Chapter 1
“Where am I? What is this place? My head... it hurts, it hurts.”
Endless darkness surrounds Alex, covering his entire field of vision. Suddenly, a gentle voice asks him, “What is your name?”
He responds, “My name? I don’t remember it.”
The light asks again, “Did your previous life have any regrets?”
He replies, “I am not sure.”
The light continues, “Do you remember anything good from your past life?”
He says, “I don’t know.”
The light replies, “A strange case indeed. Tell me, what do you desire, Alex? Reincarnation or rebirth?”
Alex tries to ask what those are but is suddenly struck by extreme pain, babbling, “It hurts, it hur...ts.”
The light explains that he is a gatekeeper serving under absolute gods, offering him two choices: reincarnation or rebirth, with the promise of granting any desire, be it power, love, or even a servant.
Alex responds, “Why are you doing this? It’s wrong, isn’t it?”
The light replies, “Yes, it is wrong. But don’t get me wrong, my only purpose is to guide dead souls.”
Alex realizes he is dead and falls unconscious as his memories become clearer.
“My father left me when I was 10. My mother tried to feed us by selling her body. I had a sister too. At that time, I didn’t understand much about my mother’s work, but this is what I remember.
When I turned 12, all my friends talked about their fathers. They asked me too, and I was curious about how my father looked. I asked my mother repeatedly until she finally agreed to let me meet him.
It was around my birthday. For me, meeting my father was the best birthday gift. My mother baked a cake and decorated the dining room. We waited for my father so we could finally eat the cake.
Someone knocked on the door. My mother went to open it, and I was so excited, knowing it was my father. She opened the door and said, ‘Welcome back.’
We were all happy, but my father pulled out a knife and stabbed my mother. She died on the spot, her last words being, ‘Sorry for everything, Alex. My... chi...child, run and ta...take your sister with you and protect her.’
I couldn’t grasp the situation. My father reached my sister. She tried to escape, but I stood there watching as he killed her. Blood was everywhere, and the white moon had turned crimson. My father stabbed my sister repeatedly, saying, ‘Demons like you don’t belong here. You all should die. You all belong to hell.’
He looked at me with a face like a folklore demon. I can still hear the screams of my mother and sister, asking me to save them. I was paralyzed and lost consciousness.
When I woke up, I was in a hospital. A nurse sat next to me, shouting for the doctor when she saw me awake. Several people tried to talk to me, but my voice wouldn’t come out. The doctors said I was fine, but I had lost my ability to speak due to the trauma.
I was sent to a mental asylum. Every day felt like an endless cycle of coldness, blood-filled dreams, and my sister and mother asking me, ‘Why didn’t you save us?’ and ‘Big brother, save me.’ They would try to pull me into their blood. I shouted for help, but no one came.
After that day, I never laughed, felt pain, or any emotion. I joined high school at 16 but couldn’t make friends. My mother and sister always stood beside me, telling me not to talk to anyone. I spent my years alone, trying to escape, but they wouldn’t let me.
Whenever I looked in the mirror, they were there behind me. People called me a creep because I was always alone. The police couldn’t find any proof against my father, and the case was closed. I was bullied, ignored the stones and insults thrown at me.
One day, I got a ticket to an idol show. I didn’t want to go but wanted to understand normal life. Everyone at the show was enjoying it, but I couldn’t. After the show, I lined up for autographs. Someone pushed me out of the line, and my hand got injured. Some men carried me to a van to treat me, but the idol whose van it was kicked me out. However, she saw my hand and insisted on treating it.
I wanted to leave, but she wouldn’t let me. I finally told her to leave me alone. She asked why I was so insistent on leaving. I replied, ‘I hate people like you, always pretending to care. Everyone wears a mask for family, society, and other reasons.’
She replied, ‘Yes, we wear masks, but it’s better than not being true to yourself.’ Her words changed my attitude. She offered to show me the true essence of living. I wanted to believe her and accepted.
We started going out secretly. Those times felt true. I cried, laughed, cooked, and went out with her. I felt like I had a purpose. Her name was Sakura.
One rainy evening, I got a message from my father, asking me to come to a location. I rushed there. The street was dimly lit. I found Sakura there, severely injured. I tried to stop her bleeding, but she died in my arms, her last words being, ‘Please don’t hate me.’
I was crying, unable to see clearly. I got stabbed in the back. I turned but couldn’t see my attacker. One of them was clearly my father. I fell to the ground, hearing only the rain. Then, I heard an ultrasonic sound, and my father’s voice disappeared.
And here I am now.”
The light speaks to Alex, telling him about the gods who toy with humans. It says, “If you choose reincarnation, you will meet someone.”
Alex asks, “Why are you telling me all this?”
But the light doesn’t give a true answer. Alex falls unconscious again.
