Sixteen

Hi! It’s Marley!

Today is the first day of June and also – my birthday!! Finally made it to sixteen – and what better time to start a new diary? It’s only been five hours that I have been sixteen, but so far it feels pretty much the same as fifteen. I still can’t drive, I still have to live with my parents, I’m still bound by the county-imposed curfew. Woooooo!

I got woken up this morning just after sunrise by Kendall and Hannah. SO early for a summer day. It’s our tradition, though. I think it started in middle school, actually. Whoever’s birthday it is gets woken up by the others and dragged out to breakfast in their pajamas. Of course, there’s always communication between us and the parents, we’re definitely not breaking in. My mom failed to tell me they were coming (maybe she didn’t want to ruin the ‘surprise’), and wasn’t really thinking about it. I had only slept in my underwear. Thankfully, they did let me put pants on before we left. We don’t even have to have someone’s mom drive us any more either, since Hannah got her license a few months ago. We all piled into her station wagon, and went to a mom and pop breakfast place nearby.

Then, we all came back to my house after breakfast to open presents with my family. I finally got the keys to my very own car. Well actually, it’s a hand-me-down car from Collins and she got a new one but I’m not complaining. Its got four wheels and doors and everything. And miraculously no dents even though I was in the car several times when Collins was pulling into the garage and swiped the side of the house trying to pull into the garage. Which speaking of, I’ve got my own little garage space for it, with a little door separate from my parent’s spots. It’s so cute. J The car is a blue, two door BMW. Like I mentioned, I can’t really even drive it yet anyway. But I can sit in it in the drive way! In the state I live in you have to be sixteen and three months, so I technically won’t get my license until September. Which also means I have no chance of getting a parking spot at the school as a junior. You have to already have your license, and it’s a small raffle for the junior spots, anyway. I guess my mom is driving me to school every day. Wooo! Maybe I can talk my friends who have passes into picking me up.

Another present that I got was a planned trip for me, my mom, and Kendall and Hannah to travel up to New York for a few days. We’re waiting until winter, because that’s my favorite time to go. I’ve been to New York a few times already, and it’s always fun. My sister likes to shop so we spend a lot of time hitting the stores, also we see at least two plays on Broadway every time we go. (I used to be a theatre geek, but don’t worry, I’m reformed.) I wasn’t sure what my mom was planning on letting me do for my sweet sixteen. Everyone in my year at school had these elaborate parties since a lot of them turned sixteen last year. I’m just late because I’m a summer baby. Most kids had a dance party with a DJ, or some general overpriced gathering. So, I’m really excited for my trip. I don’t really like to be the center of all the focus of attention. It makes me feel oddly aware of myself, and I hate that feeling. I don’t like to be looked at, especially by a large room of people. I’m sure it was really hard for my mom to plan all of it and keep it a secret from me. She even already got tickets for all of us to see two different Broadway shows (maybe I’m not as reformed as I thought, but we’ll blame Mary Poppins for that.) And then she also got us all tickets to see the Rockettes. I’ve seen them before, but I was really young, so I’m sure that will be spectacular. Kendall and Hannah have both danced all their lives, so we’re all really excited over that.

Anyway, that’s all for now!

Hi! It’s Marley!

Yikes! I nearly scraped by with my life just now. I almost got caught sneaking out - AGAIN. I really need to step up my game. Or practice or something. I don’t even know, but I’m really not that great at it.

So, it wasn’t getting out of the house that almost did me in this time. At least I’ve smoothed that out some. (I’m no longer beefing with the window screen, we’ve been getting along great.) But, Laura and I met up and went down to the neighborhood pool to smoke. There’s a back path through the woods to the pool from our area, and we never usually see anyone, and it goes smoothly. That is aside from us both being scared of the dark, and jumpy at every hoot of an owl we hear.

So, all was fine, we went and did our thing, and then we took our time walking back and chatting. We probably weren’t even gone for more than an hour or so. We’re both a little too afraid to go far from either of our houses in case we get busted. Her house is before mine, so we parted ways and I walked back the few houses to my own house. (Actually, I sprinted back, because – you know – the dark.) So, I’m smacked as hell already as I’m walking up to the side of the house. It’s all quiet, there’s no lights on anywhere. (Not a neighbor peeping out his garage window anywhere to be seen.) I thought I was in the clear. (What a silly goose.)

Had I BEEN paying better attention, I would have noticed as I walked up that there was a flicker of blue light ablaze inside the living room. So, there I am standing in full view of the living room window, its four feet from the one I need to climb back through. I can see my dad laying on the couch. I guess he had woken up and couldn’t get back to sleep so he had come downstairs for a bit.

