Prologue
"Caleine, I promise..." I said as I held her hands while looking at her eyes "I promise, i will change for you, i will do everything... just don't leave me" I pleaded, almost begging for her to stay.
Napuno na s'ya, to the point na hindi n'ya na kayang panoorin na lang akong gawin lahat ng mga 'yon. I can't blame her, alcohol and cigarette is my way to calm myself down when she's not by my side. Matagal niya na akong pinatitigil because it's bad for my health but i can't... it's a habit.
"I've had enough, Rius! Tama na pwede ba? You always said that! Pero anong nangyari? Paulit-ulit mo pa ding ginagawa!" Tinanggal n'ya ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay n'ya and turned her back on me.
"N-no, Cal... please? Give me a chance, just one last chance?" I followed her as she walked away from me. I won't give up, i know she loves me kaya hindi n'ya magagawang iwan ako.
"Chance? Hah! Ilang chance na ba ang binigay ko sa'yo, Rius?" Nilingon n'ya ako na may bahid ng galit at kalungkutan sa kaniyang mga mata. "Hindi ko na nga mabilang. Every chances that I gave you, lahat sinayang mo!"
"Please? Magbabago na ako this time... baby please?" I hugged her tightly from behind, controlling my tears from falling. "You love me... right? Baby...?
She didn't respond. She remained stoic under my embrace. "I know you love me kaya hindi mo ako iiwan, right?" I asked her, resting my head on her shoulder.
"Let me go, Rius..." sinubukan n'yang kumawala sa yakap ko but I didn't let her. "Ayoko na! Tapos na tayo, hindi ba?!" she bursted out.
"H-hindi ako pumayag, Cal... n-not like this... baby please" this time I let all my tears fall, this is the first time na umiyak ako dahil sa isang babae. "You love me! You said it, baby..."
"Why can't you let me go?! Anong mahirap intindihin sa 'tapos na tayo'? Rius, tama na!" she yelled at me, hindi na dahil naaasar s'ya but because she's mad. Very mad. This is all because of me.
"I can't live without you, Cal! Ikaw lang ang gusto ko... please don't leave me, baby... I love you" I cried, letting her see my vulnerable side.
"I don't love you anymore, Rius! Let me go!" umalis s'ya sa pagkakayakap ko. Watching me crying with pain and sadness in her amber eyes
"N-no! Take it back, Cal... hindi 'yan totoo! You love me...! I broked down and fell on my knees "Tell me, you love me! Please...Cal!"
"Rius, please! You know damn well na ayaw kong ganon ang ginagawa mo!" she yelled again, completely devastated.
She's right. I know very well that she don't like me doing those things. I regret doing those... sana noong una niya akong pinatigil, ginawa ko na agad. Masyado akong nakampante na patatawarin niya din ako kaagad pero hindi ko alam na punong puno na siya sa mga kagaguhang pinaggagawa ko.
"Y-yes, i admit... I-i love you... pero hindi porke't mahal kita hindi na kita iiwan" she said that made me look up at her, i can see that she's trying to control her emotions. Her tears.
"C-cal... i'm begging you... p-please don't leave me..." I keep on looking at her, not minding my own tears. "I will stop, this time... please? J-just stay with me, Cal..."
"Pero paulit-ulit nalang, Rius... sasabihin mo 'yan ngayon pero gagawin mo ulit" she looked away, pinipigilan niyang umiyak din.
"It will be for real this time, C-cal... I promise..." i wiped my tears and stood up, i cupped her face but she keeps on looking away.
"L-look at me, please... look at me" I begged, sa kaniya lang ako nagiging ganito.
She looked at me with tears falling from her eyes. I hate seeing her crying, and it pains me more because i am the reason of those tears.
"One more time... trust me one more time, Cal" I wiped her tears with my thumb "I promise... for you, for us"
"I-I'll think about it..." she sobbed and looked down. She's always like this when she cries in front of me.
I don't want to lose her, losing her is like killing me. Living without her was beyond my imagination.
This time my Caleine, i promise that i will do change for you, and for us. Don't give up on me yet, ikaw lang ang pinanghahawakan ko.
You are my sanity, and please keep me sane forever, I love you.
A/N: What do you think about this story? Do vote guys, love lots!
