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Harry Potter and the Time Warp

"I am a great fan of the time travel genre of the Harry Potter fanfics and I have enjoyed some of the twists that you have added to make your story unique. This latest chapter, thirty, was very thrilling and suspenseful, but I felt some of the plot could be strengthened with a little more exposition. Having Barty Crouch under observation and he was still able to influence the events inside the maze with no one noticing? I might expect a comment that those 'in the know' noticed his actions but allowed them because of the plan? Harry uses a highly magically exhausting spell when he knows he is soon expected to encounter Voldemort and his death eaters in the graveyard? Everyone is watching Barty Crouch but they ALL look away and lose sight of him? Neither Sirius not Remus used any spells that would have disabled Severus except for the disarming charm. It seemed sloppy when I read it, but a comment that they didn't trust themselves to not kill their school nemesis with a lethal spell could explain that. The paragraphs where the others walk in on the prisoners in the chairs was a little stilted with the repeat of Madam Pomfrey and Rosalie treating Crouch. As a suggestion, I offer: Cornelius stopped short and stood there in shock when he noticed two people, Barty Crouch Jr and Severus Snape, bound to chairs. Flitwick, Vector, Pince, McGonagall, Sirius and Hermione were guarding the bound Death Eaters. Both of them were unconscious as Madam Pomfrey and Rosalie cooperated in tending Crouch Jr’s abdominal injury. His facial injuries were minor enough that they would heal in time, but the wound to his stomach was a little more serious and had to be treated immediately. Behind the Minister, Remus led the rest of the crowd that he had guided from the entrance hall to the Champions' Chamber where the prisoners were. Dumbledore, Amelia, Mr. and Mrs. Delacour, Mr. Diggory, Karkaroff and Maxime all walked inside the chamber only to be surprised to see something none expected. Meanwhile, Amelia was thrown off for a moment when she saw Snape bound to a chair along with Crouch Jr, but she accepted that she would soon discover the reason why. However, Karkaroff was the most expressive of all. He was ashen. As if he has seen a ghost, his gaze was locked on Crouch Jr. Again, the above paragraphs are just a suggestion. The rest of the chapter was well done in my opinion. The plot was good, but as I have pointed out, a few areas could be strengthened. Also, you were using Mister for Mister Delacour but contracting Missus to Mrs. for his wife. While there is nothing wrong with this, it felt inconsistent in style to me. To finish up, I really enjoy this story and I look forward to you continuing this. My critiques are intended to be constructive and to hopefully allow you to see things from another perspective. Thank you again for sharing your work with us, your readers"

=)

"I love this story, I came across it on fanfiction.net, a little sad that you stopped posting it on there but I opened an account oh here just to keep up with it so I hope I see an update soon"

Good Story

"Hi, started reading this on fan fiction and followed you here. Interesting story, want faster updates please!! can't wait for the animagus transformations and I want to see how the characters develop."

Good story

"Why did you write 2 "origin stories" for Rita? In one she started out as a reporter who had ethics, then suddenly she had lost all kind of ethics years before she even started writing."

amazing

"please update it. i want to know what happens next"

It's a very good book...❣ (sorry for my english, I'm french...😅)

"This book is just genial, I improve in English thanks to him!😘❤"

Great story

"This story is very good. It is very riveting. Please update soon. You can't leave this story off in that manner. "

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Unbetaed chapters!!!

"You really need a beta. You can find them on fanfiction!!! Overall the plot is well thought out but you need someone to read your chapters before you publish them!!!"