hand raised and waiving us off. But where was dad?

"Vamanos, hijo," Ma called from the driver's seat after getting Oran settled behind her, the words clipped short. I climbed into the passenger seat and waived back at Maimeó as we drove off.

nos vamos a casa ya : we are going home now

vamanos, hijo : let's go, son