Project Onyx

“Can I get a rum and coke,” I ask the bartender.

“Yeah, you bet.”

 “Wait,” I say stopping him. “Actually, just bring two shots of vodka, your choice, and a beer.”

He nods, chuckling to himself and walking off. Probably thinking I look like shit. I feel like it.

I should go home but I don’t want to deal with my roommate and her slew of sorority friends. It’s rush week next week and they are getting things ready at our place. I don’t get why they don’t live in a house together. It would make things like this easier, and they wouldn’t have to annoy their roommates that have actual jobs and attend classes that don’t consist of humanitarian studies.

Really, what I don’t get is why sororities exist at ivy league schools in the first place. Aren’t we supposed to be highly intelligent and overly mature? So why is it we still have pageant club for the daddy’s money crowd? I thought things would be different going to Harvard after high school, but we are all still in Ms. Copelands homeroom, only the stakes are higher. Tuition is too high and the future too grim to be wasting time with social clubs.

It’s not like I want them to live like I do. Going from class to work, home to sleep then back to class again in the morning.

I’d just think they’d want to get more out of their education aside from saying they attended Harvard. Yes, Indie, have everyone be miserable like you, the nagging voice in my head says.

I’m not miserable… normally. I’m determined. I only have a few years left, and I’m out of school for good. I can focus on my career.

I currently have a job at the biggest Tech company in the world. HiMax. I love it there. I’ve been given creative freedom to work on my own project before I ever have the academic credentials to do so. I shouldn’t be unhappy about it but then I have days like this, when the entire experience is shitty.

The bartender comes back with my shots and beer. I knocked back the two shots that burn going down. It’s a great distraction from the disgust I feel. Then the beer. Since I didn’t tell the bartender what type he’s handed me some IPA I’ve never heard of that tastes like it has candied cherries inside. I hate cherries, they are the most disgusting fruit.

I put it down, scowling at the brown neck, turning it to the side to see that is in fact the name of the flavor, bitter candied cherry. Who does that? Beer is supposed to be beer, it’s simple. You don’t have to add fruit to everything, it’s bad enough for people do it to desserts.

“You don’t like it” asks the bartender when he notices my face.

“No, it’s too sweet. Can I get whatever you would have given me if you assumed I had a penis.”

He laughs loudly walking over to the fridge, taking his time to pick this time. When he comes back, he hands me an amber bottle, waiting by the bar for me to try.

I put the cool bottle to my lips, letting the liquid poor down. Its potent, amber goodness, like a good IPA is supposed to be.

“So much better.”

He nods, giving me an appreciative wink before walking away, as another patron calls for him to replenish his tap beer.

After a few good sips of beer, I take my tablet, and notepad out from my backpack and get go it.

I still have work to do. I’d left the lab much earlier than I’d wanted to. It’s late, already heading towards midnight. I’m usually in the lab well past that, functioning on caffeine and adrenaline to get me through classes. I’m not much of a sleeper. Taking naps here and there so I don’t completely stall out. I can rest when the project is done, which hopefully will be sooner rather than later. 

“What can I get for you” asks bartender walking over to my section.

His voice brings me out of my intense notation. I look up from my tablet to see that he isn’t looking at me but beside me. I hadn’t noticed someone standing next to me.

“Can I get a menu,” comes a voice from much too close to me.

“Sure thing” replies the bartender.

 He walks to the other side of the bar coming back to our section, to hand it to him. The man takes it from him, taking the seat next to me. I look down at the bar seeing rows of empty seats. It’s a Tuesday night, a slow night, there are plenty of seats at tables and even more at the actual bar. No need to sit directly beside me.

“Looking for someone” he asks.

 “Nope, just wondering why my personal space is being invaded” I state, going back to my tablet.

The man chuckles or scoffs I don’t look to see. Either way it’s a distraction that I do not need.

“Know what you want” asks the bartender coming by again.

“Yeah, I’ll have the Ancient Nebula, and new balls. This one’s already busted mine.”

I can feel him lean over, seeing him tilt in my direction through my peripheral.

“Good choice on both” laughs the bartender, leaving me scowling after him.

I didn’t bust anyone's balls, I only let it be known that he’s in my bubble.

Ok, maybe I was a little rude but calling me out on it publicly must be against whatever bullshit social etiquette we should be following.

“I’m not joking at all, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have kids now” he says, leaning closer to me. I backed away, turning to look at him.

