Seventeen

Hi.

Happy Saturday! It’s late and Cole just dropped me off. We went to Rickey’s apartment to hang out and drink. They like to hop the fence to the pool in his apartment complex, and we were all hanging out there. I’m really surprised that no one called the cops on us. I was really worried the whole time, but none of the boys cared at all. They were just jumping in, and hollering. I stayed right near the gate in case the cops rolled up. (While also enjoying Cole in his bathing suit – his body is looking FINE this time of year.) I couldn’t relax though, I was just too afraid of getting busted. I’m forever liking to cause trouble, but not to get in it.

That’s all.

Hi.

I’m so exhausted. I just got home from hanging out downtown by the river. The sun is so draining, and I forgot sunscreen so my skin is scorched.

I went down there with Allen and Bailey, and we planned to meet up with some other people once we got to the swimming spot. But the three of us walked around the trails for a little while that line the river. I don’t really know my way around down there that well, but Allen always knows exactly where to go. We smoked up in the woods off one of the trails, and then we came along an abandoned building. It was kind of only the skeleton of the building left, thankfully it was made of some kind of cement, and there were huge windows that had been busted out that overlooked the river. We weren’t the only ones there though. It’s close enough that if you run and jump out of the window you’ll land in the water. Allen said he’s been before and jumped and it was a place that a lot of jumpers frequent. He said we could do it, but I was a little scared, because one, someone said there was a lot of glass (probably from the windows) not only on the bank below, but also in the water where you’re supposed to land. I’m not trying to get tetanus.

So after we smoked and explored, we met up at the part of the river where you can cross, and walk down on the large rocks where some of Allen’s other friends were waiting and hanging out. I’m glad Bailey was with us, because I’m not super close with the other people there, and any time we hang out with Allen we’re usually doing something we’re not supposed to like smoking, or drinking, or just sneaking around in general. I think Bailey is just as scared to get into trouble as I am, so she kind of gets it. It also makes me not the only person to say no to doing something, either, which is nice.

Anyway, it was really only a couple more people, two of which I know pretty well, I wouldn’t say we’re best friends, but we sometimes hang out in similar circles. One is a guy named Alex, and he’s got a crush on Kendall, so they’re always flirting with anytime they’re near each other. She’s not the least bit interested, but of course she doesn’t make that known at all.

The second is a girl named Samantha, who I do know a little better. Although I’m not really supposed to be hanging out with her. There was this drama between our parents in the 90’s. Her dad used to be a contractor and he was hired to build some of the houses in my old neighborhood, including ours. I guess he kept asking for more and more money for materials from each of the family, and then they figured out that he was saying things cost more than they really did and then he ended up pocketing the difference. There was this huge law suit where a bunch of the families in my neighborhood got together and sued him for everything he was worth. (Which is not much.) I think he ended up spending some time in prison for it. I didn’t know anything about it until my mom saw Samantha in my yearbook in middle school. I’m not sure if Samantha knows or not, but she’s never said anything to me to make me believe that she did. She’s always been nice to me. Although I’m a little suspicious because back when Chase and I broke up I called him and a girl answered his phone and wouldn’t let me talk to him. I think it was Samantha, and I only say that because she’s got some fucked up teeth, and heavy braces to fix them and you can tell from the way that she talks. I don’t know, I just knew it was a voice that I’d heard before, and then once I heard her again I was pretty sure it was her. I never asked her about it though. I didn’t want to start drama when she was seeming being nice to me since then. But I’m still a little skeptic.

So, the vibe was already a little weird. But then we all went to the rope swing that people also frequent when they’re down by the river. There’s an old train bridge that goes over part of the river, and someone tied a rope swing to it. People climb up the pillars of the bridge and swing off from there. I’ve never done it because obviously the bridge is not meant to be climbed, so it’s really hard to get up to the takeoff spot. You kind of have to Spiderman crawl up the cement bridge support, and then cross this plant of wood and then from there you can jump off. Not a lot of girls really do it, but there’s always a huge gathering of people there swimming and watching people jump. But then Alex said that he knew a way to get up to the bridge above that the swing hangs from and that we could jump from there. You kind of have to walk a ways down following the train tracks overhead, but there’s a point where it goes over a hill. Then you can just walk up and onto the tracks. It was about a quarter of a mile to the hill, and then a quarter of a mile back on the tracks to the jumping spot, and from there you have to climb over the metal railing, and out onto a plank that someone nailed to the bridge.

At first Samantha and I were going just to see how high it was, and to watch Alex jump with one of the other boys. Maybe we would try it, but we definitely wanted to check it out first. Bailey wanted no part, and she waited down in the water below with Allen. Once we got up there and were looking over the edge, it was SO high. The regular jumping place off the pillars is probably about two stories of a fall into the water. This was probably twice that. At least 40 feet. And I thought they can’t possibly jump. But they did. Both of the boys jumped, and they were both fine. Alex is really tall, at least 6’3 and definitely heavier than me. Samantha said she was definitely not jumping, and she started to walk back. I kind of wanted to even though I was really scared. So she went back, and I climbed over the railing, and stepped out on to the plank of wood. Everyone was watching me from below, and they were kind of cheering (is that peer pressure?) for me to jump. I had Alex mark the water where he landed so I knew where to aim, and I just went for it. It felt just as long of a fall down to the water as it looked, but then the problem came.

The water under the bridge is not deep. It’s only about waist high on most adults. Maybe it’s sloped out to six or eight feet deep, but it was definitely not enough water to land in. Sure, it broke my landing just a little, but it hurt like hell hitting the water, and then I slipped so fast under the water and I busted my tailbone on the bottom of the sandy river. It hurt so bad, and at first, I thought I broke my back. Luckily, I could still swim so I figured it was only bruised. It does hurt now every time I sit or stand up, or really any kind of movement in my back makes it twinge. I’m not sure how the boys didn’t hit the bottom when they jumped. (I guess I know the answer now if someone ever asks if I’ll jump off a bridge because my friends did it first. Its yes, the answer is yes, I definitely would.) So I’ll just need to remember that next time I decide to fling myself off a bridge, I should probably check the landing first.

That’s all.