But then I realize, hey, if I can fully see him there, he can probably fully see me, standing here, outside, where I’m not supposed to be. I’ve never hit the ground so fast. (Actually, I’ve never had to do that before, so there’s a first time for everything.) So, of course, I’m in full panic now because I mean I assumed he couldn’t sleep, but he just as easily could be waiting up for me to come back if he found out I wasn’t at home. I don’t know, he’s a good dad, maybe he checks on me when I’m sleeping. But then, as I was sitting there, hiding and panicking, I realized that if he did know I had snuck out, he probably (no definitely) would have called my phone, and I didn’t have any missed calls or text messages.

So, then I had to end up crawling away from the windows and I sat down on the neighbor’s driveway. It’s got a small hill, and I sat down where I couldn’t be seen for the next TWO hours (you know, alone – IN THE DARK.) Finally, he turned off the television and went back upstairs. I kept creeping up near the window every couple minutes to make sure he had actually gone.

Then I wanted to wait, like, another twenty minutes until I was sure he was asleep, then SILENTLY crawl back through the window, put (my buddy) the screen back in, pull the window closed. And then I still had to sneak back upstairs, right past my parent’s door (definitely not dressed in my pajamas) to my own room. There was no way I could do that without getting caught. I was so sure. I was expecting my mom to step out any second and ask me what I was doing.But - I did it! I definitely didn’t let myself feel safe until I got all the way into my room with the door closed. I kept stopping to listen for any sign of moment in the hallway. NOTHING! That was WAY too close for comfort. I’ve really got to step it up.

Anyway, that’s all for now!

Hi! It’s Marley!

I just got home from going out to dinner with Cole. We both really like this burger place near the mall. We go all the time together, and just chat and catch up one on one. I mean, we mostly only hang out one on one anyway, but it’s nice to just have his full focus just me and him across the table from each other.

We both get burgers- he doesn’t like pickles on his, and he usually gets an extra basket of the steak fries for us to share. I always order a chocolate shake, because it comes with an extra refill in another cup. It’s usually bigger than the first one, but doesn’t come with whipped cream and the sprinkles. He loves chocolate milkshakes, and I don’t mind. It makes him happy and that makes me happy. I always have to tell him to tip more because he always tries to stub the server with a smaller tip. Our parents pay for it anyway.

Then after, we rode around in his car and listened to music. There are a few country roads that lead out of town with windy twists and turns, and we just drive the loop over and over. I always think he drives too fast, and it’s kind of scares me. I trust him, but that’s how accidents happen, and as much as I like him, I don’t want to end up thrown into a tree on some back road. I always tell him to slow down but he shushes me every time. He always does immediately, though. You could never pry it out of me, but I honestly like it when he shushes me like that because it’s kind of pisses me off more, and its hot. We always have this cute flirty banter where I’m all ‘don’t you shush me’ and he puts his finger over my lips, though always mindfully hesitant because he’s not %100 sure I won’t bite it. (Would I actually? Probably.) Sometimes I like to keep him guessing.

Anyway, that’s all for now!

Hi! It’s Marley!

I’m so tired! I just got home, and I got absolutely NO sleep. Kendall had a party at her house last night. Well, actually I should call it a gathering, or perhaps a get-together. I do go to bigger parties sometimes, but most of the time it’s just around fifteen people or at most, maybe twenty. It’s not like we’re blowing the roof off with a live DJ or anything.

We can only really party there when her dad goes out of town for work, anyway. While Linda obviously doesn’t care that we drink at their house, Kendall’s dad apparently doesn’t like it. So, whenever her leaves, we just drink there and they don’t tell him. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I just realized that Kendall’s little brother is never there either. LOL, where does he go? Is he at a sleep over? At his grandparents? Does he go with her dad? How do they plan that? I’ll have to ask Kendall.

Anyway, there was a bunch of us and we all slept there. Everyone got super trashed. Linda obviously was there ‘supervising’ and I went along on the ride to the liquor store to get whatever everyone wanted. I think she tries to control how much we are drinking, she thinks that we would be doing it anyway, so doing it at her house is better than somewhere not safe. I guess that makes sense, but she also provides alcohol to us, and it always spins out of control. Sometimes Linda drinks a little too much herself, and her and Kendall are always getting scrappy with one another because Kendall says that her mom is flirting with the boys there, which usually includes Kendall’s boyfriend. We all kind of notice it too. She’s always hugging them and giggling and telling them how funny and cute they are. She’s middle aged, so it’s obviously uncomfortable. Kendall whines about it all to the time to me and Hannah when it’s just the three of us. Though I will say at least it seems she only flirts with the boys that Kendall dates mostly, maybe because she knows them better, but I’m just glad there’s not a forty-year-old woman trying to put the moves on my boyfriends. Blech.