“Maybe that would be a good thing. People who don’t follow social norms shouldn’t breed”

It’s bullshit, it would be a tragedy if he didn’t. He’s gorgeous. He’s got a classic look to him. I can tell he’s well groomed, from the two-hundred-dollar haircut and well-trimmed beard. His dark blue eyes contrast perfectly with his dark auburn hair which is extremely thick. His body is also well maintained.

Not an “I go to the gym” kind of body but the kind that shows he’s been an athlete his entire life. What kind? Hell, if I know but I can tell he is one.

 Then again, he does have a beard that’s shaping his face. It could be hiding a giant chin, or weirdly shaped cheeks. More than likely not. I just want that to be the case and not that this beautiful man who is probably used to women falling on their knees for him to look in their direction.

No wonder he’s in my space. He’s your run of the mill good looking entitled asshole. Too used to getting what he wants by throwing a smile in one direction and having money and adoration thrown back at him instead of working for anything. The same thing people assume I do. Not knowing how much blood and sweat I put into my career.

“Social norms like doing homework at a bar?”

The man, and I do mean man, points at my tablet. Brushing off my insult, as if it were an insect sitting on the shoulder of his overpriced T shirt. I glared at him, turning in my seat to go back to my tablet.

Adonis laughs, only stopping when the bartender comes back with a wood board, with blackberries and mint adorned on the outside of a glass, filled with dark liquid, with another glass over top, that has smoke smothering it. I find myself smirking at it. The drink looks just as pompous as he comes off as. Of course, it’s something he’d order. God, forbid he drink beer like other humans.

“What’s the smirk for” he asks, taking the large glass off.

 “I’m thinking how fitting your hipsteresque drink is. It’s something simple and classic that’s been over dressed and jazzed up to be more than it is, but you already know that.”

The man spins in his chair, snorting, actually snorting at me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone snort outside of movies before. The sound makes me laugh, like really, full bellied until I’m red in the face laugh. I can’t believe I just heard someone snort.

“Wow, that’s funny to you? Here I thought I would have to beg on my knees to see you smile. Next time tell people that all they need is to embarrass themselves to make you laugh. Save them some time and effort.”

He has one of the sincerest smiles I’ve ever seen before. It’s the kind you get when the first snow touches your face, when it’s pitch-black outside and you’re pretending you’re dancing with fairies. It’s whimsical, I like it. That’s a problem. Liking things about people or liking people is a distraction, one I don’t need. 

“I smile when I find things funny. Not at some strange man at a bar to make him feel comfortable,” I say, my walls back to their full height.

He seems like the type you must use steel to keep out, too used to getting what he wants so he’s persistent. Too bad for him, I’m the best at keeping people I want nowhere near me away. An expert introvert.

“Oh no, I got that from you being very deep into your homework. It’s late, it would be rude of me to continue letting someone do class work this late. There are studies about that kind of thing. Working too hard, not having enough fun and what not. I don’t know any of them, but you get the gist,”

He picks up the drink, that’s now finished smoking, bringing it to his lips, sipping on it. He raises his eyebrows then sips it again, closing his eyes like he’s savoring the finest vintage wine.

“Mhm you can really taste the flannel and random yet ironic record player in this. They should change it to the Seattle for sure.”

I find myself laughing again, cursing myself for it. God damn him for having a palatable sense of humor. He sees the conflict in my face, savoring it like he had the drink.

“I’ve now gotten two smiles, that’s gotta be a record for you. Your face is too smooth to have ever smiles twice in one sitting. I get an award for that right?”

The smile fades from my face just like that. Of course, he’s going to proposition me.

“Wait, no, it’s not like that. I mean I would love to take you home but I’m guessing I have better chances of playing guitar with Kurt Cobain than that happening. How about something on the keep your clothes on side, like your name.”

“You know how to play guitar” I answer instead.

“Ha” he chuckles. “No, not at all. I did say my chances were low.”

I can’t stop smiling. I hate him and I only just met him. I want too anyway. He is the exact type of guy I hate. Good looking, successful, charming, and has a way too easy time getting into copious amounts of girls’ underwear. He’d be the perfect match for my roommate.

“So how about your name” he continues. “I’m Killian.”

 “Emma” I reply. He laughs, picking up his drink again.

 “What? Is my name not good enough for you. Let me guess you were expecting something like Saphire or Ivy. Something on the call girl list. Sorry to disappoint”

This time I’m the one to pick up my drink, taking a long drink of it. When I put it down, he grabs it, gulping it down himself.

“Why are you drinking my drink. That’s disgusting, I could have a communicable disease.”

