Eulogy
Every morning I wake up and tell myself this: It’s just one day, one twenty-four-hour period to get yourself through. Today took more than that to get out bed. Today I was getting out of bed for her. Putting on all black at 7 in the morning to prepare for people who “miss her” was a struggle, to know people who didn’t really care for her were going to be there upset me, but who wouldn’t be upset about that. My hands shook while putting my car in park. I could feel the lump in my throat grow with each step I walked. People in all black filled the seats and some even left standing, her photo was displayed under her light up sign that read her nick name ‘Parks’, under which was her full name, Parker Matthews, and of course the two dates. April 26th, 2000 – Jan 28th, 2019.
I stood up to give the eulogy. I looked around the room at everyone, her dad, Mr. Matthews, was sitting right in front of me. His eyes held pain that I could only partially understand. I didn’t know where to start. The words I wrote wouldn’t give her father the justice he deserved. It wouldn’t give Parker what she deserved either. I wanted everyone here to remember her for how beautiful and full of life she was, not when she was struggling to live.
“Thank you all for being here today” I started with. It already felt terrible. “Parker would have loved to be here” I tried not to smile while thinking of the way she would laugh at the people crying over her.
“I mean that literally” I tried explaining without sounding like a jack ass “she would love to be at her own funeral to see all the people who loved her... When I first met Parker, we were only fourteen. I had just moved into her class, and she helped me catch up in math. Eventually I started taking advantage of it even when I understood everything. I just wanted any moment of time I could get with her. I feel as if most felt that way. You could never really get enough of Parks. I hung out with her every day of the week except for Wednesdays, and I would suffer until I’d get a text from her. I was so excited to see her all the time.” As I told her story our memories began to flood my mind.
…
Looking out the window of the moving truck, I drove by tall buildings and houses until I pulled up to mine, a suburban surrounded house, with no colors standing out beside our neighbor’s flowers which had overgrown falling into our yard slightly. I was excited but not as much as my parents, they had already met our neighbors, the Matthews family. My mom told me some things about them, and I imagined a perfect family, a great dad who missed his wife. A daughter came home and helped her brother with her homework. I was ready to make friends with them.
The sun glared into my eyes causing me to squint everywhere I looked while helping my family grab boxes down from the truck. Although I was a freshman, I was still stronger than my mom so me and my dad did most of the work. My sister wasn’t much help, she was a few years younger than me and just got a tablet. As my dad passed me boxes my mom called my name.
“Jackson Reid!”. Oh, shit I thought, what did I do this time? “Come meet our neighbors” my mom finished.
With a sigh of relief, I turned towards the house with the overgrown flowers. An older man who looked similar in age to my parents sat on an old wicker chair on his porch. He had gloves on and a pot with greenery in it. As I walked closer to the chatting adults Mr. Matthews’ front door opened. There stood a girl, I think her name is Parker. She stood about 5’2 maybe 5’3. She had a curling wand in her hair and was wearing pajamas. When we made eye contact, she slammed the door shut.
“I don’t think she realized you guys got here yet” Mr. Matthews giggled as he spoke, He seemed to be nice. Not the grumpy old man to yell at me to get off his lawn. I was thankful for that.
“You know we have a tree house for studying” Matthews said sipping his lightly colored drink. “I built it for Parker and her brother, but she never uses it, maybe you can clean that dust up. It can be our mancave” He winked at me.
My mom gave me a smile and said, “Honey how about you finish up your break and help your dad.”
Once we got all the boxes inside and organized by room, I settled in my room waiting for our food delivery to get here. My room was on the second floor, Closer to the side of the house so I had two windows. I wasn’t a huge fan of it at first. As I looked out my windows, I saw one overlooking our back yard and one faced the Matthews house. I could see the tree house he talked about. It didn’t look dirty or old. It almost looked like one of the little shed houses you can buy for cheap. It didn’t look cheap though. I was excited to turn it into my new hangout. I already imagined setting up my consoles and adding big bean bags.
“Hey mom! I’m going to the tree house” I yelled while grabbing an old plastic bag, some wipes and a broom. I hope she heard my yell.
There was a small light turned on in the tree house which I assumed was automatic since it was already dark. I think it was a bit passed eight. The steps of the house were glossed with paint which reassured me about splinters. When I reached the top, the hatch was opened, and quiet music played.
“Dad?” A girl’s voice called out
“Uh” I assumed it was Parker up there “No Parker uh it’s your neighbor”
When I climbed up, I was met with a warm smile. Parker’s hair was curled lightly. The dim light caused her light brown hair to look a lot darker. She wore a yellow dress with pink flowers, my sister had a similar one.
“You’re Jack right...?” She said calmly but quickly corrected herself “Jackson, sorry You’re Jackson, right?”.
“Yeah, you can call me Jack if you want. Only teachers really call me Jackson.”
“Oh okay!” She said with a smile “I’m sorry about earlier… I wanted to make a good impression. I didn’t think you’d be here yet. I guess I made myself look worse” Parker said with an awkward laugh.
I gave an awkward laugh back. “I thought your dad said you never come up here?” I questioned trying not to sound too rude. I didn’t want a girl in my new hang out spot.
“I do. He’s normally at work or asleep when I do. It’s easier to tell him I don’t come up here than hear him criticize when I do” she said while flipping open a notebook labeled in marker. It was purple with the label ‘MATH’.
“Ah” I said. I felt awkward at that moment, I wasn’t sure what to say really. So, I lied. “I’m not very good at math” I laughed slightly “But I don’t really try”. I wanted to be the cool kid here.
Parkers eyes looked up with a surprised look. “My dad told me you got good grades. He said you’d be my new competition”. She looked almost disappointed from my lie. I wanted to impress her, but I think I made it worse.
“I’m good with English though... and most other subjects.” I tried to recover myself
After talking for a bit, I went home to see our dinner had gotten to our new home. It was sitting on a plastic tub that contained some decorations for our dining room. My dad raised an eyebrow at me, I’m guessing he was wondering where I had been. I didn’t say anything, knowing what my dad’s response would be.
…
I quickly became good friends with her. Best of friends. I got to know her dad and her, but never her mom and brother. I understood it was a topic I shouldn’t bring up, so I never did, but I knew after talking to Parker, I’d love living here.