There was a good amount of people there this time (for a small gathering) and we were all playing pong and flip-cup at the kitchen table. Bennet and I lost so many times, but at least we didn’t get skunked and have to do a naked lap around the house. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that actually happen to anyone, it’s usually just a myth. Good thing, because there’s a fenced in back yard, and scaling a six-foot fence buck naked would be scarring humiliation at the least.

Things felt good or at least ok with Bennett. (Although there is still the issue that he makes no noise when he kisses that I’ve got to sort out.) I still feel like he may disappear again at any second. Anytime Mary Claire comes crawling back he’s gone in the blink of an eye. I bet she sees the messages I text him too before I notice he’s not responding. All the ‘Hey, what are you doing today?’ and the ‘is everything ok?’ texts. I’m sure she also sees the ones of me cussing him out for ghosting me again. So, we’ll see how the next couple months go.

Anyway, that’s all for now!

Hi! It’s Marley!

Per usual, I just got home from Cole’s house. His mom and step dad weren’t home, and it was just me and a couple of his friends. (A tantalizing night of listening to boys talk about boy stuff.) I often find myself being the only girl at boy’s night. It’s only because I’m just usually already with Cole when they’re planning things and I think he feels bad about telling me to go home so he can hang out with his friends. Though, I do try not to be obnoxious when his friends are around. I just try to blend in – be one of the boys – for two reasons; one because I want his friends to like me, and two, I want him to see that I can blend into his life. Not that it would matter, but I don’t want to be problematic in his life. (Or at least not all the time!) I want it to be almost like he doesn’t even notice I’m there. (But wait, please still notice me!)

And I’m also really happy he’s found a new friend group after everyone stopped talking to him last year. That was kind of shitty of them, it’s not like the drama was even that serious. He hasn’t ever said it, but I think he’s felt kind of depressed the last few months. I could tell in the way he held himself, he lost the twinkle in his eye. Nothing major that I’m sure anyone else noticed, he was just a little - different. Less quippy, quicker to get frustrated with me, talking (even less) than he usually did. I wish he would have talked to me about it. I could understand. I could help him.

Anyway, today they just played Beer-io Cart, which involves shot-gunning a beer, spinning around in a desk chair, and then playing a level of Mario cart. (Yeah, it was a weird as it sounds.) I don’t think it’s an actual game, I’m pretty sure they made it up, but it’s fine. They still had a good time, and I think the whole objective of the game is just to get drunk. (So, hey! They won!) I usually just watch, partly because I’m so bad a Mario Cart, and partly because I would probably throw up if I tried to shotgun a beer. I don’t even like the way it tastes. It’s fine though, it was still time well spent breathing the same air as him.

Anyway, that’s all for now!

Hi! It’s Marley!

Me and Cole went to dinner tonight. It’s Wing Wednesday which means that all wings are only 50 cents. We pretty much do this every week during the summer. Raj used to come with us but now it’s usually just the two of us. There’s a bunch of sports that they play on the big screens at the restaurant. And even though I don’t really watch or know anything about sports, he always answers all my questions about what just happened, or why they got that call, or penalty. I really try to be interested in the things he likes.

It’s always PACKED on Wing Wednesdays. Cole usually gets the same thing every time. Ten wings – with the bone – half Asian zing, half mango habanero. Occasionally he’ll switch it up and go with half sweet honey barbecue. (Whoa, slow down there.) He also likes ranch with his wings. Not bleu cheese. He also tears up some celery with his wings. I like him (just in case you were wondering.)

Today, though, he kept burping out loud because he was drinking a lot of coke with his meal, and he did it a few times. So rude. I kept telling him to stop it (but as you can probably guess) he doesn’t listen to me.So after, like, the third time, this macho looking dude (who looks top heavy) stands up from the next booth over, and starts going in on Cole about how it was so gross and rude to the other people in the restaurant. Cole burped in the guy’s face, and I swear the man was about to swing. Luckily his wife stopped him, probably because their child was with them. It was just a lot of drama that wasn’t necessary.

Then the guy was asking for Cole’s parents phone number because he said he was going to call them and tell them how rude their son was being. I kind of wish he had, but Cole wouldn’t give it to him, and was just returning the guys attitude. The guy totally could have just rocked Cole, he was way bigger, but Cole was only egging it on. The dude literally almost exploded.

Then after that whole confrontation, half the restaurant was looking at us. He even complained to the waiter, and she had to come over and tell us that if he did it again, they would have to ask us to leave. As you can imagine, I was fuming at Cole. Sometimes he’s kind of just an asshole. Never towards me, usually, but he gets in those moods where he peacocks around. With his little chest puffed up, like he’s not skinny and small. I still love him through it, though. (Duh.)

Anyway, that’s all for now!