Hawk

I’ve been going through the worst period of my life… and I can’t take it anymore. The lies, the pain, the suffering, the hunger...the feeling of being so broke that I can’t even provide for my own children.

It’s all my fault.

I spent so much time thinking about myself, basking in the glory of those around me instead of picking myself up off the ground. I look in the mirror every single day, wishing that it would all end.

Everything negative that I’ve ever said, every horrible thing that I’ve ever done eats away at my soul every day...every hour...every minute…every second.

My children deserve so much better than me.

My family deserves better than me.

My friends deserve better than me.

I don’t deserve a single happy thing that I have in my life because I’ve managed to ruin everything.

Now, here I am, about to be evicted...again.

Broke again.

Broken again.

I have cried so much that I have no tears left in my body. I can’t cry anymore, I just scream. Screaming and praying that I can wake up from this nightmare and just be okay.

It never is.

I’ve suffered enough, and I’ve caused enough suffering.

No one understands my guilt and distress. Maybe someday someone will.

I am leaving this Earth, and I’ll finally be at peace.

Finally….