What is your opinion?
Love it
"Its nice i love it"
Needs a lot of work.
"When I started reading this, I became rather quickly confused since you started with the timeline of "20 years ago" with your "20 year old protagonist" instead of just going with the protagonist first. This is just a minor issue for myself personally - the biggest problem that holds you back is your grammar. There are a lot of grammatical errors in the story, and I genuinely want to help you since you often leave out speech quotations - " " - to further dive into this, often you write your paragraphs describing your characters actions and then jump straight into them talking without the speech quotations which can be very confusing to the readers, but I do assume this is grammar errors. There are many other grammar errors in the general sentence structure and I do feel that you should come back to look at your work in a week's time to see it with a fresh pair of eyes to see and correct them. Your overall plot seems interesting and has good potential, I have read up to the first 4 chapters, I look forward to coming back to see how you improve in the future. Keep writing!"