He laughs again sitting the drink down. “I can tell by you calling an STD a communicable disease and the fact that you hate human connection that you’re clean. I just wanted to taste this to see if there is cocaine in it”

“You know what cocaine tastes like?”

“I do. Freshman year was wild for me, no coke.”

“Why would there be coke in my drink.”

“Just curious if it was the drink making you lie to me about your name or you think I’m that gullible.”

Dammit I'm laughing again!

I’ve lied to a lot of guys about my name, by a lot, I mean each one that didn’t already know it and tried to get close. I’m not too keen on giving strangers information about myself. Especially when I’m sitting alone in a bar.

“This is actually really good” he said downing more of my beer.

“I’m not mad about it. I get why you’d feel the need to lie about your name to creepy guys at bars. I’m not one of them.” 

I nod looking down at my beer in his hand. “Kill is literally in your name, making you a red flag from birth. Plus, you’re a thief.” That doesn’t hurt him at all he picks up my beer like it’s a prize, then drinks more of it.

“I’m a thief and you’re a liar which brings me to my next question… would you like to rob a bank with me” Killian pierces his lips narrowing his eyes at me.

“You’re serious” I ask raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, why not” he shrugs “or you could tell me your name, that might be easier an a little less illegal.”

“It doesn’t seem like you care about legalities with your cocaine usage.”

Killian turns and puts his hand up waving over the bartender “Hey can I get those balls I ordered? Also, another round for anonymous.”

This time I fight myself with all my might not to smile, actually biting my lip not to but my body is betraying me. This is the most I’ve been entertained in well, ever.

Killian stares waiting for me to say something, his head cocked cutely to the side. The smile on his face causing butterflies that I want to stab to dance in my stomach. Maybe they are butterflies or maybe I’m ill. I’m going to tell myself it’s the latter.

I’m not one of those girls that goes cross eyed when she sees a handsome man with an even better smile, not usually anyway. If that’s true, then why can’t I take my eyes off him. Why does his brash sense of humor pull smiles from me? Doesn’t matter. I should put an end to it now.

“Ok see, I have broken the record for sure now. Tell me your name so I can stop embarrassing myself in a practically empty bar and let me ask you out, properly.”

“Look, Killian, you seem like a very nice swimsuit model.”

“Swimsuit model huh? Does that mean you’re into me” he asks.

I stop myself mid-sentence, catching myself grin like an idiot. His smile is now making my internal organs do summersaults. I visibly shake it off, garnering a chuckle from him then continue with my no. 

“…or whatever your chosen modeling profession is but people like you and I don’t date.”

“I don’t you think you know how to date so what makes you think I’m not your type”?

“I’ve dated…”

Killian tilts his head to the side.

“Sort of, that’s not that point. I’m introverted and you’re obviously extraverted. I don’t do the whole accosting people who are obviously busy, inserting myself in their lives. That’s already a major conflict of interest. I’m not the type of girl, guys like you want. The Kinley and Aspin’s with the big boobs and lower IQ’s, who are desperate for a sugar daddy or to end up in a photo on Instagram with this week’s heartthrob. For those reasons I don’t think we’d mesh”

I don’t think I’m into companionship because as he’s put it I don’t really date. I avoid it as much as possible. It holds people back. Especially women in my field. It consumes time that I don’t have and is bound to end. The entire idea of dating is pointless. People should just fill their biological need to fornicate and let those that want to procreate have at it, leaving the rest of us alone.

“Are you done” he asks, nodding along as if I were still talking.

“Are you done bothering me” I ask. He smiles and puts his hand up, making a thumbs down motion.

“It’s quite literally the job of extraverts to break introverts out of their shells, which is another reason you and I would make good partners. Both of us can’t give the evil speech during the heist.” He leans in whispering to me about the heist as if it’s a real thing.

“Dam it” I say laughing again.

“Wow not just a smile but a second laugh, I can die in peace”

Killian puts his hand over his heart relaxing his shoulders as he exhales. Refusing to laugh again, I shut my lips together much harder this time until I calmed down.

“I was sitting with my buddy Alvin, if you can believe his parents really named him that” He turns his head provoking me to do the same.

There is a tall man, in a red shirt across the bar sitting at one of the tables. Alvin puts his hand up to wave awkwardly, Killian doing the same. Then he turns back to me, continuing his story.

“I turn from him mid conversation and see the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, sitting alone at the bar looking upset. My mom would never forgive me if I were to let a lady go home upset so here, I am, trying harder than I ever have to do just that.”

