Chapter 1
Hugging my Physics and Math books tightly, I hurriedly walked to the classroom. I walked and almost ran to the door, peeking in to see if our Filipino teacher, Mrs. Abellar, was there. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw no trace of her presence.
"Psst, have you heard?"
As soon as I sat down, that was the first thing my friend Amelia asked me. I furrowed my brow and adjusted my seat.
"Why? Did something happen?" I asked, confused and intrigued. She leaned closer and whispered in my ear.
"Eliza and Andres, it looks like they're breaking up. I heard from Emilio that Don Francisco and Doña Valentina have arranged something for Andres." I couldn't respond.
"Oh, why aren't you surprised? Did you already know?" I quickly shook my head and avoided Amelia's gaze.
"Well, their love was never going anywhere. Andres is like the sky, while Eliza is like the earth. What parent would allow their child to be in a relationship with the child of a mere coconut worker?"
I glanced briefly at Amelia. I made her sit properly when I saw Eliza entering the classroom. Her face showed profound sadness, her eyes red as if she had just cried. The usual smile she always wore when she entered the class was nowhere to be seen. It felt like she wasn't the Eliza I knew, the cheerful childhood friend.
"Poor Eliza, she looks like she hasn't slept."
I didn't bother to respond to Amelia's comment. Instead, I gave Eliza a simple smile as she sat beside me.
"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.
I knew she wasn't okay. But even with a simple question, maybe it could ease the pain she felt.
She forced a smile and held my hand.
"Can you accompany me for a while?" I thought for a moment.
I glanced at Amelia, who was now busy chatting with our other classmates.
"Let's go," I said, and we left the classroom. Amelia looked puzzled about where we were going, but I assured her I'd be back soon.
We went to the small garden at the university. We sat on one of the benches. I waited for Eliza to speak, but she started sobbing instead. I immediately comforted my close friend, gently rubbing her back, hoping to ease her pain and sadness.
"It hurts. It hurts so much, Maria. We love each other, but it feels like everyone is against us. Loving an Andresano is so difficult. It seems like everyone sees me as a rag unfit for a rich floor."
I sympathized with Eliza's bleeding heart. I wanted to help her, but there was nothing I could do. Nothing at all.
"Don't think that way, Eliza. I know you're strong. You're the daughter of Nanay Isay and Tatay Juan. You'll get through this. I know Andres will find a way to fight for you if he truly loves you."
Eliza's eyes were red as she hugged me tightly, crying even more in my arms.
Eliza and I grew up together. Her mother was one of our household helpers, and her father made and sold coconut products in the neighboring town. He was also a close friend of my father. Perhaps that was why we became friends. Growing up together, we knew almost all of each other's secrets.
"I love Andres so much. I can't bear to see him marry someone else. He promised me, he promised that once he became a lawyer, he would marry me. But it seems like fate is against us."
It pained me to see this happening. I didn't know how to ease Eliza's heartache. She was like a sister to me, and seeing her like this hurt me too.
"Eliza," I turned to where the voice came from, and there was Andres. He quickly glanced at me but then looked at Eliza. I averted my eyes.
"A-Andres," Eliza left my embrace when she saw Andres standing beside us. She immediately hugged him and cried. I saw the concern on Andres's face. It was clear that he genuinely loved Eliza.
I let them talk. I walked away from the garden, feeling my heart breaking.
"Maria, are you okay?" I didn't realize Gabriel was there. Andres's cousin and my close friend. I guess he was there to accompany Andres.
"I'm okay," I softly replied.
He furrowed his brow and handed me a handkerchief.
"You say you're okay, but your eyes tell a different story."
Only then did I notice the tears streaming down my face. I wiped them with my palm and looked away.
"I'm just hurt because of Eliza. She shouldn't be going through this," I whispered.
"There's nothing we can do."
I sighed deeply. I saw Eliza and Andres in the distance. Andres had his arm around Eliza, comforting her. I looked at Gabriel as he suddenly touched my shoulder.
"Let's go. Let's leave them be."
I hesitated for a moment, but in the end, I had no choice.
The entire day passed without Eliza returning to class. I wanted to worry, but knowing she was with Andres put me at ease. After school, I took Eliza's things home with me.
"Eliza didn't come back to class, huh?" Amelia asked as we were leaving the school.
"Maybe she and Andres are sorting things out," I whispered.
"Huh? Isn't that Andres over there?"
I looked in the direction Amelia pointed. There was Andres, arms crossed, standing seriously and looking directly at us. I excused myself and approached him.
"Where's Eliza? Is she home already?" I asked.
Andres looked me in the eye and took Eliza's things from me. He pulled me aside where there were fewer people.
"Eliza and I are leaving. I don't know when we'll be back. We haven't told anyone else except you and Gabriel."
