Chapter 1: I still love you — Eli
For over 6 years I have been undeniably attracted to my best friend, since I was 12, I knew I had feelings for him when I started imagining his face and cherry lips touching my mouth as our minds flew and our hands touched.
Believe me, I tried everything to get him to notice me, from always trying to hold his hands, hugging his neck, touching his face over and over again, and even always sitting next to him as close as possible, but nothing helped. While I continued imagining a life with him, he continued telling me about the new girlfriends he had gotten and loved, I even found out that he had already had his first time with one of them and that it was the most wonderful thing he had ever experienced. happened, I just congratulated him with great joy and amazement, I'm a man, I have to do it, but inside, I was so sad and angry knowing that someone other than me had given him his first time as a couple, maybe it's not the right one. big deal for you, but for me it is the greatest gift and token of love that a person can give to the love of their life, and it hurt me so much that that first time being intimate was not with me.
I was increasingly alone, many girls approached me to go out with me, but it was a double-edged sword when I told my friends that I was bisexual, especially him, Charlie.
I perfectly remember that he, along with 3 other friends, asked me what type of partner I liked, to which I responded: "Both, I'm bisexual", his face was filled with amazement and a strange tranquility, because although he is not very beautiful, If he was the most beautiful of all of us (or so I think hahaha), his surprise was that I recognized myself a lot with people for being a boy of extreme education, studious and very religious, how could someone so attached to a faith be " bisexual"?
That day was the end of the possibilities of having a heterosexual couple in my life, at least in my home, all the girls I came to like knew that I was bisexual, and the worst of all was that Jan Carlos was to blame for Therefore, when a girl noticed me, he quickly said: —Hey, did you know that Elías is bisexual? —What do you mean, Jan Carlos? —Yes, he also likes boys. —Really? How disgusting! —Hey, you don't have to judge him, that's how he was born and that's how he is. —How disgusting, please tell him I'm no longer interested. —Of course, I told him, and excuse him, he didn't want this to happen. —Well, tell him that if he didn't want it to happen, it's better that he treat his mental illness. I'm leaving! -Be fin
e.
And that was like that every time a girl turned to see me, he was jealous that I had a partner, maybe it was because prettier girls noticed me than he did, while I was 15, he was 13, and His only mind was how many girls he could have more than all of us, while I wasn't interested in anyone until I really liked someone, he would take anyone who came his way and make her his girlfriend, They had sex and left each other, over and over again until almost 14 to 16 years old.
When I entered high school, I was able to see new faces and get away from the defamations that had been made in my home because of my sexual orientation. I will not deny that I fell in love. A classmate in my class even made me forget about Jan Carlos for a long, long time. time, but I never confessed my feelings to him and it was the same as with my best friend, a lot of love but little confidence to say it, not even to any of the 10 people that I came to like, but that boy Walter with his unique beauty and I can never forget her curls in her dark hair.
It has been like this for all these years, I have liked many people, but Jan Carlos is someone that I have never been able to stop loving, now that I entered university, I still love him despite everything, but instead, I have decided to leave of trying to get noticed by someone who will surely never notice me, maybe that's how things are, I will never be able to know the love between us.
I have set a new horizon and I have decided to conquer someone else in whom I have greater hopes, like my new university friend Gabriel or my other best friend, Charlie, I will close the page on Jan Carlos forever, I am already 18, I'm not just looking for a courtship anymore, I'm looking for someone to accompany me and be with me through thick and thin, maybe my partner is out there, who knows, luck and death, God sends it hahaha, whatever, let's see what The future will have me, a hug and greetings, Elías.