“How did you know I was beautiful if you were only looking at the back of my head.”

“A theory that turned out to be true” he shrugs.

The bartender finally comes back with my beer which I need. Anything to help me wash away whatever weird superpower grip this guy has on me.

“So, tell me, why you are so upset” he asks.

I stare back at him blank faced. He doesn’t know my name, but he thinks I’ll tell him about my life? Yeah, no thank you.

“Come on, I’m the perfect person to talk to about it. You don’t know me; I don’t know you so I can’t go tell anyone.”

“I broke up with my boyfriend” I say straight faced.

He smacks his lips, squinting at me. “So going for a lie I see.”

“Why are you assuming I’m lying. Are you assuming he dumped me.”

“I’m not assuming, I’m stating a fact. You are lying. I have no doubt that if you had a boyfriend, you would be the heartbreaker. I also know if that were true whomever he was would have to be the world’s biggest idiot, which I highly doubt you’d go for that type, or he’d be down on his knees begging for forgiveness. So, how about we skip the part where you lie again You don’t seem like someone who likes their time wasted, and you tell me what happened, to make you end up doing homework in a bar, because I’m not going to stop asking.”

My mouth opens. Is this guy for real? As if reading my mind, he nods yes. Wow. This is not at all how I thought my night would be going. All I asked for was peace and quiet. Which I shouldn’t have asked for, going to a bar but I hate cafés. 

“For your information, it’s not homework, some of us have jobs outside of smiling for the camera.” As if on cue he gives me an award-winning smile proving my point.

“See, you are into me,” he smiles.

“Do you want to hear about my day or not” I state.

“Sorry!”

He puts his hands up, in surrender, then puts it out for me to continue. Thanks for the permission.

“I’m a software engineer at a tech company currently working on a really big, very stressful project.”

“Aren’t you a little young to be a software engineer. You can’t be more than 21” That is exactly how old I am. I’m going to brush past how he could guess so accurately.

“There is no age limitation but yes, I’m also a student. I was given the position before my senior year. Anyway, my age isn’t relevant. I work in a small lab with two other main team members.”

“Wow” he interrupts, making an impressed face. “A whole team,”

Not knowing if he’s being facetious or not, I continue with my story, making it very obvious that I’m displeased with his words by rolling my eyes.

“Yes, a small team. Anway we are working on something that can change lives but it’s going to take time, years to complete. I love what I do but sometimes…” I pause to think of the right words. Not wanting to say the wrong thing.

“I have issues that can only be addressed by me working at a completely different lab, but I can’t. All of my data and licenses are owned by the company. If I leave, I leave my work behind. No other company will give me the freedom I have at this one. I’d have to wait until I have my master’s then start a new but, it’s not something that can wait. It’s too important to wait another year and start from scratch.”

Killian nods from side to side, mulling it over. “I hear you, so your boss has a thing for you which is how you got the position, and he comes in making you feel uncomfortable on occasion which makes you want to leave because you don’t reciprocate his feelings.”

I stared back at him dumbfounded. That is exactly what is happening. My boss, who happens to own the company, Lance, gave me the lab and team, not because I deserved it, which I do, but because he likes to sleep with interns. I hadn’t known that, thinking he saw something special in me. A spark, as he called it. Really what he saw was a way to get his dick wet.

I do my best to keep away from him, but he shows up unannounced to the office from time to time. He stands too close, always needing to be right at my side or behind me. He’s constantly flirting with even using my team against me. Suggesting to me that their jobs are in my hands. Which is what he’d done today. I know what he means and as does he. That he would fire them if I ever were to stop his access to me.

He is without a doubt the type of person I hate the most. Someone who I’d idolized let me down. He’s an entitled elitist who is good at hiring the best people in the world to make him mass amounts of money. Lance has no background in neuroscience and a base level knowledge of software development, yet he wants to be kept abreast of my project. More like, he just wants to see the girl he finds attractive that he isn’t interested in.

 “Sometimes I want to give in, so he gets out of his system but I’m afraid once I do, the projects over and I can’t afford to let that happen.” I admit when I come down from the initial shock. I shouldn’t be shocked anymore. Killian has been reading me since he sat down.

“You think sleeping with him would make him back off? I highly doubt that. If anything, it would make him want you more.” he states.

“That’s not really helping”.

Killian shrugs. “You want me to talk a girl I’m interested in, into sleeping with someone else? Not a chance.”