I was speechless at his words. I just looked at Andres until I found my voice.
"But Andres—"
"Maria, this is my only request. I want to be with Eliza. She's the only one I love and will love."
I didn't know what to do. I wanted to say so many things, but I had no right to say anything. Why was Andres like this? He knew many people would be hurt by this decision. Not just his family, but also Eliza's family, and even me.
"What about Eliza's parents? They'll worry, and your parents? They'll look for you, Andres. You know that," I said, my voice filled with pain, but I made sure he didn't notice.
I was shocked when Andres held my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. It felt like I was melting under his intense gaze.
"I trust you," he said before leaving.
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the rain starting to pour, as if the sky was sympathizing with my broken heart. Why? Why was Andres so selfish?
-
I suddenly felt my mother's palm on my left cheek. I bowed my head, holding back the threatening tears. I shouldn't cry because it would only show weakness and cowardice.
"Why did you let them run away?! Do you know what you've let slip away, Galellea?!"
I sat on the chair behind me. I saw my father standing on the stairs, watching me. His expression showed sympathy and pity.
"Eliza is my friend, Mama. Andres is my friend too," I said softly but calmly.
It was true, they were my close friends. I didn't want to be the cause of any conflict. I wanted them to be happy, even if it meant I would lose and be hurt in the end.
"Do you think that's what's important right now, Galellea? Don't you understand?! We're Clementes, and they're Castillons. Don't you get that? Why did you even go to college if you're still so foolish?! We need them! We need their connections!"
I couldn't hold back any longer and looked at my angry mother.
"My brain isn't weak and I'm not stupid," I almost whispered.
I received another slap from my mother, this time making me fall to the floor. I cried from the pain.
"IF IT ISN'T, THEN WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WE NEED THE CASTILLON'S?!"
My fists clenched, and I stood up. I glared at my mother.
"Is money all that matters to you? They love each other! Why do you want to destroy that?—" I received another slap that knocked me to the floor. I cried from the pain.
"STOP IT, FLORDELIZA!" My father's voice thundered through the house. He helped me up, and I cried in his arms.
"That's why your child is growing up to be rebellious, Luisito! Go ahead and be together! You don't even think about what is best for all of us! Our money in the bank is almost gone. Half of our businesses are nearly closed. We are almost drowning in debt. Castillon is our only hope, but you still don't use your brains! Useless!"
My father and I were left in the living room while my mother went straight upstairs. I burst into tears and hugged my father. I should be used to my mother by now. But why is it like this? Why do I feel like she has no love for me at all?
"I'm sorry, Papa. I can't marry Andres. I don't want to ruin our friendship. Especially with Eliza, she's like a sister to me, Papa. She loves Andres so much, and even if I wanted to follow your orders, I can't do it." I felt my father's comforting hand on my hair. I felt peace, care, and protection.
"Don't think about it, Maria. Focus on your studies. I'll handle your mother. Sometimes she just gets too aggressive."
I smiled and picked up my bag. Before I left, my father gently touched my swollen cheek.
"I'll send you ice and food upstairs. Rest, you have school tomorrow. I love you, my daughter." I hugged my father tightly. "I love you too, Papa."
-
I closed the book I was reading when Manang Esther entered my room with food. I immediately helped her with the tray.
"Your mother is really something. How could she bring herself to hurt you, especially in front of Don Luis?"
I just smiled while she applied ice to my cheek.
"Maybe Mama is just having a bad day. Please understand her."
"It's a good thing you take after Don Luis and not your mother."
"Yes, manang, it's good that I took after my father. Otherwise, you might be seeing walking horns." Manang Esther laughed at what I said, and so did I.
Even though my life is like this, I am still lucky to have people who care about me. Since I was a child, I have known and noticed that my mother has no love for me. I don't know, maybe I'm not her child. But they told me I am really the child of Don Luisito and Doña Flordeliza Clemente. Maybe I'm just not lovable. The person I have loved for so long cannot love me back, so how could my own mother? I'm used to it. I've just gotten used to it. But my father is here. The people in our house. Who are willing to fill the love that my mother cannot give me.
---
"Is it true, the rumors?"
It was early morning, and that was the first question Amelia asked me.
"What rumors?" I asked, pretending not to know. Every day, Amelia always has new gossip. She never runs out.
"That Eliza and Andres eloped. It's all over the university. How could you not know? You and Eliza grew up together, and she's your best friend!" I just shrugged until our teacher arrived for the next three hours.
I tried to focus on listening, but I couldn't help but worry about Eliza and Andres. Where could they be now? Maybe they are happy. As long as they are happy, I am happy for them too. But I can't help but feel sad. Because deep down, I know I'm just trying to fool myself.
