Alice's Choice

It was a bright and sunny day, but Lara could only enjoy it through the window of the hospital waiting room. She stretched her small body upward as much as she could, to try to peak at people walking through the green courtyard below. Her legs were dangling off the plastic, grey chair, not quite reaching the ground, and she was getting bored. She looked around the busy hospital waiting room and the people waiting there with her. A man reading a magazine, an old lady who gave Lara a kind smile and a mother and a young girl, playing with the wooden toy in the middle of the room. Lara wanted to play too, but her mum told her to sit and wait. So she waited.

The hospital smelled funny and the man with the magazine coughed occasionally, making her frown. She had been waiting a long time, and she didn’t like being surrounded by strangers. She missed Chris and her mum. Despite her mum’s strictest orders, she slid off the seat and her feet touched the ground. She shivered at the solid feel of rebellion. The older lady eyed her curiously, but Lara quickly looked away, worried the woman would stop her. She tried not to let her nervousness show and look like she was supposed to go somewhere important. She kept her head high as she walked down the corridor. Now that she was out of the eye of the old lady, she peeked left and right into the rooms, trying to catch a glimpse of her mum and her brother.

Doctors and nurses flew in and out of rooms, each one of them looking serious and busy, so Lara tried not to get in their way. Eventually, she ran out of the corridor and spotted the double doors leading downstairs. Thinking that they might have gone there, she pushed the door open with both hands and stepped into the landing. She was halfway down the stairs when her mum’s shrill voice came from above.

“Lara? Lara! Are you there?” it was so loud it bounced off the walls. Lara smiled brightly, Mum was upstairs all along.

“Mum!” she called back.

“Lara?” her mum asked uncertainly, then loud footsteps echoed down the corridor and Lara’s mum appeared before her, a face like thunder. Lara’s smile dropped.

“Where the hell have you been? I told you to wait for me!” Lara’s mum grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards her. “How many times have I told you not to wander off?”

“I was bored and lonely,” Lara stammered.

“You cannot be so selfish” Lara’s mum snapped. “Your brother is sick, how can I possibly take care of him when I have to worry about you all the time?” she shouted, and Lara felt tears welling up in her eyes. Chris was covering behind her, peaking at Lara through Mum’s legs. Lara’s mum paused at the sight of her tears, and she sighed deeply.

“Just come with me, let’s go home,” she said, tugging on her arm and turning around.

Despite the yelling, she looked sad to Lara. Her eyes which used to shine so brightly were dark lately, and she barely ever smiled. Chris stepped in line next to Lara and his small hand wrapped around hers, squeezing gently. Lara looked at him, saw fear in his eyes, and instantly felt guilt for making him worry. She squeezed back and pulled out her tongue, making him grin, his pink cheeks blushing happily.

When they got home, Lara’s mum instantly went to work, leaving the two alone. As usual, Lara got things out of the fridge and made herself and Chris a peanut butter sandwich. He ate happily and smiled, and she was relieved to see him calm and happy again. He had a bad fever over the night and barely slept, so they rushed to the hospital first thing in the morning. Mum wasn’t happy about bringing Lara with her, but she said she couldn’t leave her at home alone, so they all went.

They tidied up and went to bed, Lara curling up next to Chris, worried that her mum was angry with her. She had been in a bad mood lately, Lara was clearly doing things that made her upset so she tried her best to take care of Chris and not get in the way. Still, she managed to make mum angry again today.

The sound of voices woke Lara from her sleep, her mum must have been back. She blinked, groggy, and looked at Chris sleeping next to her, his mouth open and a little dribble of saliva flowing down his cheek. He seemed fine now, so Lara climbed out of bed. She wanted to apologise to her mum and make sure she wasn’t angry with her anymore. She stepped into the corridor, where her mum’s voice was louder now. As she got closer to the kitchen, Mum’s words made Lara stop in her tracks.

“You have to take at least one of them, Charles,” she said angrily. It was their dad’s name, Lara hadn’t seen him for some time, since he left after a big fight with mum. She sensed that it was a bad idea to interrupt. A nervous chill started growing in her stomach and she pushed herself against the wall, out of eyesight, listening.

“No, no! They are your kids too, Charles, you can’t just dump me with all the responsibility. I can’t have them, I just can’t!”

There was a pause while Lara’s dad answered, and her mum sobbed quietly. Lara’s heart was in her throat. Did her mum not want them anymore, was it because she didn’t listen?

“It's not about the money!” her mother yelled. “Chris is sick and Lara… Just take one of them, Charles, please, I can't do this by myself anymore.”

Lara stood in the corridor, her small body trembling. Mum wanted to give one of them away, she wanted to split them up. After a moment of panic, her heart beating frantically in her chest, Lara went cold. She had been bad, not listening and getting into trouble, mum was going to send her away and split her and Chris apart. Shivering wildly, she crept back to the bedroom, trying not to let her mum hear her. She looked at Chris still sleeping peacefully and climbed into bed next to him. Her hand trembled as she squeezed his and sniffed back the tears that welled in her eyes. She never wanted to be apart.