“I tell you what’s bothering me, and your response is don’t do it because it would make you, someone I just met, jealous” I glare at him, in disbelief.

“I’m selfish like that” he shrugs.

“You’re ridiculous”

“Yes, but I’m honest. I mean obviously you shouldn’t sleep with your boss, because he coerced you. Talk about a lawsuit waiting to happen. He sounds like an asshole. You shouldn’t do anything you don’t want especially assholes. Which I can definitely be one but not tonight. I’m taken with you. I find you funny and brilliant.”

“I find you annoying.”

I do but also other things I won’t be telling him.

That makes him laugh which inevitably brings back my smile. The walls I was just trying to reinforce are tumbling like dominos. I want to be mad at him but that annoying cute smile of his gets me. I find his honesty refreshing. Also, his persistence isn’t annoying me like it would if he were anyone else.

“I’ve been called worse” he chuckles. “You’re also insanely beautiful, I mean you must be if I could see that you were from across the room, from behind your back. I’d be crazy not to want to pursue you, regardless of how annoying you find me. You can deny it, I know you like to lie, but I think you’re interested in me, outside of wrongly guessing my profession.”

This is the most serious I’ve seen him since he sat down. He isn’t laughing, his smile is sincere, too sincere. His eyes are ones I’m getting lost in when I can’t. I find myself feeling when I shouldn’t. He’s a stranger, no matter how charming or handsome, he’s still a stranger. He would be a distraction, no matter how much part of me is screaming to be distracted. Just look how much he’s distracting me now. He’s right, I am interested, which is a huge problem.

Turning around in my seat, I turn away from Killian towards the bartender, who is conveniently standing by the teal.

“Can I get my check please”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there” he says only looking up for a second.

“Really? I’m that wrong and you dislike me so much that you’re leaving?”

Yeah, that doesn’t sound like someone who isn’t used to someone saying no to him at all. I’d normally tell the person speaking to me that but it’s not the real reason I’m leaving and for some reason I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

“I’m leaving because I have work to do and… you are distracting.”

That is as far into the truth as I want to be. He grins, in leans in his seat.

“Huh, I’m distracting” he states.

“Yes, very”

That only makes him smile more.

“Very, she says” He’s so ridiculous.

“Very” I quip, not holding my smirk.

While he strokes his own ego, I start packing up my things. The bar is only a short drive from my apartment. I’ll have to finish up for the night there. Lance can see into my lab, and I wouldn’t put it past him to show up tonight. No lab, no bar. Studio headphones to drown out the sorority girls’ laughter it is.

The bartender comes one my check, putting it in front of Killian.

“Oh no, I’m paying for myself” I say reaching out.

The bartender pulls it to himself, keeping his attention on Killian.

“She’s got it. It would be sexist of me” he says, waving the bartender off.

Which is kind of a surprise. I was always going to pay for it myself, but I thought he’d at least offer.

The bartender shakes his head in annoyance at Killian then hands me the bill. I handed my card to him before he could walk away.

“Idiot” he says as he leaves.

“That was very unprofessional of him” I say underneath my breath.

Killian just shrugs, watching as I take two more gulps of my beer.

“What are you waiting for me to finish so you can drink this one as well” I ask.

“No, I’m enjoying the view.” So ridiculous.

Only a minute goes by until the bartender comes back, with the bill for me to sign. I open it, looking at the two inflated beers I’ll be paying for. Like how hard it is to make, bottle, distribute, then sell a beer. It can’t be worth twenty bucks a bottle, that’s insane.

I tip and sign, then get up from my seat. “It was nice meeting you Killian”

It’s the truth. It was nice meeting him. I enjoyed the momentary distraction that won’t ever be happening again.

“Yeah, you too Indie, until next time” he states. I stopped, hearing him say my name.

“What, How-…”

The grin on his face says it all. I look down at the table, at the folder, my bill is in.

“That’s why you didn’t argue with me about paying for my drink. What happened to not being sexist?”

“It would have been, and I am sexist from time to time but finding out your name was more important at the moment,” he smirks. “I’m old, not stupid.”

So, very, ridiculous. I’m laughing yet again as walk away. The smallest part of me already regretting leaving. Which is exactly why I need to go.

“See you soon, Indie,” he calls after me.

I know that won’t happen, but I do have to admit I needed this moment. I’ve been down a lot lately. I can’t remember the last time I smiled or laughed, and it was genuine. Even if I never see him again, I don’t think I will ever forget Killian. Actually, I can’t forget him, he’s much too ridiculous.